STOP F*CKING STALKING ME!

This has nothing to do with the train. NOTHING. BUT, I am venting. Venting about this sh*tty a*s world of dating. I go on a date, he tells me he’s married still and hasn’t filed for divorce. I say, I am not going to date someone still with their WIFE! He wants to be my “friend”.

So, here is my public service announcement:

Please be advised that this is not Nineteen Eighty-What-the-f*ck-ever! Arriving at a woman’s home unannounced in a 1989 Blue Chevy Malibu wearing a trench coat and a boombox is NOT romantic!! NOT AT ALL! It’s creepy…especially if she lives ALONE!

OK, OK… this guy actually, after he text and I responded with “Don’t come over!” and then texts to “call me” and I say I don’t want a conversation tonight, showed up in a white BMW with a dozen roses and a poem and proceeded to ring my doorbell a few times, getting my dog all riled up and flipping out at the doors while I hid in the middle of my house in my guest bedroom because I could easily jump out that window if I had to because I didn’t know what door he was ringing the doorbell from…front or back. I huddled on the guest bed whispering into the phone to my friend as my heart raced. He messaged a little while later that he was leaving me something and he was leaving. I hung up with my friend and since it was 9:30 at night, whatever the heck he left me could wait until the morning! I messaged two other friends and they urged me to call the police which I did. They showed up and surveyed the property. Found my roses and my poem for me and took notes and promised to monitor the house after they left for the rest of the night. Last night, I made sure all my dead bolts were secured, made sure every door and window had the alarm armed and then went to bed with my pepper spray, phone, car keys and a HAMMER under my pillow that my dad got me for Christmas for “home ownership responsibilities” NOT for whacking people…but I didn’t have a Louisville Slugger sooo this was the next best thing. Oh… and my very big dog close by!

The police also called him to tell him to leave me alone. What does he do after that call… message me asking if I’m still up. Clearly I ignored it as he ignored the polices request to leave me the f*ck alone. This morning, I get an “apology text” and I state that I appreciate the apology. However, don’t contact me anymore. What does he do… RESPONDs by putting the blame of my reaction on someone other than himself! Asking me to talk to my friends and family about the situation. BUT to ultimately, do what makes me happy!

Um, ultimately right now what would make me happy is if you get out of my face!

So there you go boys and girls! It’s not romantic! Not even one bit! It’s creepy. It gets the police called and all I wanted last night was to relax! That was all. Instead I got an anxiety attack, police surveying my property and reports to fill out.

Also, what’s the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? That would be… the PRICK is on the inside of the BMW!