Thoughts of a Delayed MBTA Rider

My thoughts yesterday whilst being stuck on the commuter train for nearly 2 hours:

1.       YES!! I made the 5:30 and they are making ALL STOPS! Yahoo!

2.       Maybe I’ll find a seat if I keep walking.

3.       Oh, everyone is stopping. No worries I’ll just ride in the vestibule where there is a sign that states “PASSENGERS NOT PERMITTED TO RIDE IN VESTIBULE”.

4.       I’ll be safe! They wouldn’t let me ride here if it wasn’t…right? They’d come kick me out.

5.       Oh, 10 other people are cramming into the vestibule with me. I hope they don’t smell…

6.       UGH! That one looks like she would smell.

7.       Oh good, she is going next to the door and cracking the window. OHH and she announces that she’s having a hot flash. Poor lady.

8.       OK, it’s 5:30. We should be moving. Why aren’t we moving?

9.       Switch problem…on the bridge. No problem. I don’t have anywhere to be right now or anything.

10.   You appreciate my patients? Does MBTA really appreciate my patients?

11.   Gross…that artsy lady has a booger hanging out of her nose.

12.   Do I have boogers stuck in my nose? (Selfie check in phone. Damn my hat is cute! OK.. no boogers! I’m safe!)

13.   Still not moving! So glad I didn’t get that end of the day coffee! Coffee goes right through me.

14.   UGH! I really wish I did have that coffee…exhausted from standing with work bag and purse…my poor shoulders.

15.   I just want to rest my head. Think ‘Hot Flash’ will mind if I just rest my head on her. I mean she is leaning on me while hanging out the window.

16.   Never mind…she is sweating. Gross. Don’t want to ruin my cute hat!

17.   Oh we’re moving forward! Yay!

18.   Why do I hear it creaking under my feet? F*cking Vestibule!

19.   Oh wait…now we are going back to the station…what the…

20.   The switch needed to be tested…wait a minute… is that what we just did. Were we the testers? Is that dangerous to do…I AM RIDING IN THE VESTIBULE PEOPLE!

21.   Oh… and we’re moving forward again.

22.   What’s that smell? Is that brake dust? Metal on metal? Are we going to die? How much weight do you think this is carrying?

23.   (Train takes sharp corner and I go flying. Artsy catches me.) “Oh thank you! I nearly fell flat on my face!”  I say to her while thinking- Sh*t, did that booger land on me?

24.   Nope. Booger still there!

25.   Oh here’s my stop! Phew! Ok… vestibule is kind of handy. I don’t need to crowd surf to get off the train. I am right here!

26.   Ok! I survived. I survived!

27.   You deserve a glass of wine...or a bottle….ya....a bottle!

Thoughts of an MBTA Rider

6:45am- I am so early this morning. I will catch the early train in and avoid delays because it’s the early train, it’s on a fresh track and no one else will have this idea… no they won’t!

7ish am (I am not looking at phone or watch- too cold for this sh*t)- The train is here! I am so excited. I was right! I will make it to work on time!

7:03-ish am- Train stops, opens doors lets people off and says they aren’t taking any more passengers because of “heavy ridership” . We are informed a train is on its way.

7:04ish am- RIOT!! Yup! Hundreds of people on the platform are ready to flip the f*ck out!

7:05ish am- Do you wait for the train to come? Do you go home and warm up and come back?

7:06ish am- Check phone. Several emails indicate that the “train that’s on its way” is delayed 15, nope 20 nope 30 minutes, nope… the emails keep going.

7:07am- Go home and warm up.

7:10am- Dog is THRILLED that you are home from work so early! My, what a quick day that was.

7:30am- Head to train station in hopes that you can get to the front of the platform to be guaranteed to board.

7:31am- Dog devastated by your departure…again!

7:33am- Arrive at the station to realize it’s not coming for 21 more minutes…that’s an estimate as I later find out that it was not 21 minutes.

Wait and wait and wait.

7:50am- See train off in the distance. It’s not slowing down. Oh sh*t! That’s the express train! I am in the front for ideal boarding for the next train but it’s not ideal for the express train. Turn back just in time for ice chunks to be sprayed all over my back, legs and stuck in my hair!

7:51am- Attempt to remove all ice chunks.

7:55am- Permanent chill sets in. Now shivering even though fully prepared for the cold.

7:55am-8:15am- have to listen to awkward small talk conversations going on everywhere. Luckily, I am not in one of them.

8:15am- Train finally arrives. Board smoothly. Train is packed and I will take the first open seat.

8:16am- “Can I sit down?” I ask. “No, the ceiling is leaking on the middle seat.”  I Didn’t verify this. However, not taking chances with my chill that has set in. I went to next available seat.

8:20am- Sitting next to woman with “working girl look”. (Sneakers, tights and slouchy socks). It’s not the 80’s anymore lady! Get over that look!

8:25am- Shoot! I drank my coffee and never thought to pee before leaving the house for a second time. Damn! Was too concerned about disappointing the dog for a second time today.

8:50am- Arrive at North Station and B-Line it to the ladies room. There is no way I am getting stuck on the T while needing to pee!

9am- Get to T platform. Homeless woman with 2 coolie carts and a cheetah print blanky over her, is heckling the riders. 3 MBTA police step in and try to remove her but she technically isn’t doing anything wrong so they let her stay and remain close by in case she decides to go batsh*t crazy.

9:04am- The T arrives. We pile in. I am squished in so tightly that I don’t need to worry about holding on!

9:05am- We arrive at Haymarket. ONE woman needs to get off. ONE! Everyone piles out on to the platform, everyone piles back on. She isn’t happy with the amount of space given to her to get off the train and she starts screaming “LET ME OFF ALREADY” even though she was in fact off the train!

9:07am- State Street! AH! My stop! I am so packed in that it is nearly impossible to get off the train. I maintain my composure and finally I am freed to get off the train.

9:08am- Walk up the stairs to the street in the herd of sheeple and walk to my office.

Now, let’s see about getting home…

Stalled on the Train Tracks and We’re Not Moving

Yesterday was a fun time on my way home. I get to the 5:30 train and find my seat. A professional man sits down next to me. We head out on our merry way on the express train. They make the announcement “Anderson Woburn Anderson!” Everyone gets up and starts heading down the aisle toward the door when all of a sudden the train stops dead.

“The train has stalled but it will be just a few minutes and we will be back up and running.” Says the conductor. Everyone remains in their place since it will only be a few minutes.

“Again. Just a few minutes. We apologize for the delay.” He says to keep us from getting irritated but it’s too late.

The air conditioning has remained on during this entire time we were stalled. However, right after that announcement, the battery must have run out of juice because all the power goes dead. The conductor gets on the loud speaker again “Clearly, the train is dead. We apologize for the delay.”

People standing start talking about attempting to walk along the side of the train track to the station stop. It’s not that far. However, the conductors put a stop to that quickly. How dangerous is that? Seriously people!

The guy next to me is irritated and starting to sweat. He starts by loosening his tie. Then he decides to take the tie off. Then he starts unbuttoning his button down shirt. He then, whips off his shirt and is down to his undershirt. Awesome! Because this isn’t awkward!

A conductor opens our door to our car and goes “Wooooo it is like a sauna in here! You do realize your car is the worst?” Thanks for the kind words of comfort buddy. That was great.

“Amtrak is going to come behind us and push us in to Anderson. For those of you going beyond Anderson, please get off and take the next train.” A conductor says over the loud speaker.

At this point, the 5:50pm train hasn’t passed us so there is hope that we can get into that one seamlessly. Directly after the thought crossed my mind I hear “Toot Toot Toot!” from afar. I believe it’s the Amtrak that’s going to push us in. All of a sudden a commuter rail train blows by us still tooting it’s horn on the other rail. There goes the 5:50pm train!

Everyone sighs pretty much in unison. This is so discouraging. The train after the 5:50pm train will not go to where I need it to go. So, I’d have to catch the train after that. Not happy! And neither is everyone else!

Loud speaker comes on again “That is the 5:50pm train. They have been instructed to wait for us while we get pushed in and if you are going further, you will get on that train.” Everyone seems a little less pissed at this point.

We feel a bump and the Amtrak train is connected and we are creeping into Anderson Woburn Station. Once we get to the platform safely, we disembark the train and cross over and hop onto the other one. A/C is on full blast! Loud speaker comes on “If you are in a three seater and the middle seat is open, slide over. We will be at double the capacity.” I look around and no one moves! No one! We are in a time of commuter crisis and no one is willing to scooch in. I find a two seater and plop down on the end. I grab my book from my bag and continue reading where I left off. The doors close with everyone on and we’re packed but we were moving!

I got to my stop about an hour later than usual. I rushed home and poured myself a glass of wine. After all, it was wine Wednesday.