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Friday, July 22, 2016

I'll Just Pick Up My Dignity Now

Last night, I am walking to the train and enter the train station when I realize it is 5:14. My train leaves at 5:15pm. I pick up the pace and start off toward the track. I am talking on my phone. I have my ear bud in (only one ear! Never two. I always need to hear my surroundings too). My purse is a hand bag with an attachable cross body strap for when my hands are full and… I had my hands full. I was carrying my cake carrier from an office birthday that was empty (thankfully) in one hand and a seltzer in the other.

Anyway, I have my phone stashed in my purse as I gab away and hustle for the train. I reach the platform and it looks like the conductor is still letting people on. As soon as I hit the platform, my cross body strap unhooks and the contents of my purse go everywhere as my purse falls to the ground and rips my ear bud out of my ear. My phone, had it not been attached to the ear buds and the ear buds somehow wrapped around my feet now, would have gone flying into the tracks. I start screaming at my rouge phone “JUST A MINUTE!!” The call dropped anyways but the conductor thought I was yelling at him like “Oh, Just a minute! Hold the train while I just pick up the contents of my purse…oh and my dignity as everyone watches after they have all gasped! The conductor screams back “OK but hurry up!”

I pick up everything and enter the train with my purse, seltzer, cake carrier, make up, phone, ear buds…everything rolled up in some sort of ball that is miraculously staying together while I try to find a seat. The last thing I want to do is request a middle seat because my ball of belongings would go rouge again. I find a B*TCH with her bag on the outside seat of a 2 seater. I nicely request her to move the bags so I can sit. She pretends she can’t hear me so I request again. She huffs and moves the bags. (PS! There is a special place in hell for people who put their bags on the seat during rush hour and actually think they will have the seat to themselves the entire way!)

I sit down and try to put back the contents of my purse and hope…hope hope… that I have everything! I do! PHEW! But it was all sprinkled with seltzer now! Small price to pay for making the train I suppose!!

ANNDD Now it’s Friday so yay for that!!!

Monday, July 11, 2016

Or Are You Too Stupid?

This morning I decided to take the T? Why? Because I wore shoes that I thought would be comfy on my errands on Saturday and instead of being comfy, they gave me blisters so I’m trying to eliminate walking at great lengths until my poor feet are no longer on the mend.

I wait at North Station and when the train arrives, I get on and there is a gap down the side that no one in filling in. I don’t say anything as I am not affected. It turns out to be a nonissue. That is, until we get to Haymarket.

The doors open and no one gets off but people need to get on. One guy tries to get on and he fits but his back pack doesn’t. One guy yells “Can you move down? Why are we not moving down?” The girl responsible for initiating the move down, who does not have anything interfering with her hearing does absolutely nothing but look at her feet.

The poor guy gets off the train and tries another door. He ends up not being able to get on the train which angers a woman by the door that witnessed this poor guy having to wait because no one moved down.  “HEY! Can you move down or are you TOO STUPID to get that you have to move down to let people on?”

The girl responsible for filling in the gap again just stands there and someone nudges her as the angered woman yells some more “THAT’S IT! SHE IS TOO STUPID!!!”

The girl now gets it and moves down as she apologizes in perfect English. At first I was wondering if she was either not understanding English or deaf but I guess she was just in a morning daze.  This happens when… after the doors close and it’s too late for this poor guy on the platform to get on.

Happy Monday Everyone!

Thursday, July 7, 2016


Omg! I forgot what it was like to take the T since it has been a while since I took it during rush hour.

It all began when I am about to leave my office but the phone rings and this person wants to gab. I don't mind gabbing but not when I am trying to catch my train.  I literally walk out the door 2 minutes late and my commute home is blown.

Instead of running in this horrible air quality that I was advised to stay away from and stay in doors, I opt for the T and hope for the best.  This usually gets me to north station a little quicker but such luck. I wait for 7 minutes which is the time on the screen that it should take to arrive. Oh but guess what. .. 7 minutes turns in to 10. On top of that, people are now piling up on the platform.

The T arrives and it is packed.  A few get off and I am in the front of the pack that is trying to board.  From behind,  I am shoved into the doorway. I have no where to go but into people.  I tell the girl that I am now shoving (chain reaction) that I am soo sorry and that it is coming from behind. Seriously! What is wrong with people? We are in Boston not Japan. This is not acceptable here!!

I finally am on and situated and not pushing anyone over. We start and stop again at Haymarket. Guess what? Someone behind me needs to get off so i get off to let them off. When I got to get back on, I am shoved once again!! Seriously? I get that you have places to go but what gives you the right to shove me into people? I am not weak by any imagination but I am weak compared to the 250 person behind me trying to get on!!

Finally the guard steps in and tells him he needs to stay behind the yellow line.She didn't say 'Stop body slamming this lady.' Nope... stand behind the line. Whatever. He finally let up and the doors closed.

I am now on the 540 train home. 25 minutes after the train I usually get but whatever. .. I made it to the train unharmed  (I think...I bruise easily so tomorrow won't be a surprise if I have some bruise on the back of my leg...we shall see). And did youdo the math?  I left work 2 minutes late and am now 25 plus minutes behind.

It's almost Friday people. ALMOST! !!!

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Fist Full of Hair

I'm ordering lunch in the concourse of Grand Central. After I pay, I am tugged back by my hair. Some weirdo behind me had a fist full of my hair and was smelling it. Um, get your f*cking nose out of my hair! I don't know youuuuu!

That is all! New York, I still love you!

Monday, May 16, 2016

Lock the Fekking Door

Omg! Omfg! I'm heading to New Jersey today on the Amtrak. As we approach Penn Station, I decide I should pee before everyone gets off, everyone gets on. I run back to the restroom and see that the light is not on so I open the door wide open. What do I find? What the fek to I find? Oh I'll tell you what I found. I found a woman buck a*s naked bending over trying to get something off the floor with her a*s hanging out in the breeze staring right at me! Oh but not only I saw this... the seats facing the bathroom door also got a show and were dying with laughter. I slammed the door so quickly that it flew open again and so I, being my good self ran after the rogue door and closed it again for her. I don't even know if she realized what was going on because there was zero effort to cover up her a*s flapping in the train breeze!

A man came out of the other restroom and I flew in there so fast to avoid a run in with this woman just hanging out for all to see. I took my time in there so that I wouldn't have to see her and when I came out, the people in the cheap seats to the bare a*s show instructed me the coast was clear and I b-lined it back to my seat!

Happy Monday Y'all!!

Thursday, March 24, 2016

Making Friends with the Staff?

This has nothing to do with the train but I am peeved! I was coming back to the office from a meeting and I was greeted by a security guard I see every day. A woman in front of me stepped through the gates to the elevator banks and now it was my turn.  She ignores the security guard and goes on about her business. As I am going through the gates to the elevator bank he says “How are you today? Have a good lunch?” I respond “Hey! How is your day going? Are you in tomorrow?” Tomorrow is a holiday for some so I’ve been asking. It is usually a good conversation starter before a holiday.

We chat for a second and the elevator comes. “I’ll see you later Stephan!” I say to him as I get on the elevator with this woman.

The doors close and she says “Making friends with the staff are we?”

I looked at her and was floored. Staff? Really! Yes, they work for our building but they protect us and greet us every single day! “I see him every day. They are all so very nice! Why wouldn’t I talk to the security guards? They are great people.” I say in my nicest, bubbly, happy voice.

She looked at her feet for the rest of the elevator ride. HA!

I think it speaks volumes about people when, because someone with a lesser job than they have, speaks poorly to them or flat out ignores them or poopoo’s on people for being nice to them. I was taught that you treat everyone with the same amount of respect regardless of their job title. From CEO to Janitor… SAME RESPECT! SAME INTEGRITY! 
THAT IS ALL! I hope everyone enjoys the holiday weekend!

Monday, March 21, 2016

Spring is Obviosly Here! No?

This morning I woke up to a few inches of snow. Not bad at all after the big hype! I get ready for work and as I’m bundled up in my abominable snowman jacket, I read my emails on the off chance that there could be a delay because I don’t want to stand on the platform… in the snow… with my back pack…my purse AND a box full of 18 Mint Chocolate Brownie parfaits that I made for an office birthday (Uphill BOTH WAYS… yes that needed to be added for good measure!)

The emails keep coming! One train is canceled. The next has mechanical issues with only a 15 minute delay and needs to be pushed in to North Station by another train. The next… switch problems with a 20 to 25 minute delay and the one after that… CANCELED! I know that eventually a train will come get me but really… are these “delay times” accurate? I don’t know and with all the sh*t I am carrying, do I really want to have to stand on a sardine packed train that it will eventually turn into? NO!

I check google maps and it tells me to take the bus to the Blue line and then the Blue line to State. I have never done this before and I really don’t want to go through Lynn during rush hour. I throw my pepper spray in an easily accessible pocket and I head to the bus stop!

The bus is there within 2 minutes. I hop on and guess what? I get a seat!!!!! My sh*t even gets a seat for a while until the bus gets a little more crowded and I move my parfaits and allow someone who just got on to sit. We arrive at Wonderland and the train is sitting there…waiting for us and get this… I get a seat again! This is great! I check my phone as the Blue line whisks me in to the city. The train still has not come for my fellow commuter rail folks. They are still waiting and I’m halfway to work!

I arrive at my office a half hour late but this pales in comparison to where I’d be had I waited for the train that was only 25 minutes delayed. I check my phone again and while I am at work, my fellow commuter rail people are still on the platform an hour and a half after a train should have got them.

Thank goodness this was a mild winter and thank goodness spring is kinda-sorta here!