Skirts Flying and Burrito Warnings

Yesterday as I was heading to the train, it wasn’t raining too badly so I decided to walk instead of hopping on the T like everyone else. Half way to North Station, I realized that it wasn’t the rain I wanted to avoid, it was the wind. I was holding my umbrella and my hand bag while wearing a dress. Not a pencil, tight dress but one that flows. Well, on windy days you do not want flow-y skirts.

Every time I tried to cross a street, the wind would turn my umbrella inside out and I’d have to reach up and flip it right side out but in doing so, my hand was coming off of my dress as it was holding it down. I walked a mile like this. By the time I got near North Station it was either let everyone see my a*s or save my umbrella. Survival of a city girl I tell ya. I closed my umbrella because it wasn’t worth it but the rain picked up and I was getting pelted. I decided “F*ck it! Let everyone see my a*s!” and opened up my umbrella again. I was fortunate though… no one saw my a*s. The skirt of my dress just swooshed in the wind and luckily didn’t fly up!

I make it to the train and sit down in a seat with this guy on the window. After I sit down and start getting situated he leans in and tells me “I just ate a burrito.” I just look at him like “WTF” he continues. “I just ate a burrito so if you… ahhh… well you’ve been warned!”

F*ck my life! Is he telling me that because he ate a burrito, he is going to stink up this space? Luckily, my allergies are really bad right now and I didn’t smell a thing!

Almost Friday people! Almost Friday!!!

Late Trains and Questionable Fluids

And so it begins. Yesterday the train was late by a half an hour due to mechanical problems. A train, dead on the tracks, got to be pushed in by another train…oh and the people waiting for those trains all stacked up at the train station to wait for the NEEEXXXTTT train to come. A train finally comes and it is standing room only. I get to stand in the aisle and it wasn’t a day I decided to wear comfy commuter shoes.

Today… train late again! Only by 10 minutes. However, had I had a warning notification like the ones I signed up for (on time at least and not after I get to the train), I could have hung with my pooch for another 10 min. Anyway, I get a seat today so that was good news! Today was also an office birthday. I love to bake and created this wonderful cake with a glaze (I love glaze because I suck at frosting things). I take my seat and put my cake on my lap. I think nothing of it because this cake carrier is iron clad. Nothing gets in. Nothing gets out.

We arrive at North  Station and I head to the T because I don’t want to walk a mile with a cake carrier. As I wait for the T, people are looking at my black pencil skirt. Particularly in the direction of my crotch. Um… why?! I look down and realize… F*CK the glaze drizzled and leaked out of the cake carrier and on to my black skirt. It looks… VERY QUESTIONABLE! Use your imagination folks! I panic in my head and then put the cake carrier in front of my skirt to hide the glaze. I want to tell these people “Look at the cake. See the glaze. It’s just glaze! My boyfriend is in China… it can’t even be what you think it IISSSS!” BUT, I keep quiet and hide my glazed skirt.

I board the T and try very hard on a sardine packed train not to lean on anyone. I continue to have my cake carrier in front of me. When I get to State, I b-line off the T and to my office building. I then b-line to the elevator and b-line from the elevator to the bathroom where finally, I can wet a paper towel (on my designer, dry clean only skirt… but it’s my only freakin’ option!) and wipe off most of the glaze. Finally, my skirt is kinda back to normal with a wet spot that I hope to GOD dries nicely and doesn’t ruin the fabric.

Luckily I am the first one in the office and can get settled in before anyone can see my wet skirt. Thankfully, the cake was a huge hit and worth the trouble getting it here! My skirt had also dried by the time cake was served!  

So, what have I learned today? Sign yourself up for a cake decorating class. Had you been able to frost, you wouldn’t have had “the glaze incident”.

Oh No! Put Your Leg Back On!

It’s been a busy few weeks but about a week and a half ago I took the bus home from the airport. It conveniently drops me in front of my door which is awesome!! We get on the train and there is a man with a prosthetic leg. A little kid sits across from him and is staring at it. The man whips his leg off and starts waving it around. “Haven’t you ever seen one before?” he yells to the three year old.

Stunned, the three year old shakes his head no.

The man’s face turns blank while he's flailing his leg about as he is realizing what he has done. He puts his leg back on and lowers his tone. “You see, I went to war 30 years ago. I was shot in the leg and got gang green and now, I have this to help me get around.”

The kid nods and is intrigued. He starts telling his battle stories to him and now they were buddies.

At first I wasn’t sure what to think. I didn’t know if this guy was going to lose it or not but in the end it did melt my heart a little to see him explain to the child what happened instead of being angry. I’m sure the child hadn’t seen that before and I feel by explaining he better understands so that in the future he doesn’t have to stare and wonder, he can look and be compassionate.

Don't Watch Me Pee!

OK, this has nothing to do with the train but it happened in a public place and I’m gonna go with it. So there!

Today, I have had a smoothie and a coffee annnnnd some water so therefore, I have to pee. I run to the ladies room after I throw my work bag down at my desk. There is a girl that is a little awkward that is on my floor that I sometimes run into in the ladies room but I let it go. (Hey, sometimes brilliant people are awkward and that’s ok!) When I get into the ladies room, I am the only one there. I hop in my stall (Yes, I have a stall…I’m a creature of habit!) I hear someone walk in but have no idea who it is until I see an eye ball in the crack between the stall door and the stall (wall?) You know…the crack where it locks. I look at the eye ball and recognize that it’s the awkward girl. “EXCUSE ME!” I say to her.

She runs down to the handicapped stall on the end and just stands in there. I finished up and washed my hands with ninja like speed as thoroughly as I possibly could to get out of there as quickly as possible.

So, let’s go over this… don’t put your damn eye ball up to the crack in the stall and watch someone while they pee! That is ALL!

Bring the Gym to the Train

I guess if you don’t have time to go to the gym, you bring the gym to the train! This morning on the way in, a guy in front of me decides that he is going to do chin ups on the luggage rack. I kept waiting for it to come crashing down but then realized that that thing is built to hold many many bags and a hundred and sixty pound man isn’t going to make it go crashing down. Very resourceful my friend. Very resourceful!

Crazy Phone Guy- Can't Find My Phone!

Last night on my way home on the commuter rail, I see a guy walk by me as he tries to get ahead of the crowd for our stop. As soon as he hits the door he realizes that he has misplaced his phone. Panic sets in on his face. He is toting a huge back pack, a helmet and a reusable grocery bag filled to the brim. He goes running down the aisle as we don’t have much time before he needs to get off. However, whacking people on the head with helmets, bags and groceries doesn’t get you many friends.

People rub their slightly injured arms and heads and look at him like he is the most evil person on the planet. I mean… I guess, I don’t blame them after a long day at the office right?!

Anyway, he gets to where he was sitting. He asks the people in the seat still if they see a phone. They haven’t. He literally has a minute before we are at our stop. He feels down the cracks of the seat and doesn’t feel it. He panics and screams at a girl to get off the seat. He then rips the bench off the seat and holds it in the air with one arm as he frantically scours under it for his phone. He retrieves his phone and holds it in the air like it is some trophy, throws down the bench of the seat not even caring where it lands and leaves the poor girl who stood up to fix the seat situation.

We arrive at our stop and he goes down the aisle once again whacking people in the head…aside from me, he actually stopped and let me out. Quite nice of him considering the fact that I stayed in my seat longer than I usually do to watch him for blog related matters. Oh well… I got up and let him go behind me as I got off the train first to try and beat the rain storm home…which I did!

No More Missy Nice Girl!

Over the last four years, I have tried not to let the city harden me. I am a nice person and try to treat everyone with respect regardless of who they are. My biggest peeve about the train is when able bodied people stay seated and disabled or elderly stand. This morning I hop on the T and see a man in his 50’s with an ankle brace on and I happened to be sitting. I get up.

“Would you like to sit down?” I ask him.

“What…you think I’m too old to stand?” he screams at me like I just spit in his face or something.

“Oh no. I saw your brace. Would you like to sit?” I remain calm.

“You think I’m disabled now?” he screams back at me in front of a packed train and now everyone is looking at me.

“Absolutely not. I just didn’t want you to stand if you were in pain.” I say as I sit back down.

Everyone is silent. We go one stop and he gets off and the woman next to me tells me that I did the right thing.

Ok yes… I did the right thing but really, when people are like that, it really discourages me from being nice. The city hasn’t hardened me (too much) yet but I understand why people keep their heads down and keep to themselves. What is wrong with people that they scream out to people just trying to help?