You Are All Animals!

I get to North Station today with minimal problems. I decide that since I am wearing a dress and my legs were cold, that I’d take the T.

The T comes and people get off and this woman that was already on, reboards. I get on behind her and I probably should have been the last one on. However, the people behind me thought otherwise. They start pushing me into this woman and I apologize. She turns to me and says with her Chanel sunglasses on and her b*tch face “You people are f*cking animals! You are all acting like animals! This is disgusting! I am so sick of this!”

What is she so sick of? Sardine packed trains aren’t a new thing because of the weather. During rush hour it happens 99.99% of the time. Sooo she is either new to riding the T as of this month and thinks this will go away or she is just not coming to grips with the reality of the train. Either way… suck it up princess!

The guy behind me starts in on her “We’re animals huh? Really? You should see what they do in Tokyo. This is nothing! NOTHING!”

“Well, we aren’t in Tokyo. You people disgust me. I don’t even have a place to hold on to now because of you people.” (Side note: YES SHE DID She was just being dramatic.)

Another guy chimes in “Tokyo is great!”

“Oh, world traveling animals. Isn’t that cute?” she says from behind her Chanel sunglasses.

We ignore her.

“Ya know! I have something sticking in to my a*s! I have no idea what it is but I don’t like it!” she screams in her b*tch tone.

I look behind her since she has repositioned herself to face “the animals” which apparently includes me because I was body slammed into her. It’s a guy with the puffiest North Face jacket on. I mean… sh*t happens and things do poke you buuuttttt through a bubble coat, I’m thinking maybe not.

We pull into Haymarket and no one gets off. The doors close and we are off to State Street. Once we get to State, she high tails if off the train asfast as she can to get away from “The Animals”.

Sayōnara Princess!

I Got a Seat and Potentially a Cold

I got a seat today! I got on the train and there happened to be a middle seat open between two older men. I ask the guy on the aisle if I could sit down. He agrees, gets up and lets me in. Now, you’d think I’d be excited…WRONG!

No sooner than I sit down, do these two guys have flemmy coughing fits! I figure they will stop soon. NOPE! One reaches in his pocket for a cough drop and pops it in his mouth. Do you think that stopped the fit? NO! I hold my breath but I quickly realize that this will go on longer than I can possibly hold my breath.

I wrap my scarf around my face and try very hard not to need oxygen for the remainder of the train ride as these two have a coughing standoff with me in the middle!

I’ll be chugging orange juice and Beracca like it’s my job today!

That is all!

Oh MBTA- Get it together...

Oh MBTA…Get it together!

Last night, I walked to North Station. I figured it was a safer bet than taking the Orange line. Once I got there, I was prepared to take the 5:40pm train home and was prepared for delays thrown at me as well. I was on the phone with a friend when I heard over the loud speaker that a 5:30pm express train was making ALL the stops which included mine! Yippee! I quickly hung up with my friend and B- Lined it to the train.

I quickly realized that was everyone else’s plan too. It was standing room only. Sardine packed on the commuter rail! Squished! People were standing everywhere.

We are then crawling out of North Station. I couldn’t even believe how packed it was. The conductor comes over the loud speaker telling us that even though it ‘s a packed train, there are only two…TWO conductors on the train and therefore two…ONLY TWO doors will open!

I am in the MIDDLE OF THE TRAIN! No matter which way I go, I have to climb through the masses.

I am irritated and happy at the same time! I am on the train! YAY! I will have to crowd surf to get out of here! Not Yay!

A guy near me pulls out a pack of peanuts. I can smell them. I don’t want them. In fact I am allergic to peanuts (Although, I eat Reeses cups because they are worth the pain! HA!) BUT Just to have some fun and to see what I could get away with, I tell the guy I am severely allergic to peanuts and he needs to put them away since it is so packed I don’t think medical attention could get to me before I die! Hey… I have to entertain myself somehow right?!

He apologizes and puts them away quickly. I say a quick thank you and we are done.  However, the women next to me hear me and start talking about how it’s a rule at school that their kids can’t bring peanut butter and jelly sandwiches because of a sever allergy and they never thought of it on the train…blah blah blah.

Anyway, plotting my escape from the sardine packed train, I am the third stop and hope that people get off before me to make my trek to the door a little more pleasant.

NOPE! Not the case! At the stop prior to mine, a small group of us start making our way to the door. I felt like I was in a mosh pit…remember those?...are they still around?... when you are 29 (again), you may start to date yourself. Any who… the train is jostling back and forth and I am bumping in to people that perhaps in real life…like real-real life and not on a train, I wouldn’t want to bump into!  Not even in a mosh pit!

I finally get to my stop and am off the train. I am home by 6:45pm. Not too bad. I check my emails and find that trains after me were delayed between 50 minutes to 2 hours. Even though my ride was tight, I made it home and that’s better than waiting 2 hours!

Thoughts of an MBTA Rider

6:45am- I am so early this morning. I will catch the early train in and avoid delays because it’s the early train, it’s on a fresh track and no one else will have this idea… no they won’t!

7ish am (I am not looking at phone or watch- too cold for this sh*t)- The train is here! I am so excited. I was right! I will make it to work on time!

7:03-ish am- Train stops, opens doors lets people off and says they aren’t taking any more passengers because of “heavy ridership” . We are informed a train is on its way.

7:04ish am- RIOT!! Yup! Hundreds of people on the platform are ready to flip the f*ck out!

7:05ish am- Do you wait for the train to come? Do you go home and warm up and come back?

7:06ish am- Check phone. Several emails indicate that the “train that’s on its way” is delayed 15, nope 20 nope 30 minutes, nope… the emails keep going.

7:07am- Go home and warm up.

7:10am- Dog is THRILLED that you are home from work so early! My, what a quick day that was.

7:30am- Head to train station in hopes that you can get to the front of the platform to be guaranteed to board.

7:31am- Dog devastated by your departure…again!

7:33am- Arrive at the station to realize it’s not coming for 21 more minutes…that’s an estimate as I later find out that it was not 21 minutes.

Wait and wait and wait.

7:50am- See train off in the distance. It’s not slowing down. Oh sh*t! That’s the express train! I am in the front for ideal boarding for the next train but it’s not ideal for the express train. Turn back just in time for ice chunks to be sprayed all over my back, legs and stuck in my hair!

7:51am- Attempt to remove all ice chunks.

7:55am- Permanent chill sets in. Now shivering even though fully prepared for the cold.

7:55am-8:15am- have to listen to awkward small talk conversations going on everywhere. Luckily, I am not in one of them.

8:15am- Train finally arrives. Board smoothly. Train is packed and I will take the first open seat.

8:16am- “Can I sit down?” I ask. “No, the ceiling is leaking on the middle seat.”  I Didn’t verify this. However, not taking chances with my chill that has set in. I went to next available seat.

8:20am- Sitting next to woman with “working girl look”. (Sneakers, tights and slouchy socks). It’s not the 80’s anymore lady! Get over that look!

8:25am- Shoot! I drank my coffee and never thought to pee before leaving the house for a second time. Damn! Was too concerned about disappointing the dog for a second time today.

8:50am- Arrive at North Station and B-Line it to the ladies room. There is no way I am getting stuck on the T while needing to pee!

9am- Get to T platform. Homeless woman with 2 coolie carts and a cheetah print blanky over her, is heckling the riders. 3 MBTA police step in and try to remove her but she technically isn’t doing anything wrong so they let her stay and remain close by in case she decides to go batsh*t crazy.

9:04am- The T arrives. We pile in. I am squished in so tightly that I don’t need to worry about holding on!

9:05am- We arrive at Haymarket. ONE woman needs to get off. ONE! Everyone piles out on to the platform, everyone piles back on. She isn’t happy with the amount of space given to her to get off the train and she starts screaming “LET ME OFF ALREADY” even though she was in fact off the train!

9:07am- State Street! AH! My stop! I am so packed in that it is nearly impossible to get off the train. I maintain my composure and finally I am freed to get off the train.

9:08am- Walk up the stairs to the street in the herd of sheeple and walk to my office.

Now, let’s see about getting home…

I say “Excuse Me.” But my eyes say “F*ck off B*tch.”

This morning I get to the train station and the train is only 10 minutes late. This is great compared to the previous days this week. I happily get on the train and head in towards North Station. It was only 8 degrees out but the sun was shining. It was still chilly though.

Once I am at North Station, I am notified that there is a severe delay due to a disabled train. I see that the display board says a train to Forest Hills is coming in 5 minutes. The train after that will be there in 20. So, since I am one of the first on the platform, I have a pretty good shot.

The T pulls in and lots of people get off.  I am truly surprised at the amount of people getting off. We all try to pile in after there is room for us.

An older woman blurts out “ If you haven’t already been on the train, you have no business trying to get on.”

The girl behind me says calmly to her “That’s an interesting way to look at it. Generally when people get off, it allows for people to get on but what do I know.”

The doors close and I am on my merry sardine packed way.

The doors open and close at Haymarket and then we get to State. I am on the opposite side of the train so I need to pass this old irritated lady to get off. Another girl and I say “Excuse me.”  To get by her. She starts screaming at us “2 Stops! Why the hell didn’t you just walk? WHY?”

We were so baffled by her harshness. Everyone kinda just looks at us like “Did she really say that?”  It is below freezing out, windy and had we walked it would have been a mile (uphill both ways! Duh!). We were both bundled up but COME ON! On Tuesday when we had a fiasco and I actually had to walk in 5 degrees, I couldn’t feel my hands and feet when I got to the office…and I was bundled up to the hilt that day. PLUS… oh… we PAID to use the T so um… we will use it.

The girl walking out with me turns to the old lady and says  “Because it’s below freezing out! That’s why!” I chimed in behind her “SERIOUSLY!!” We said “Excuse me.” One more time as she was still in our way. However, this time, I said “Excuse me.” But my eyes said “F*ck off B*tch!” and carried on our merry little way to work.

Happy Friday everyone!

MBTA FAIL! CITY IS PRETTY MUCH CRIPPLED!

I can’t feel my fingers or toes! It wasn’t because I wasn’t bundled up well. I had on wool pants with silk lining, two pair of ski socks on, a heat tech tube top from Uniqlo, a long sleeve shirt, a suit jacket, my knee length EMS down jacket, a cute winter headband, my hood up, gloves and two scarves. So Why? Might you ask can I not feel my fingers and toes. I will tell you why as I sit here and type trying to warm up with my hot cocoa and peaches and cream oatmeal!

This morning when I woke up, I check the weather. It is FIVE degrees! I got MBTA updates stating early trains were running behind. Since I didn’t get any more updates, I assume my train is on time. I leave my house at 7:35am and walk to the train station that is 2 blocks from my house. I get there for the 7:41am train. I wait. My feet start to feel cold but I push through it and sip my coffee. After a little while, I check the message board. NOTHING. I check my apps. NOTHING. Continue drinking my coffee.

I finally run out of coffee and notice lots of people pacing around. Great idea. I’ll do the same to keep my toes warm. By now it is 8:25am and no sign of the train. I look up at the platform and see a swarm of people leaving. They scream that the 8:25am train was canceled! However, if the 7:41am and 7:57am train weren’t canceled, does this mean they are on their way?

I stay put figuring that they must be! All of a sudden I hear “Toot toot tooooooot” coming down the tracks! We all start jumping for joy! Finally! It’s here!!!

The train is approaching fast! Very fast. It’s not slowing down! Not one bit. I realize this is the express train that usually comes before the 7:41am train. I turn my back as I think a breeze/wind tunnel is about to ensue. Once it passes, I look at everyone else…the ones who didn’t turn their backs are sprayed head to toe in fresh powder. I realize that my backside probably looks just like their front side but that’s better than a face full of snow.

The guy next to me says that he is going to give up hope in 10 minutes. I agree with him. I look to my other side and the girl next to me is crying…tears literally freezing to her face!

Just as 10 minutes go by and it is now almost 9am, a train creeps into the station. We are finally on and we creep into Boston.

I get to Boston almost warmed up. Still have a chill. I am looking forward to hopping on the T and getting to work. As I am exiting North Station to head to the Orange line, I hear a woman scream “Orange and Green lines are down! No shuttles either!” I blurt out “Are you f*cking kidding me!?” I hear this statement right after I touched the lucky shamrock plaque that says “Touch for good luck!” How can this be happening? I mean… I touched the f*cking plaque!

I had a Redbox, I needed to return so I head into the T station anyways. PS. Boyhood. Super depressing. Don’t watch it! I get down there and people are complaining saying they have been waiting for 40 minutes for the T. I head back up to the street and consider a cab. No cabs to be found. Uber decides to charges 4 times the rates. I guess I am walking! Yup…one mile to my office in slush and half cleared sidewalks. I walk as fast as I can. After all, it is 5 degrees out! 5! However, what blows my mind is the people taking their sweet a*s time walking. I hastily asked the slow walkers to MOVE by politely…err…ok not politely, more like angrily saying “EXCUSE ME!” I mean really it’s FIVE degrees and you are walking at the pace of a f*cking snail. REALLY!? And it wasn’t just one person doing this…there were quite a few.

Finally…FINALLY! I am inside. With hot cocoa and peaches and cream oatmeal trying to warm up. However, I am not warming up. I am chilled to the bone. I may have to resort to the office Scotch stash!

Good luck getting home everyone!