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Friday, May 31, 2013

New Train

Last night, the MBTA must have felt so badly about leaving us stranded on the tracks that they upgraded our train for our commute home. Either that or the nonworking train in question from Wednesday night, hasn't been fixed yet.

The new train was a sweet new double decker. It was great and seemed very efficient. It was soo efficient that you couldn't even hear the A/C. We usually have the A/C to muffle out conversations. However, since it was so quiet all around us on the train, it felt like everyone else was listening to our conversation. We'd say something funny and I'd see a smile off in the distance from someone listening in. I am glad we are entertaining. It does get boring on the train when you don't have head phones, a good book or a good friend to chat with.

Happy Friday Everyone!!

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Stalled on the Train Tracks and We’re Not Moving

Yesterday was a fun time on my way home. I get to the 5:30 train and find my seat. A professional man sits down next to me. We head out on our merry way on the express train. They make the announcement “Anderson Woburn Anderson!” Everyone gets up and starts heading down the aisle toward the door when all of a sudden the train stops dead.

“The train has stalled but it will be just a few minutes and we will be back up and running.” Says the conductor. Everyone remains in their place since it will only be a few minutes.

“Again. Just a few minutes. We apologize for the delay.” He says to keep us from getting irritated but it’s too late.

The air conditioning has remained on during this entire time we were stalled. However, right after that announcement, the battery must have run out of juice because all the power goes dead. The conductor gets on the loud speaker again “Clearly, the train is dead. We apologize for the delay.”

People standing start talking about attempting to walk along the side of the train track to the station stop. It’s not that far. However, the conductors put a stop to that quickly. How dangerous is that? Seriously people!

The guy next to me is irritated and starting to sweat. He starts by loosening his tie. Then he decides to take the tie off. Then he starts unbuttoning his button down shirt. He then, whips off his shirt and is down to his undershirt. Awesome! Because this isn’t awkward!

A conductor opens our door to our car and goes “Wooooo it is like a sauna in here! You do realize your car is the worst?” Thanks for the kind words of comfort buddy. That was great.

“Amtrak is going to come behind us and push us in to Anderson. For those of you going beyond Anderson, please get off and take the next train.” A conductor says over the loud speaker.

At this point, the 5:50pm train hasn’t passed us so there is hope that we can get into that one seamlessly. Directly after the thought crossed my mind I hear “Toot Toot Toot!” from afar. I believe it’s the Amtrak that’s going to push us in. All of a sudden a commuter rail train blows by us still tooting it’s horn on the other rail. There goes the 5:50pm train!

Everyone sighs pretty much in unison. This is so discouraging. The train after the 5:50pm train will not go to where I need it to go. So, I’d have to catch the train after that. Not happy! And neither is everyone else!

Loud speaker comes on again “That is the 5:50pm train. They have been instructed to wait for us while we get pushed in and if you are going further, you will get on that train.” Everyone seems a little less pissed at this point.

We feel a bump and the Amtrak train is connected and we are creeping into Anderson Woburn Station. Once we get to the platform safely, we disembark the train and cross over and hop onto the other one. A/C is on full blast! Loud speaker comes on “If you are in a three seater and the middle seat is open, slide over. We will be at double the capacity.” I look around and no one moves! No one! We are in a time of commuter crisis and no one is willing to scooch in. I find a two seater and plop down on the end. I grab my book from my bag and continue reading where I left off. The doors close with everyone on and we’re packed but we were moving!

I got to my stop about an hour later than usual. I rushed home and poured myself a glass of wine. After all, it was wine Wednesday.

Friday, May 24, 2013

Memorial Day Kick Off

This morning, since I am leaving work early, I decided to take an earlier train to work. I sit in my seat and at the next stop, a guy sits down next to me. He smells! Ya know that "I went drinking last night and am sweating it out my pours today" smell. Ya! That's the one. It was so gross. It looks like someone started their memorial day a tad bit early. I sat there reading my book trying to take in the smell of my french vanilla coffee.

I get to the office and explain what happens to a few of the guys. One tells me that in his college days, he was on a Grey Hound Bus with his buddies and they were in a similar state. The girls on the bus handed back their magazines with perfume strips and instructed the guys to rub the strip all over them. To which the guys obliged. He said didn't care if he smelled like a girl, it was better than that hungover smell.

So, I guess I will be carrying magazines with me. Particularly ones with perfume strips and especially near long weekends!

Have a great memorial day everyone!!

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Sacajawea Coins and Morons

Remember these prized people with no tire tread? Tire Tread Mandatory

Well, not only was I running behind this morning, I get stuck behind these people once again. They are doing a whopping 25mph in a 30mph zone! Annoying and unacceptable if you ask me! They then, round a corner and slow down! I see a donut on the back tire of their car. Looks like they finally wore through one of the tires.

I wind behind them all the way to the train station. Once they pull in, they stop dead! I am in a dilemma here, I want to lay on my horn at these complete idiots because I have to get by so that I can park. They, on the other hand are just waiting for the train and the driver is leaving after she drops off the passenger. I don't want to look like a jerk to all the people on the platform so I don't lay on my horn but these people definitely deserve a good horn blow. I manage to get around them and look over to give them a "You are a f*cking idiot" stare. I notice they have Dunkin Donuts iced coffees. Oh good! Why don't you lay off the coffees for a week and buy yourself a damn tire. Morons!

Anyway, I park in the first spot I see that I can fit in, AKA along the back by the fence where no one else parks. I grab my stuff and start folding my dollars (note to self, start getting $1 Sacajawea coins). I run toward the platform, shove my money in the slot and make it just in time to board the train. Phew! Happy Hump Day.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Clammy Hand Holding with Strangers on the T

Do you ever hop on the T and grab the pole and hang on for dear life so you don’t fall over? I definitely do. The other night on my way to North Station, I hopped on the train and grabbed the pole by the door. Some lady put her hand above mine on the pole. Well, she must have either put on lotion or her hand was sweating. I kept my hand in one place. Her hand, however, kept slipping down over mine as if she was trying to hold my hand. Clearly, I am not into hand holding with middle aged strange women so I move my hand down. Her hand creeps onto mine again. I move my hand down again and guess what...her hand finds mine again! I finally can’t go any lower, I get irritated and move my hand to the over head railing. Luckily I am tall enough to reach it!

So people, when you are holding the pole on the train, be aware of where you hand is and where it is going! Holding hands with clammy stranger’s palms is not everyone’s cup of tea. Thanks!

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Crop Dusting on Escalators

Are escalators included in public transit because I’m gonna talk about them today? I went to DSW in Down Town Crossing on my break today. If you’ve been to that DSW in particular, you know that the escalator ride to the top is a rather long one. I get on and there is a rather large man in front of me wearing a green polo that is tucked into his dad jeans and he is sporting sweet (sarcasm) shiny white New Balance dad shoes. I am breathing normally when all of a sudden I am choking on the most awful fart smell I have ever smelled. The culprit, and only other person on the escalator is the guy in front of me!

So, if you are on an escalator, hold it! You can’t go crop dusting your way up to the top because the person behind you has no choice but to go through your wafting stench! That is all and enjoy this beautiful day.  

Monday, May 13, 2013

Chivalry and Murphy’s Law

On Friday, since I was making a fruit platter for about 75 people, I had this brilliant idea that I would bring in my suit case and load it up at Haymarket. Friday morning, when I arrived at the train station, I wheeled my very light bag over to the boarding area to wait. Once the train got there, a guy next to me grabbed my luggage out of my hand and carried it up the steep three steps. He commented on how light it was and asked me which car I was going in. Since he was going in a different car than me, he gave me my bag back.

I wheeled my bag to a seat and I was ready to put it in the over heard and another guy lifts it up for me and puts it in the over head rack for me. I say “Thank you.” and sit down.

When I arrive at North Station, I wasn’t planning on walking but I see a friend I walk with every once and a while and he was going to walk and I decide to join him. He offered to take my bag too and walk it eight-tenths of a mile to the Financial District.

I am happy and hopeful that later in the day, upon my return, I am as lucky as I was that morning.

I enlist the help of an office buddy to head to Haymarket with me and we shop away and pile all sorts of pineapples and melons into the suitcase. The 3 cartons of strawberries and six pounds of grapes, cherries, 5 kiwi’s and 8 Apricots were decided precious cargo and we carried in a separate bag. Between the two of us, we get all the fruit back to the office.

I leave the office…

I have my purse, my work bag, my suit case and a large reusable grocery bag. I don’t dare take this kind of weight to the T and down two flights of stairs and then up another huge flight of stairs so I decide to walk eight tenths of a mile.

I look like a freakin’ bag lady! Good thing I have chic luggage and have on a cute casual Friday outfit or I might have looked like I live on the streets!  Maybe my husband was right when he told me I couldn’t get a coolie cart…but my chic clothing would have been a dead give away that I wasn’t in fact a street person and I promised that if I got a coolie cart, I’d bedazzle the sh*t out of it so people don’t think I’m homeless but to no avail, he is still against the coolie cart.

Anyway, I walk…and I walk…and I walk! No one offers to help my damsel in distress self now that the luggage is heavy. I get to the station and wait for my train.  Once I board the train, I am psyched to see we have one of the new double deckers. I get on and realize I have to go up a little set of steps or down a little set of steps. I chose to go down. I look at the over head rack, it is made for work bags…not luggage. I don’t want to look like an a*shole putting my bag lady baggage on the seat so I look and look for a way out of being an a*s. I see they have seats with tables. I wheel my luggage over there and shove everything under it. FEW!! That was close.

I read my book at my table until I need to get off the train. Once we arrive at my stop, I grab all my bag lady crap and head to the stairs. Guys look at me and I smile but not one offered to grab my bag up the stairs. What the heck?! I finally get off the train and drag all my prized fruit to my truck. I head home so I can start my ninja training as a fruit chopper.

So, Murphy’s law got me…when I didn’t need the help and could manage just fine, I got all the help I needed and when I needed the help and was struggling juuuust a bit, no one helped at all.

All in all though, it was nice to have the fresh fruit and my fruit tray came out a success.

Friday, May 10, 2013

Taking Responsibility For Your Own Actions

Last night after work, I went over to the Mandarin Oriental for the Tiffany & Co. Showcase. It was fabulous! I sipped Prosecco while “Ohhing” and “Ahhing” over the stunning jewels. I left there at about 7:10pm to catch my train home out of North Station at 7:30pm.

I walked down to Copley Station, I put my card in the reader and as I did, a trolley pulled up. I hopped on the green line heading toward Lechmere and I figured I was all set to make my train out of North Station since google maps estimated my trip to take 15 minutes.

There is a woman talking on the phone across from me. She tells the person to hold on because she has another call. She clicks over and answers. The trolley stops, the doors open. No one gets off and then it dawns on this woman that this is her stop. She tells the person on the phone to hold on. As she gets to the door, the doors close and she starts yelling at the engineer. “HEY!! HEY!! This is my stop! HEY!!” He doesn’t hear her and she goes running to the front. The train starts to take off and then, once she gets to the front, the train stops. However, we are already in the tunnel.

We wait…and we wait…and we wait! I have no idea what is going on because I can’t hear her or the conductor. I can just see her doing her diva “Oh no you didn’t” Snaps and hand gestures.

Finally after a while, she comes stampeding down the aisle and sits back down in her seat. She returns to the person on the phone “I missed my stop! Did you hear that? OMG! I have to get off at the next one now. I can’t believe he didn’t let me off after the doors closed.” I just thought to myself “There is another person who is at fault yet won’t take accountability for their actions. Idiot!”

She gets off at the next stop and I look at the clock. I am definitely pushing it. It’s going to be close. I change my shoes from stilettos to flats while I’m on the T so that if I have to run, I can.

We pull into North Station at 7:32pm. I missed my train by two minutes! Two minutes!! Thanks a lot lady for pitching a fit because you’re an idiot and missed your stop. Had we not sat in the tunnel FOREVER, I would have made my train (And yes, I know I am not taking “accountability” here but this isn’t my fault. I would have soo made it had she not had a hissy fit and made the T stay put in the tunnel while she screamed at the driver.)

I sat in North Station for the next hour until the 8:30pm train arrived. I caught up on Facebook, made a few phone calls and actually got a chance to admire my parting gift from the Tiffany’s event so I guess it wasn’t all that bad.  

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Revolving Door Etiquette

Screw talking about the train today. Let’s talk about revolving door etiquette. Shall we?

Revolving doors are tricky! They go against all manners men and women are taught. The man goes first. ‘Why?’ might you ask. Well, because the person in the front is the one pushing the door so it is thought that men should push through the door and a woman would walk gracefully through.

That being said, MEN… When you go first in the revolving door, don’t go round and round like a speed demon! Either go slow or make sure the woman behind you (or person behind you for that matter) is properly in the door slot.

Case in point: I head out to grab an iced tea and a froyo on this beautiful day. The guy in front of me sees me and goes in the door and starts pushing. I think to myself “Finally someone who knows proper revolving door etiquette.” I then hop in to my slot but while I am doing that, he takes off like a bat out of hell and my purse and my arm get stuck in the revolving door. I am instantly pissed! “HEY!! HEY!!! MY ARM!!!!” I scream at him.

He turns around. Rolls his eyes at ME and then pushes the door back in my direction. Once I am situated in the door, he pushes again. He gets to the outside before me. Turns around and looks at me again and shakes his head and leaves before I even get out of the door. What an A*S! I am no longer impressed that you know proper revolving door etiquette and am starting to think it was only by default that you were correct. I am guessing you were being a self centered a*s who just wanted to go first and rush through the door. GRR!

Thankfully, I was on my way to meet a friend for froyo and iced tea and forgot about how much my arm hurt!

Monday, May 6, 2013

Roller Blading to the Train

Remember the good old 90's when everyone owned a pair of roller blades and it was cool to be seen roller blading along the Charles, at the beach and so on? Well, today for a brief moment, the 90's were back except, roller blades are so not cool anymore! I don't believe I have seen anyone cool on roller blades in about 15 years. I have seen people on roller blades, like for instance, the creep in my hometown whom, I assume got a DWI and uses those suckers as his mode of transportation and stalks local parks (the original El- Creep-O). However, today, some guy is trying to make a comeback with these things as his mode of transportation to the train station.

I am reading my book and out of the corner of my eye I see a guy come to a screeching halt outside the train. He bends over to take off his shoes? I look again. He is bending over to take off his roller blades! The train is almost fully boarded and he realizes that he isn't close enough to the door. He wheels his way a little further and bends down again. He starts to panic as the conductor starts closing up. He whips off those bad boys. Apparently, he already knows he can't board the train with them on so he must have done this before. He has bright white tube socks. Those suckers just got ruined as he had to walk a few steps to the train and board with no shoes on. He walks down the dirty aisle in his bright white socks and finds a seat.

When we disembarked the train, he had finally put his sneakers on and his oh-so-90's-cool roller blades were strapped together and hanging from his bag.

Who has roller blades anymore and do you use them?