Don't be Stupid, Clueless or Lack Courtesy

In case you haven't seen them at your train station, here is how I have to pay to park at my train station in the morning. You park in the parking spot. It is labeled with a number and then you have to go to this big box and find your number. At that number is a slot and you have to drop in $4 dollars. It can be cash or coins. Every day I count out $4 ones before leaving my drive way and put them with my coffee. When I get to the station I fold up my four bills into eighths so I can easily throw them in the slot. Since everyone in the parking lot needs to put their money in this way, it's courteous to get your money in the slot and go!

Some people either are stupid, lack courtesy or are completely clueless on how this parking box works. I will take the time to fill those in on how to pay so they don't continually piss people off like someone did to me recently. 

I get to the train station, I have minimal time to get to the landing before the train comes and I have some idiot in front of me paying out of a baggy of coins. He is taking nickles, dimes, quarters...even pennies to pay for his parking! I get it. Money is money! BUT COUNT IT OUT BEFORE YOU GET TO THE PAY STATION! Simple!

I hear the bell chiming which means the train is coming. I am of course irritated that someone can be so stupid. I interrupt him. "Excuse me! I'm going to put this in my slot now!" I say before I forget which parking spot I actually parked in. He looks up confused. Then looks behind me at the line that has now formed because he decided to count out his change at the pay station as he put it in the slot. He steps out of the way and we all plow over him to put our money in. We all go to the landing and he is still counting out his money. He probably did make the train. However, had I not spoken up, I doubt the line of us behind him would have made it.

So, please don't be stupid, clueless or lack courtesy! Count your money out in your car so you can toss it in the slot like everybody else does. Please and thank you!

Oh Great! The Mafia at 11pm!

Last night I went to meet a friend in Jamaica Plain. We grabbed drinks and played some good old trivia. It was so much fun but all good things must come to an end and I was heading on my way back home. I got on the Orange Line at Stony Brook and was heading to Sullivan Square. A few stops into my little journey, a man hops on with a nice pea coat and a stylish hat. He looks at me. It was almost 11pm and I just never know on the T so I look away.

I was sporting a fedora and the man gets closer to me “That is a great hat!” I look up and reply “Thanks! I was admiring yours too.” I wanted to ignore him but when you ignore people they tend to get mad and cause scenes so to pacify him I just talked.

“You have great taste.” He says as he points to my hat, jacket, purse and work bag with his index finger like 1,2,3,4. “Why thank you!” I reply and kinda look away hoping he would get the hint.

“You should get off at Back Bay with me and get a drink at the Plaza.” He says. I look up at the board and Back Bay is the next stop. “No thank you.” I respond. I look at his left hand. He’s married! What a jerk. (I have gloves on so he can’t see my ring).

“Back Bay!” the conductor screams. Few! Saved by the conductor.

He turns to me as he’s got one foot on the platform and one foot still in the train “If you ever change your mind and wanna meet up, go to the North End. The Cornah Store. Ask for me. Everybody knows me! Everybody ovah there knows me!”

Great! He’s probably mafia! Just great! Now I’m glad I didn’t ignore him. Don’t wanna piss those guys off…

Just Another Rainy Tuesday

This morning as I get to the train station, I have my umbrella open and stand on the platform and wait for the train. A woman who is shorter than me, who doesn't have an umbrella, unbeknownst to me, crouches in behind me to share my umbrella. The train comes and I have to take my umbrella down so that I can board. When I do, I think I am the only one under the umbrella and rightly so, who the hell jumps under a strangers umbrella with out being invited? I bring the umbrella down to close it. I whack the woman who is also under my umbrella. "Watch it! Jesus!" the woman yells at me. I look around and realize that there is no one else around me so why is she so close. Then I realize she was kinda crouched up against my back pack and realize that she was infringing upon MY no rain zone space because she is either too cheap to buy her own umbrella or too absent minded to remember hers. I apologize even though I know she was sneakily behind me under my umbrella. "Well be careful next time!" I give her a dirty look because I know if I open my mouth pre-coffee, I just might say something mean like "There won't be a next time because I don't let strangers share my umbrella." or "I only apologized because I was being nice but you were the one in my space." But because I know better, I kept quiet and boarded the train. Why do people feel entitled to strangers things (even if it is a foot and a half of dry space)? And is it just me, or is it always ugly people that are so darn cranky? Maybe when they aren't being cranky to you, they look fine and normal but the second they start to be impolite, I just see them as ugly in my eyes.

'Tis the Season for Holiday Parties and Drunk Train Rides

‘Tis the season for Holiday Parties and last night seemed to be the night of many holiday parties including mine. I left my holiday party at about 9pm to catch the 9:40 train at North Station. I was on an awkward side of town and would have required me to hop on a bus, hop on the red line and then hop on the orange line. I was all set with trying to figure that out after a few margaritas so I planned on cabbing it. I walked about four blocks before I found an empty cab. I hopped in and had him drop me off at North Station.

When I got to North Station, the train was already boarding. Since it was late at night, only a few train cars were open. I walked all the way down to the first train car that was open and sat in the first seat I could find. Once I sat down, I realized I made a mistake but it was too late to switch my seat.

To the right of me was a white trash drunk couple and to the left of me was a guy who flipped on the Suze Orman show on his laptop sans earbuds. Greaaaat!

Once the train started to move the white trash drunk couple started to make out. The woman was bigger than fat bastard! The guy had a walking cane. I over hear “I’m gonna sexy smack you with my sexy cane!” from the guy. The woman drunk gurgles back “You put that sexy cane away.” As she sprawls out on the seat and he starts necking her. I am quickly losing my buzz.

I try to focus on something else. I am in no condition to read. I’d probably fall asleep and miss my stop if I did that so I whip out my blackberry and start scrolling through my facebook feed. However, I have Suze Orman yapping in my ear “You can’t afford it girl friend! DENIED!”

The conductor comes to check the passes and the white trash drunkin’ sexy cane couple that’s sexy smacking doesn’t even look up. The conductor clears his throat “Tickets and passes please!” They look up all confused. The woman drunk gurgles “We have to pay him.” Sexy cane guy reaches for his wallet and pays. The conductor moves on and they start necking and he starts smacking her with his sexy cane again.

I close my eyes to avoid witnessing this. Then quickly realize that I could fall asleep so I open them again and burry my head in my blackberry once again. Forty five minutes later, I am at my train station and of course the white trash sexy cane couple gets off the train too and is in front of me. I speed pass them even though my feet are killing me from standing at the holiday party in stilettos and walking those blocks before getting a cab but I didn’t care. The faster I walked, the faster I got away from them. I finally got in my truck and sped out of there. I wanted to be sure I got home before these people were behind the wheel.

Be safe and Happy Holidays Everyone!

'Tis the Season to be Giving

Last night I am standing at State waiting to get on the T. It arrives as I am talking to a friend. The train is packed and I am not sure I am going to get on. The time is 5:21pm and I need to catch my train at 5:30pm at North Station. I say to my friend "If I don't get on this, I will miss my train or I'll have to walk." I was fully prepared to walk. There was one tiny little spot for one more person on that train. My friend had gotten on and I was still on the platform. Since I am not a cutter, I let someone that was there before me have the space. He then gave it back to me and said he had time to catch the next T and get to North Station to get his train. I believed him and thanked him. I hopped on the T and was on my way. I made the train with a few minutes to spare. As I am sitting in my seat, I see the guy who gave up his T space so that I could make the train. He was huffing and puffing and as he walked by me, the train shut it's doors and we took off. I couldn't believe it. This guy gave up his spot and he was trying to catch the same train as me! Thank goodness he made the train too.

After seeing what he did for me, I was even more grateful than I already was. 'Tis the season to be giving, even if it's a tiny little spot on the T, it made my evening! They say the best things in life are free... well, there is truth to that. 

Boyfriend Leaves Girlfriend Stranded

Heading home last night, the train stops at Haymarket. A few people get on and one couple stands on the platform looking in. There seems to be room for one of them on the sardine packed train but not both of them. Someone says “We can make room for one more.” And we seem to squish in even tighter to each other making room for the couple. However, the guy gets on and the girl waits for him to get situated before she tries to get on. Well, the doors slam and don’t open. She looks like a lost puppy dog and in shock.

“You left me here! All by myself! You just left me!” she screams to him through the door. He screams back “You’ll be fine! Just one stop! ONE STOP!” The train takes off and he turns to everyone “She’ll be fine. It’s only one stop right?” We all collectively giggle which fades into the normal train silence.

I had to crack up though because this poor woman was just left on the platform all by herself while we had every intention of squeezing her on. Although, the train conductor didn’t seem to think it was necessary to get her on board. I hope she made it to North Station OK!

You Fit the Profile

Heading home last night, I caught the 5:10 train home. I made it to the train at 5:08 and hopped on hoping to find a seat. My new theory is that I am going to take the first available seat I see when it comes to packed trains. This is because if I walk by three seaters with a middle seat open in hopes of finding a two seater with an empty seat, I am sadly mistaken. I will end up sitting in a middle seat at the front of the train or at the back of the train. So, I can walk all the way to the end of the train and sit in a crappy seat and then at my stop have the extra walking to my car for getting off the back of the train or I can sit in the front in the same crappy seat and save myself some walking.

That being said, I come up on a three seater with an empty middle seat. I lean down and ask if I could sit down. The guy looks me up and down and says "You fit the profile! Sit on down!" and he slides right in to the middle seat and lets me have the outter seat.Score! But also strange! He must not be a commuter.

Once I sit down he says "I was holding out for someone like you. I didn't want to be stuck with....ya know..." I knew exactly what "ya know" meant. Someone that's stinky or gonna squish him or worse...both!

As you may be aware by my previous posts, I can't stand stinky people or the larger ones that plaster me up against a window. So, I am self concious. I spray myself with body spray before leaving the office every day and I eat "card board crap" (as my dad would call it) to stay fit. I am please to know that I'm officially not "Ya know!" one of those people you dread sitting next to.

Bad Dye-Slash-Perm Job

This morning I was running behind. I didn't have time to do anything fancy to my hair so I threw it in a braid and ran out the door. I didn't even have time to check it in a mirror. I hate when I have no idea if my hair looks dreadful or not.

I was feeling all frumpy when a woman walks up to the train landing and stands near me. Her hair is short, permed and dyed blond. Her ends look so dead...actually I take that back, it's not just her ends, it's the entire length of her hair since her hair is only an inch and a half long. I felt like screaming, 'This isn't the 90's! You can't perm your hair AND dye it AND wash it with VO5! There are conditioning products out there to give you that healthy hair look!'. However, obviously those are thoughts I need to keep in my head. Instead, I stood beside her thanking her for having a worse hair day than I was having.

Although her bad hair days seem permanent so whenever I know I'm going to have a bad hair day, I will just stand next to her while waiting for the train.

Violins at North Station

Have you heard the violinists at North Station? Oh my goodness they are good! There are two violinists that play at North Station and instead of holiday music that they could be playing, they are playing things like Toxic by Britney Spears and Alien by Katy Perry! It’s great!! I actually just missed the T because it was packed and I couldn’t cram on and was kinda bummed out but then realized that I got to stay another 5 minutes and listen to these delightful violinists.

They are not your typical subway musician. I actually wanted to give them money because they were good. There have been other times where I just want to throw money at other subway musicians and say “If I put this in your bucket, will you please please stop playing that hideous thing you call a recorder?” But not these guys! If you have the opportunity to listen to them they are great! Maybe miss your train and throw them a little cash, there should be another train coming in 5 minutes…if you’re lucky!