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Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Slow Moving Bruins Fans

Yesterday I had to leave the office early. I gave myself a head start because there was a Bruins playoff game happening later in the evening at the garden. As I was walking to North Station, I had successfully avoided getting stuck behind tourists and by the time I was about two blocks away, it is a possibility to make an even earlier train than the one I was trying to catch! I pick up my pace a little bit and am psyched I will make an earlier train. Now, one block away, I am totally pumped, I will make the 4:40 train!!

All of a sudden, out of absolutely nowhere, a couple pushing a baby stroller, moving at the same pace of a snail, is in front of me. Brakes on! I go on the street to speed around them but just as I do, a car pulls up for valet and cuts me off. I hop back on the side walk behind the snails and get around the car. Hop back in the street and start to run. I can see North Station. I get to the cross walk where all the tourists just stop. Um, I never stop at that cross walk. If you don’t just walk into it, you are not getting across. You have to be aggressive.

I throw myself into the crosswalk and a tourist sporting a brand new Bruins jersey yells out “This chick has some balls!” Traffic stops abruptly and the tourists all follow me. I start running once I am through the crosswalk and another guy in non-Bruins gear does the same thing. We are neck and neck. We burst through the doors and look up at the screen. Track two! Track two is all the way on the other side. We continue running since it is 4:39 and we totally can make it. We get to the track and I see the train pulling away. The guy continues running alongside the train trying to plead with the conductor to let him jump on. I know I don’t have a shot so I hastily turn around and go find a seat. Now I have to wait a half an hour. I shouldn’t be mad because the next train was the train I was shooting for but the very fact that I missed this one by the skin of my teeth just irritates me.

As I am sitting, I realize that I am super hot and practically overheating. I take off my suit jacket because I just power walked-slash-ran an eighth of a mile in crazy amounts of humidity. I am totally sweating. I never sweat. A guy sits down next to me on the bench as I am sweating and catching my breath. I look up to see the guy I was running with come walking by. “They left early!” he says to me. “By a good thirty seconds!” I scream back as he’s still walking.

A short time later the guy next to me grabs all his stuff, gets up and walks away. I take a deep breath. “Jeez! Do I smell?” I think to myself. I don’t smell anything.  “Nah! He just needed a better view of the train board. My sweat smells like roses!” OK! Maybe it doesn’t but I’m just gonna tell myself that so my self-esteem isn’t crushed completely.

I finally start to catch my breath and cool down a little bit. I want to open my seltzer. I grab the bottle and then stop myself. “You just ran with this. Do you really need a seltzer bath?” I slowly put my seltzer in my bag. When I look up the snails are standing in front of me. “YOU!” I think to myself as I immediately start giving them my death stare.

The snails don’t even notice that I am staring them down. They are too busy being in “aw” of North Station, the beer garden and everything else going on around them. Great! Now I am sweating, catching my breath still and giving them the stink eye. I probably look like my grandmothers one eyed-asthmatic cat. I quickly compose myself and grab my blackberry. When all else fails, grab the blackberry! Even if you are just scrolling through facebook, you still look “important”! I scroll and scroll and scroll. Finally the 5:10 train is called and I finally board the train.

Just another day on the commuter rail my friends. Just another day!

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Parking at the Train Station- Lost My Temper

Let’s use common sense people! Seriously! When you parallel park, you need to look before you abruptly drive out of your space. Just sayin’!

Last night, after getting off the train, I walk to the parking lot and hop in my car just as everyone else that just got off the train did. Since I have a large-a*s automobile and the car in front of me didn’t leave yet, I had to back out of my spot. Ok, let me rephrase that, I eased out of my spot checking a million times for other vehicles and/or pedestrians. I get out of my spot no problem and round the corner. As I am approaching the exit, some a*s-hat decides that he doesn’t have to look before he pulls out of his parallel parking spot. He almost side swipes me with his little sh*t box. Now, in a previous post I mentioned I am not one to lay on my horn because I have to see these people every single day and my vehicle isn’t exactly inconspicuous. Well, let me tell you, I laid on that horn with an “if looks could kill” face.

This kid seems unphased by my horn and keeps going. I, because I have the right of way since I was already DRIVING, didn’t stop! I kinda-sorta just keep on driving while still laying on my horn. Everyone is looking at me because from the driver side, it looks like I am just laying on my horn for my health. No one can see the little plastic roller skate next to me. This idiot decided not to stop. He weasels his way in front of me and then, without looking, pulls into traffic. The car he cuts off stops abruptly and I turn and look at the person. They wave me to go and I go and am on this kids bumper! I see him in his side view mirror with both hands on the wheel and a blank face staring forward. Perhaps he only sees my mean a*s grill on my truck and doesn’t realize that the truck is driven by a little lady dressed head to toe in pink and isn’t going to do anything to him aside from put her trucks grill about an inch away from his plastic bumper. Although, his vehicle is made of 100% plastic so maybe he is afraid my huge chrome grill will crush his plastic car into a million pieces.

He peals out to make another turn into traffic and once again, the person he pulled in front of, waves me to go since they were turning into the street I was pulling out of. I shift through my gears to gain speed, and catch up, letting the RPMs get up to about 4000 in between shifts. I NEVER do that and I am surprising myself. I don’t usually get THIS pissed off about someone almost side swiping me. However, when you are just THAT stupid, I just can’t help it.

When we reach the end of the road, it splits. He crosses into oncoming traffic to go left at the split. Then, without looking he makes another left into oncoming traffic and cuts off a tow truck. That’s it for me. I am done. I am not following that idiot but I think I may have given him a bit of a scare and that’s all that counts.

So people seriously, use your common sense. Don’t you think that if you arrive at a parking lot at the same time as a large amount of people from the train…or a sporting event…or a concert… or whatever, that you should probably check in all directions before pulling out of your parking spot? It’s just a thought people!

Friday, June 7, 2013

Back Flips on the T

Why of why can't these guys be on the Orange the morning...particularly heading to Forest about 8:13am. I would even take 5:05pm on the Orange Line heading to Oak Grove. Either one is fine with me! I would love some entertainment for a few stops...ANNDD for putting their lives in danger, I would definitely throw them some cash. Apparently, this kind of train-breakdancing isn't legal buuut, I'd totally sit and get out of their way and chance getting wacked in the head with a sneaker if it meant I could see these guys in action. Happy Friday everyone!!

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

A Nail Biting Cab Experience

I have been in New York City the last couple of days. Last night I had to catch an evening flight at JFK. I hailed a cab at about 5:30pm and was ready to go to JFK in the middle of rush hour traffic. To get to JFK on a good day… without traffic is about an hour. I would like to point that out now.

After hopping in the cab I make certain that the cab driver knows I will be paying with a credit card. I don’t want any surprises when I get to JFK. He says that’s fine and off we go. We go through a tunnel and get off the highway in Queens. It’s a long stretch of stop lights. At this point my cabby is just weaving and I am getting a little nauseous but not too bad. I crack open a soda to try and calm my stomach.

All of a sudden someone cuts us off and we come to a screeching halt. We then speed up and tailgate this lovely cutter-offer-person. We then find ourselves at a stop light. I am now popping gum because I heard that mint also settles your stomach. All of a sudden, the driver throws the car in park and opens his door, get’s out and leaves it open. I am in the middle of Queens. This is a place where there are bars on the ground floor windows. I am freaking out! Is someone going to hop in and take off with me in the car? Why oh WHY doesn’t TSA let you travel with pepper spray so long as you are sweet and innocent and promise to only use it to defend yourself? I am feeling pretty defenseless right now.

The cabby goes up to the car that previously cut us off and b*tches him out. The other guy gets out of his car and they look like they are about to get into a brawl. Again, I am freaking out and popping more gum and chugging my soda in hopes I just calm the heck down. Now I am having thoughts like “What if I get stranded in Queens?” “Will I have to figure out how to take the bus?” “Can you hail a cab in Queens at rush hour?” All of a sudden the light turns green. They don’t realize until all the cars around start honking. They quickly get back in their respective vehicles and they are off.

It is ON! It’s a battle and they both think they are Mario Andretti. What the heck did I get myself into? We are doing zero to 80 and back to zero in a matter of a few hundred feet. I yell to the cabby “I just may be sick!!” He rolls down my window and tells me in broken English “You be fine!” The cabby is so determined to beat this guy at rush hour racing that he just doesn’t care if I yak all over the back seat of his car.

Finally we get back on to the highway but first, the cabby decides to cut across a few lanes with out looking, to do it. He almost hits two motor cycle street bikes. One sped up to get by us and the other, thankfully was able to hop over to another lane. That really pissed me off! I have a family of motorcycle riders! Drivers of vehicles need be careful in the summer months and make sure they check every where before changing lanes or making turns.

We go through a toll now. I notice he pays cash. He then turns to me and says that I can pay credit card for the ride but needs to be cash for the toll charge. I told him that we agreed to credit card when I got in and that’s how I’d pay. I had cash but wasn’t about to cooperate with this maniac. “Fine. You add it to my tip then.” I’m thinking “You think you are getting a tip? HA! That’s cute.”

We continue on the free way in his normal floor-it-only-to-slam-on-the-breaks-later method of driving. I am shocked as hell I haven’t lost my lunch yet. I finally see signs for the airport and manage to mutter a “Thank you God!” under my breath. He asks what airline I was using. “American Airlines!” I say.

Well, American Airlines is a few terminals in. We blow through a few terminals and he doesn’t bother to stop for anyone in the cross walks. In fact, a few people saw him coming at full speed and scattered out of our way. As we drove by with my window down, I feel like the jerk and mouthed “Sorry!” to the people who had just crossed and were staring down the cab.

We finally pull up to the curb and I swipe my card and enter his “tip” manually. I make sure he has my luggage out of the trunk before I get out of the car. I take my luggage and look at my phone for the time. We made it to the airport in UNDER 50 minutes in RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC!! Like I said, this guy is a maniac!

I take a moment to get my bearings and make sure I am not gonna puke before walking by the only trash can I can see. I head inside, get through security and find a cute bistro where I plop myself at the bar, order a glass of Riesling and an artisan cheese plate and I am instantly calmed. Thank goodness that was over with!