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Monday, April 30, 2012

Some People Don't Deserve Their Job!

Some people don’t deserve their job! I will elaborate as to why I feel that way. This morning at the commuter rail station I had to buy my parking pass for tomorrow since it is the beginning of a new month. I was ten minutes early for the train and there were only two people in line for parking passes. SCORE! I hopped in line and waited my turn. At 7:35, it was finally  my turn. This gave me 3 minutes to do the transaction and get to my train. That’s just enough time. I ask for the May monthly parking pass and hand the man my card. He slips me a sheet to sign and when I hand it back to him he hands me my receipt and walks away from the window. I talk into the microphone “Excuse me!” no one looks up from behind the ticket counter. I talk a little louder “Excuse me! You forgot to give me my parking pass!” No one looks up this time either. I then look at the clock, 7:37. I have ONE MINUTE to get to the platform. I knock on the window and a woman behind the counter says “Ma’am! We are busy. You will have to wait.” I talk into the mic once more “He gave me my receipt but forgot to give me my pass. If I wait any longer I will miss my train!” she replies irritated “You have to wait lady!”

I look at this guy doing NOTHING! He just has his back turned towards me fumbling with paper. Now I’m pissed and pound on the glass again. “You forgot my pass and I will miss my train!” The old man looks up as if a light clicks. He comes over to the window and looks at me. “I need my parking pass for the month of May.” He rings me in again “That’ll be $70.” I put my receipt in the window and yell “I JUST PAID FOR IT!” he looks at the receipt and it doesn’t register in his stupid little head “$70 please.” I yell into the mic once more and talking slowly and clearly “I … JUST… PAID” pointing to my receipt “YOU” pointing to stupid old man “FORGOT TO GIVE ME MY PASS” pointing to the pink dash board hangers on his ticket counter behind the glass.

Ding, light bulb goes off again “OOOOHHHHHHH” he says and then puts the pink dash board hanger under the glass finally. I look at the clock. 7:38. I grab it and run. I barely made the train! Happy freakin’ Monday! I think people like this don’t deserve their job and they should give that job to someone that can actually do it!

Friday, April 27, 2012

Bull Fighting Jack A*s Strikes Again!

I am patiently waiting for the T at State and am the first one in place and lined up where the doors should open. I see Bull Fighting Jack A*s come up along side me and am tempted to move to the next waiting area down but decide against it because it's filled up and wouldn't be first for the train.I ran straight from work and wanted to be sure to get to North Station and giving up my prized position because he is a nitwit wasn't in the cards! The train pulls in and people disembark I go to step on the train and the Bull.Fighting Jack A*s charges into the train plowing me OVER and into the arms of an innocent bystander. I apologize pofusely to the bystander but also point to the idiot who just plowed me over. Everyone on the train is shaking their head at him and being so nice to me offering to make space for me because while I fell into this guys arms, others piled in and took prized space. Grr! this guy is such an idiot and I am beginning to question his mental state. Like it has been said before, he will do that to the wrong person some day and get beaten to a pulp and I won't feel bad one bit and if I'm lucky, I'll get to watch! I know I sound mean right now but he is a jerk and needs to stop! Then I get to North Station and my train is obviously that is adding to my little temper tantrum! Happy Friday and have a great weekend! I am out of the city and going to have a great time!

Thursday, April 26, 2012

"Stop Looking at Me....SWAN!" -Billy Madison

This morning I finally have had enough. There is a couple that gets on at my stop on the commuter rail. The guy stares at me in a day dream like state while the woman shoots me the look of death… EVERY MORNING! It’s annoying!

I am used to people staring at me. They do it all the time. I’m not conceded. Probably 99.9% of the time, I think I have something on my face. If I am out and about with someone and I notice someone staring, I ask my friend “Do I have something on my face?” If I am not with someone, I whip out my compact mirror. I have gotten a complex from people just looking at me and when I am eating around people I am unfamiliar with or in a business setting, I probably brush my face with a napkin five to six times in between bites because…god forbid, I have a crumb or curd of cottage cheese stuck on my face. EEK!

Anyway, this kind of staring from this couple is different. I know darn well that I don’t have cottage cheese or a crumb on my face because by the time I get to the train station, I haven’t eaten anything and I haven’t even taken a sip of my coffee yet because I am too busy focusing on making the train. So, to the annoying guy that stares at me in a day dream like state- Stop it! Your significant other is obviously upset about this and takes it out on me. To the annoying woman that shoots me death looks, stop it! All I do is show up looking presentable for work. The person you should be shooting death looks at is your significant other.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Let’s Go Rob His House

This isn’t the first time this has happened which is surprising to me. I am not in the quiet car so when someone picks up the phone, it’s not too shocking. This is what I hear-

“Hello?” long pause.
“Ah, yes. We were having an issue with the bathroom on the second floor. Can you come today?”
“Great, I left the door open. I am at work all day and unfortunately can’t make it back but you can just let yourself in.”
“Yes, my address is
555 Main Street
…..” (changed to protect this dumb a*s)

OK, about a hundred and fifty people just heard you say you were stuck at work ALL day and you left your home unlocked! FOR REAL! Are you that stupid?

Friday, April 20, 2012

Culture Kids

Last night when I got on the T, I noticed a grandmother and a granddaughter standing next to me. The grandmother says to the girl “When we get to North Station, head straight for the escalator. If we get separated, we’ll meet at the top of the escalator.” That’s a pretty smart gramma for having a plan. It was rush hour and if you get separated from a kid who doesn’t know the ins and outs of public transit, you could get lost. We got off at North Station and the granddaughter did exactly that, went directly toward the escalator. They got to the top and the grandmother goes “Great job. Now walk in a straight line and follow the crowd. I don’t want you to get trampled.”

I thought this was pretty neat. It’s great to teach kids how to use public transit to get around a city. It makes them less intimidated to use it when they are adults. I recall going into Boston to see Disney on Ice every year for my birthday with my parents and we’d hop on the T. Being kids from New Hampshire, my sister and I were wide eyed to the characters we’d encounter on the T. I always remember thinking it was the greatest thing that there was a stop called “Lechmere” because when you’re a child of the 80’s, that is where all of your home electronics came from.  

Fast forward and my sister and I were young adults. My grandparents took us into New York City. During that stay, we took the trains, ferries, taxi’s and limo’s. My grandfather had a story for each way of transit which made my sister, grandmother and I laugh at each one. It was a great experience because we experienced all the ways of travel in a city in one weekend. We also went to Ellis Island, did some shopping, ate at the Oyster Bar and attempted to see RENT (our limo got stuck in traffic and the box office literally shut in our faces. My sister and I got a fancy dessert while my grandparents enjoyed a “Manny-Hanny” and a gin martini.)

By showing kids and young adult’s culture and different ways of life, it does help them be less intimidated to do it on your own. For the people in the city, this seems to go without saying. However, for the people in the country, get those kids into the city. Give them culture (arts, shows, plays, shopping…Disney on Ice) and let them know that there is a world beyond their small one. I am grateful that my parents and grandparents showed my sister and I culture and cities and most important- how to get around them.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

I Gotta Take an Enormous Sh*t!

This morning as we are disembarking the commuter rail at North Station, we are all walking as usual like a pack of sheep along the platform. All of a sudden a guy comes running up behind me and screams in my ear “Move it. Move it! MOVE IT! I gotta take an enormous sh*t!” I get out of his way and he continues running and screaming “I’m gonna sh*t my pants. Move it!” By his lack of couth, I thought he was joking so that he could bypass the pack of sheep. However, he finally get’s by our pack and into the train station. He runs in one direction. No bathroom and then runs to the ticket counter. I assume he asked them where the bathroom was. The ticket person pointed toward the restrooms and this guy booked it.

So, there you have it- another TMI (Too Much Information) moment on the commuter rail.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Yoga on the Train

Namaste and welcome to the Commuter Rail! This morning when I boarded the train, I see a woman in a three seater by herself sitting with her legs “Criss Cross Apple Sauce”, her elbows bent toward the center of her body and her hands in a praying position. She has on LuLu Lemon pants and a North Face fleece. Her hair tied off in a loose pony tail. It dawns on me- this lady is getting in her morning yoga session…ON-THE-TRAIN!

First of all lady, you are not in the quiet car so I don’t know how you are in your peaceful state. There are children on this mornings train like you wouldn’t believe and the train is louder than usual thanks to that thing they get called April Vacation. Second of all, someone is going to make you slide in sooner or later and your “Criss Cross Apple Sauce” position will be sacrificed. Third, please do not attempt downward dog and if you do, please be sure your rear is not facing the aisle and/or me.

So lady, the train is not the place for morning yoga sessions. That is all.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

A Mistress Update

Some of you may remember a post a while back “Meet Mistress Phone Guy”. Well, I never anticipated how much impact this post would have. It has become, by a land slide, my NUMBER ONE read post! It’s either woman freaking out that their Lowell line commuter rail riding husband is “THE” Mistress Phone Guy or it is men getting tips on how to disregard train etiquette by taking that time on the ride in or out of the city to talk to their mistresses. I believe it is the former rather than the latter.

Either way, the original Mistress Phone Guy has been quiet ever since I posted my post. He’s been sulking each morning… ok maybe not sulking but he is quiet in his seat mindlessly looking out the train window. He probably doesn’t have a mistress anymore. In my previous post I predicted he may find a more discrete one but I truly don’t think he has. I think he learned his lesson. So ladies, 99.9 percent of the guys on the Lowell line are probably innocent of having a mistress and I feel bad if I freaked you out. It’s most likely not your man. To put you at ease without giving away his identity, he’s got to be in his 60’s. If your man isn’t in his 60’s, breathe easy!

Monday, April 16, 2012

Happy Marathon Monday!

It’s marathon Monday and most of the Bostonian’s have today off as it is Patriots Day. I completely forgot it was a holiday as I am in the world of finance and if the stock market isn’t closed, neither are we. I hopped in my car and went to the train station this morning. On my way over there, I heard the announcer on 98.5 suggest that all the people heading into the city for the Marathon, use the T or Commuter Rail. I thought “Great! This is going to be interesting.” I pull into the train station and get a great parking spot (Score!). When I get to the platform, there are a few people I recognize but most have the day off. Everyone else had on “tourist gear”. A sox game and a marathon! It’s a great day in Boston today!!

As the train approaches, it stalls about 100 feet from the platform. I hate when the train is in sight and you can’t get on. Fifteen minutes later, we are back in business. The train picks us up and we are on our way. The entire train was full of excited marathon cheer leaders that couldn’t wait to get to the side lines. These people were already jacked up on a caffeine high or just high on life as they would be witnessing some amazing people cross the finish line today.

When I got to North Station, I went to hop on the Orange line. Either the side line cheer leaders didn’t know where to go or they felt like walking but not too many people were around when I got on the orange line. It was the first time in a while that I had gotten on the T and it wasn’t packed like sardines. It was spacious this morning and I realized that it’s harder to keep your balance with all your space then it is when you’re packed in. I held on to the rail extra tight and planted my feet firmly to the ground. This driver liked her breaks and I wasn’t about to let myself go flying down the aisle like I’ve seen some people do in the past.

I hope everyone has a great day today and I really hope those runners stay hydrated and cool with the weather approaching record highs. About 4,000 people have dropped out of the race (roughly 26,000 remain) and I don't blame those 4,000 one bit.

Friday, April 13, 2012

I Lost My Car

This morning at North Station, I over hear a man pick up the phone behind me. “Hello?” There is a long pause as the person identifies themselves. “Oh, I’m at North Station right now. I lost my car last night. I don’t know where I put it.” Pause “NO, my car. I don’t know where I put it.” Clearly the person on the other end must have thought they misheard him too. I thought car keys initially myself. “Oh, I gotta go now. The train is pulling up. I’ll talk to you later.”

My dad always says “Bad decisions make for great stories!” I genuinely believe that this is very true. As much of a hurry I was in to get to work, I almost wish there was some sort of train delay because I would have loved to hear the back ground story as to how someone parks their vehicle on a Thursday night and wakes up Friday morning not able to find it. It’s not like it snowed and the car is buried. It’s beautiful out. Happy Friday the 13th Everyone! Enjoy your day!!

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Jumping off the Train

Apparently, there is a problem with people jumping off the train before it comes to a complete stop! Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday of this week the conductor announced as we approach North Station "Please wait to get off the train until we are at a complete stop!" This is new for him to say because normally, he doesn't say anything and the tele-prompt just says "Now approaching North Station. Thank you for riding the commuter rail. Please be considerate and remove all bags, cups and newspapers....." However, the last three days he didn't play that message and felt the need to point out that we need to wait for a complete stop before hopping onto that platform.

Well, today he was frustrated and the announcement was "Please wait until the train is at a complete stop. This means that if you are off the train before the conductor, you did not wait until we were at a complete stop! Thank you!"

So, apparently people didn't get that they needed to wait until the train was completely stopped. However, now that he added "This means that if you are off the train before the conductor, you did not wait until we were at a complete stop!" people are really going get it. Can't wait to see what he has to say tomorrow as we approach North Station.
(Image courtesy of

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Various Seat Hogging Tactics

Today got me thinking about how people are selfish trying to keep space to themselves instead of letting others sit where there is a perfectly good seat. There are various ways people hog seats. You have:

  • The Bag Lady

Or bag man for that matter. Either way, this maneuver is for amateur train riders and is an old stand by for tried and true train riders. The subject places their bag on the seat instead of in the over head rack or on the floor by their feet. Subject hopes that people boarding see that obviously the bag is sitting in the seat so they in turn can not sit there. However, I on the other hand, will ask them to move their bags and sit anyways. I will make you move your bag before I stand in the aisle.  We all paid our train ticket and I don’t believe your bag did. (MBTA is looking into ticketing people who have their bags on seats and I honestly hope they do it.)

  • Mr. Metro

Or Globe or New Yorker or Wall Street Journal- Whatever you want to call him/her. These people take their papers and sprawl them out over the empty seat next to them as if they are digging in their newspaper for a hidden treasure. God forbid you try and sit down in the empty seat this paper is sprawled out over because you will mess up this person neatly dissected paper. (These people will eventually become like dinosaurs- extinct due to Kindles and Netbooks).

  • Leakage

This person will sit with an empty seat holding their coffee-tea-water-soda. The second they see someone coming after that vacant seat, woopsy- coffee-tea-water-soda is spilled on the empty seat just enough to ruin said person’s pants/skirt if they sit but just little enough that it won’t spill over into the seat they themselves are sitting in.

  • Sleeping Beauty

More like a sleeping disaster. No one looks good sleeping on a train. Usually this person lounges across a two seater only taking up about a seat and a half. However, no one wants to wake a sleeping disaster so they generally carry on and the sleeping disaster remains the only one in the seat.

  • Fake Sleeping Beauty

See above- accept this time the sleeping disaster is conveniently only sleeping when people are boarding the train. Once the train starts moving they are back flipping through their smart phones. These ones really aggravate me.

  • Sleeping Beauty-Slash- Bag Lady

This is when the sleeping disaster also piles up their baggage on the seat next to them making it next to impossible for the person boarding the train to sit down.

  • Sir Talks A Lot

This person doesn’t care who hears their conversation. They are loud and obnoxious. They think their life is so important and everyone needs to know about it. You don’t want to be stuck next to this person and if they are on the phone when you go to sit down you can by pass them. However, if you take a seat and then they pick up the phone, you’re screwed.

  • Fat Bastard

These people use their foods as deterrents. Tuna, Chinese Food, Pop Corn… Yes Pop Corn!!! These are not pleasant smelling things. The only person it smells good to is the person eating it. I know pop corn doesn’t smell badly. However, when grease and salt flail about in the air onto my super cute suede jacket, it’s not cool!

  • I’m waiting for a Friend

This person is always waiting for a friend. They stack every belonging they have with them across the seat and blatantly yell at anyone who tries to ask to sit “I’m waiting for a friend!” They don’t look so mean when they state that. However, when the train takes off and said friend didn’t show up they look like they fall in one of two categories- Pathetic or Liars!  

Move Over!

This morning on the way in, the train got a little crowded as we got closer and closer to North Station. People in three seaters tend to sit one on the window and one on the aisle and leave the middle seat open. As people piled in at the last stop, there were many standing in the aisle. Although there were also many aisle seated people in three seaters not willing to move in to the middle seat to allow these people standing in the aisle to actually sit down. All of a sudden you hear a woman scream "Don't you want to move in so he can sit?" she was angry.

I looked up and she was sitting at a window seat in a three seater and she was screaming to the person at the other end of her seat. The guy on the aisle seat looks up dumb founded. Clearly he doesn't know train etiquette. The guy in the aisle says to the girl "No, I'm fine. We're not going far." The guy in the seat moves in anyways and the guy in the aisle looks at him like he is crazy. I think the guy in the aisle was being stubborn and could have sat but didn't. The guy who slid into the middle seat has now slid back into his aisle seat and there is an awkward silence from there until North Station.

So people, when people are standing in the aisle, let them sit if there is a spare seat! This is common sense. Don't be greedy. We all paid the same to ride the train and all deserve a seat if it's available!

Friday, April 6, 2012

No Matter How Bad You Have it (UPDATE)

As some of you may remember, I had an encounter with a man at the train station who touched my heart tremendously. (Link Below)

No Matter How Bad You Think You Have it Someone Else Has it Worse

Today, I had the day off. I took my dog on a great hike in the morning and then wanted to head into the city to get a few things. Everyone wondered why I'd go into the city on my day off but I wanted to grab fresh veggies at Haymarket and dessert for tonight at Mike's Pastries in the North End. I caught the 12:35pm train into the city and rode along with all the tourists who were heading into the city also. I got into the city at about 1pm and went straight to Mike's. After that I flew through Faneuil Hall to pick up a few things and then straight to Haymarket. 

After getting everything in Haymarket that I needed, I had minimal time to get back to the train which was leaving at 2:10pm. I walked to North Station. I was in an exploring mood so I took a different street that runs parallel to the normal street I take. I am walking briskly when a man screams out "HEY!!" I am caught off guard. I look at him trying to place how it is that I know him. I do a quick top to bottom once over and it isn't until I see his shoes that I know who it is.

It's the guy from the train station back in February! The homeless guy who was going to kill himself after he relished his last meal, a slice of pizza. He sat next to me that day by chance. I told him that there is light at the end of the tunnel and that I really hoped he didn't take his life.

I look back up at him standing in the street. He's got a brand new jacket, is holding a cell phone and has gel in his hair. I smile at  him "Hi there! How ARE you??" I am so excited to see that he is alive!!

"You remember me right? I had... " he looks around to see a few people walking by "pizza next to you a while back"

"How could I forget? I am so glad you're ok! How are things panning out?" I reply.

"You were right. I can't thank you enough for just talking to me. I have my room at the shelter. I am working part time. I have my own cell phone again. Thank you! You heading to the train?"

"I am. Catching the 2:10" I say with a huge smile on my face.

"You better run. I'm glad I bumped into you. I can't thank you enough. I was in a bad place and you, a strang-ah pulled me through. Thank you."

"No problem! I knew you had it in you! I'm glad I bumped into you too. Enjoy your weekend." I wanted to cry with tears of joy. HE IS ALIVE! HE IS OK! I was so happy I practically skipped the rest of the way to the train!

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Fish out of Water

Last nights ride home on the commuter rail was the bumpiest ride I have had on a train and it seemed like my seat had extra springs in it because I was bouncing all over the place. I bounced around the entire ride home feeling like I was on a school bus from when I was in the sixth grade. Although, what differed from the sixth grade school bus and the commuter rail was that in the sixth grade I had my "cool friends" in my seat with me and on the commuter rail I had a strange man asleep next to me snoring and flopping around like a fish out of water each time we hit a bump. Thank goodness he didn't land on me! That would have been awkward!

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Bear of a Date

Last night as I am going from the T at North Station to the Commuter Rail at North Station I see this man wearing a Bruins Jersey and a foam bear head over his head. He is with his buddy who is wearing a matching Bruins Jersey except his buddy is not stupid enough to wear a foam bear head over his face. They are waiting outside for the game. They are excited with anticipation. The guy with the bear head on picks up his phone “Hello?...Oh yes, we are outside. We’ll come meet you inside.” He hangs up the phone and turns to his friend “They are inside. Let’s go meet them.”

They turn to head inside and happen to now be right in front of me. They open the door and spot two young ladies. They both go up to them and introduce themselves. They are on a double blind date! Who the heck wears a foam bear head over his head when meeting a date for the first time? I’d be horrified if my potential date came up to me with a foam bear head on. There was a slight slit-slash-opening in it so you could see his face a bit but still…when meeting a blind date, do not wear a foam bear head on your head. I don’t care if you are at a Bruins game. You look like a fool and will freak her out! Maybe break that bad boy out on the second date or NEVER! I dunno. You decide.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Snakes on the Train

PETA has asked the MBTA for permission to do an advertising campaign that would hang snakes from the top of trains for a week coiling them around the poles and handles. This is to raise awareness on the cruelty snakes endure in order to become our hand bags, wallets, belts and shoes.

The MBTA has thankfully turned it down stating “In the interest of customers' safety and comfort, the MBTA does not permit advertisers to hang objects from the ceilings and handrails of subway cars.” – Joe Pesaturo
First of all PETA, hanging rubber snakes from the top of the train is not going to make me feel any endearment toward these creatures. It would make me hide under a seat until I heard “
State Street
. Doors open on the Left” in the morning and “North Station. Doors open on the right.” In the evening. I don’t care how crazy people thought I was, and perhaps they’d blog about me, but that would creep me out to have a snake in my ear while I’m trying to keep my balance!
So, thanks MBTA! I am truly glad I will not have a rubber snake as part of my commute during the running of this campaign.

Monday, April 2, 2012

Eight Dollars!

Friday I get on the commuter rail to head home and I over hear a girl on the phone saying “Can you believe this guy? I mean seriously!” I perk up to listen because I assume she is talking about a date gone wrong. “I buy the guy breakfast and he doesn’t even say thank you.” My immediate thought was that this guy spent the night with her, she pays for breakfast and he ditches out. “What a loser!” I think to myself. I am equally as angry at this guy as she is.

She goes on. “I walk by him and he asks me for change. I told him I didn’t have anything but I had a gift card to Dunkin’s and I’d buy him breakfast.” She pauses to let the other person speak. “He told me to give him the gift card and he’d go himself. Then I said ‘There is thirty bucks left on that thing. I’m not just handing it to you. I’ll go with you.” The two of them, I assume head off to Dunkin’s. She carries on her story “I obviously let him order. He orders a coffee and sandwich. I assume he’s done but then he orders a donut and a juice. He totally took advantage of me. That’s like two breakfasts not one. I almost cut him off but that would be rude. It’s not like I can be like ‘OK, you got a sandwich and coffee. You’re done.’ So, I pay for breakfast with my card. Eight dollars! Eight dollars, I paid for this guy to have breakfast and the guy doesn’t even say thank you! Can you believe him? He full on took advantage of me.” So, the guy is homeless. Now I feel bad for being angry at him.

I am floored at how ridiculous this girl sounds. I turn around to see what she looks like. She is tastefully dressed and sporting a beautiful brand new Vera Bradley hand bag. I know I shouldn’t judge a book by its cover but it looked like she was doin’ alright for herself.

She keeps repeating over and over “Eight dollars. All I wanted was a thank you!”

Now, here is my logic on this. Yes, the homeless guy should have said thank you. However, this woman offered to do something nice for someone. I think that when you offer to do something nice for someone, it is out of the goodness of your heart and you shouldn’t expect anything in return for it. He probably did take advantage of her just a bit but in the grand scheme of things, what is eight dollars to her? He was probably thirsty, wanting something with substance, something sweet and needed caffeine all at once.

I am all for doing nice things for people who are in need. I don’t always expect a thank you or anything in return. However, I don’t like becoming a door mat either. In this instance, I think she could have chalked it up to a pay-it-forward experience and learned from it (after all, she did use a gift card someone else probably gave her). Not everyone is going to say thank you whether it be that they forget to say it at the sight of food and all they can think about is eating or they just have too much pride. Either way, I am sure it was appreciated and she could have taken away from this the satisfaction of making someone’s morning and taking the “how am I going to eat today?” worry out of this poor guys head.