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Thursday, October 29, 2015

Skirts Flying and Burrito Warnings

Yesterday as I was heading to the train, it wasn’t raining too badly so I decided to walk instead of hopping on the T like everyone else. Half way to North Station, I realized that it wasn’t the rain I wanted to avoid, it was the wind. I was holding my umbrella and my hand bag while wearing a dress. Not a pencil, tight dress but one that flows. Well, on windy days you do not want flow-y skirts.

Every time I tried to cross a street, the wind would turn my umbrella inside out and I’d have to reach up and flip it right side out but in doing so, my hand was coming off of my dress as it was holding it down. I walked a mile like this. By the time I got near North Station it was either let everyone see my a*s or save my umbrella. Survival of a city girl I tell ya. I closed my umbrella because it wasn’t worth it but the rain picked up and I was getting pelted. I decided “F*ck it! Let everyone see my a*s!” and opened up my umbrella again. I was fortunate though… no one saw my a*s. The skirt of my dress just swooshed in the wind and luckily didn’t fly up!

I make it to the train and sit down in a seat with this guy on the window. After I sit down and start getting situated he leans in and tells me “I just ate a burrito.” I just look at him like “WTF” he continues. “I just ate a burrito so if you… ahhh… well you’ve been warned!”

F*ck my life! Is he telling me that because he ate a burrito, he is going to stink up this space? Luckily, my allergies are really bad right now and I didn’t smell a thing!

Almost Friday people! Almost Friday!!!

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Late Trains and Questionable Fluids

And so it begins. Yesterday the train was late by a half an hour due to mechanical problems. A train, dead on the tracks, got to be pushed in by another train…oh and the people waiting for those trains all stacked up at the train station to wait for the NEEEXXXTTT train to come. A train finally comes and it is standing room only. I get to stand in the aisle and it wasn’t a day I decided to wear comfy commuter shoes.

Today… train late again! Only by 10 minutes. However, had I had a warning notification like the ones I signed up for (on time at least and not after I get to the train), I could have hung with my pooch for another 10 min. Anyway, I get a seat today so that was good news! Today was also an office birthday. I love to bake and created this wonderful cake with a glaze (I love glaze because I suck at frosting things). I take my seat and put my cake on my lap. I think nothing of it because this cake carrier is iron clad. Nothing gets in. Nothing gets out.

We arrive at North  Station and I head to the T because I don’t want to walk a mile with a cake carrier. As I wait for the T, people are looking at my black pencil skirt. Particularly in the direction of my crotch. Um… why?! I look down and realize… F*CK the glaze drizzled and leaked out of the cake carrier and on to my black skirt. It looks… VERY QUESTIONABLE! Use your imagination folks! I panic in my head and then put the cake carrier in front of my skirt to hide the glaze. I want to tell these people “Look at the cake. See the glaze. It’s just glaze! My boyfriend is in China… it can’t even be what you think it IISSSS!” BUT, I keep quiet and hide my glazed skirt.

I board the T and try very hard on a sardine packed train not to lean on anyone. I continue to have my cake carrier in front of me. When I get to State, I b-line off the T and to my office building. I then b-line to the elevator and b-line from the elevator to the bathroom where finally, I can wet a paper towel (on my designer, dry clean only skirt… but it’s my only freakin’ option!) and wipe off most of the glaze. Finally, my skirt is kinda back to normal with a wet spot that I hope to GOD dries nicely and doesn’t ruin the fabric.

Luckily I am the first one in the office and can get settled in before anyone can see my wet skirt. Thankfully, the cake was a huge hit and worth the trouble getting it here! My skirt had also dried by the time cake was served!  

So, what have I learned today? Sign yourself up for a cake decorating class. Had you been able to frost, you wouldn’t have had “the glaze incident”.

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Oh No! Put Your Leg Back On!

It’s been a busy few weeks but about a week and a half ago I took the bus home from the airport. It conveniently drops me in front of my door which is awesome!! We get on the train and there is a man with a prosthetic leg. A little kid sits across from him and is staring at it. The man whips his leg off and starts waving it around. “Haven’t you ever seen one before?” he yells to the three year old.

Stunned, the three year old shakes his head no.

The man’s face turns blank while he's flailing his leg about as he is realizing what he has done. He puts his leg back on and lowers his tone. “You see, I went to war 30 years ago. I was shot in the leg and got gang green and now, I have this to help me get around.”

The kid nods and is intrigued. He starts telling his battle stories to him and now they were buddies.

At first I wasn’t sure what to think. I didn’t know if this guy was going to lose it or not but in the end it did melt my heart a little to see him explain to the child what happened instead of being angry. I’m sure the child hadn’t seen that before and I feel by explaining he better understands so that in the future he doesn’t have to stare and wonder, he can look and be compassionate.