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Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Fist Full of Hair

I'm ordering lunch in the concourse of Grand Central. After I pay, I am tugged back by my hair. Some weirdo behind me had a fist full of my hair and was smelling it. Um, get your f*cking nose out of my hair! I don't know youuuuu!

That is all! New York, I still love you!

Monday, May 16, 2016

Lock the Fekking Door

Omg! Omfg! I'm heading to New Jersey today on the Amtrak. As we approach Penn Station, I decide I should pee before everyone gets off, everyone gets on. I run back to the restroom and see that the light is not on so I open the door wide open. What do I find? What the fek to I find? Oh I'll tell you what I found. I found a woman buck a*s naked bending over trying to get something off the floor with her a*s hanging out in the breeze staring right at me! Oh but not only I saw this... the seats facing the bathroom door also got a show and were dying with laughter. I slammed the door so quickly that it flew open again and so I, being my good self ran after the rogue door and closed it again for her. I don't even know if she realized what was going on because there was zero effort to cover up her a*s flapping in the train breeze!

A man came out of the other restroom and I flew in there so fast to avoid a run in with this woman just hanging out for all to see. I took my time in there so that I wouldn't have to see her and when I came out, the people in the cheap seats to the bare a*s show instructed me the coast was clear and I b-lined it back to my seat!

Happy Monday Y'all!!