Front Row for the Fight!

Last night I went to the BOSTON ATHENÆUM.  I took their art and architecture tour and it was pretty neat. On my way home, I had two options, wait for the commuter rail which was at 7:45pm or I could take the Blue line and hop on the 455 bus which got me home at 7:48pm if I made the bus. I decided to chance it and if all else fails… UBER!

I hop on the Blue line with no problem. I make the connection at Wonderland to the bus. Everything is working out great until we pick up a couple. I am seated against the wall and they decide to sit in the two seats facing forward so that they are staring at me and I can see them out of the corner of my eye. I am reading my new book I REGRET NOTHING so clearly they know I’m a bad a*s in a French burette and ballet flats! OBVIOUSLY…. OK OK, I look like the biggest wimp on that bus but whatever.  (PS My pepper spray is at the top of my purse. I AM going through Lynn … and possibly Revere too… I think but I’m not 100% sure)  

Anyway, this couple starts bickering! I can’t concentrate on my book. I just can’t do it. I must have reread the same freakin’ line a thousand times because I did NOT want to make eye contact! The following you should read Marisa Tomei style from My Cousin Vinny for the girl. The guy should be one of the Butabi Brothers from Night at the Roxbury. AND this is what I listen to for 19 stops:

Butabi boy starts: “Babe! How am I gonna trust you? I saw ON FACEBOOK that you went out with him! I know what I know!”

Marisa replies: “Yes, I went out with him but you knew I was going to. I told you.”

BB: “You checked in with him and made me look like a fool.”

M: “I didn’t think it was a big deal. I don’t want to do anything to screw this up babyyyyyy!”

BB: “You did!”

M: “That’s why you ignored me for two days.”

BB: “I was busyyyyyy.”

M: “I was worried. I didn’t know if something happened to you.”

BB: “If you were so worried, you should have stopped by my work!”

M: “I did. I even called your buddy Donny lookin’ fo’ you!”

BB: “You came to my work? You stalking me?”

M: “I was worrieeeeeeeed!”

BB: “I was busy.”

M: “You could have shot me a text.”

Silence.

M: “ You think I f*cked him don’t you! DON’T YOU! I told you, I aint screwin’ this up babyyy!”

BB: “I do!”

M: “I knew it! I didn’t!”

BB: “What’ll it take to shut you up? What’ll it take? I don’t think that?”

M: “Yee-aaah!”

BB: “Ok! I don’t!”

Silence.

M: “ You know I love you babyyyyyy!”

Annnnd that’s when I hit the stop request in front of my stop and quickly got the hell out of dodge in my burette and ballet flats! However, I’m assuming after I freed up some space and was no longer in their view, they had a stupid make out session until their stop.

Never a dull moment my friends!