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Wednesday, December 31, 2014

My Custom Fur Hat!

My day was made today. I got off the train at North Station and was walking to the T. This woman in front of me turned around to hold the door for me and as I said “Thank you.” And walked through it, her eyes grew big and fixated on my hat.

“I just love your hat!” she said.

“Thanks!” I said as we walked toward the T.

“Where did you find something like that? It’s exquisite!” she asked.

“I had it custom made because it matched my hair perfectly! The guy is out of western Mass I think.”

Now, let me tell you about this hat. My friend and I went to an art show and saw this guy who made these beautiful hats, vests, jackets. When we were in his booth we saw this beautiful fur that was the same color as my hair! This is rare for me!! I didn’t like the suede the fur was paired with so he offered to custom make one just for me. It cost a pretty penny but it was beyond worth it! I have worn this hat twice in the cold weather. It is soo unbelievably warm that I wear it when it’s absolutely freezing out and I have gotten so many compliments on it in just the two times I have worn it.

“What is his name?” She asks.

I couldn’t remember but he put his tag in my hat so I took the hat off and read it too her. She grabbed a scrap paper from her purse and a pen and wrote down all of his info. She was so excited to look him up and get one down herself.

I just love when fine craftsmanship is recognized! It certainly is a one of a kind piece and he got the recognition he deserved!

Happy New Year Everyone!!

Monday, December 15, 2014

Parking Ticket


This has absolutely nothing to do with the train but here is an entertaining delightful neighbor story for you! For those of you that are my Facebook friends…I took matters into my own hands after the parking ticket which was clearly my last straw!

Friday, I wake up to the sound of rain. I thought “Oh wow! It is pouring outside but it seems peaceful.” I close my eyes and then realize “Oh sh*t! That isn’t rain! It is in the condo!” I leap from my bed and see in my bathroom a waterfall coming from my ceiling fan and on to my floor. I frantically grab a bowl from the kitchen and hope that I can contain it. I then grab my cell phone to call the girls upstairs. They ignore my call. I text them. I don’t hear anything. I knock on the door…NOTHING! I hear them making noise up there so I know they are up.

After the water stops, I hear a knock on my door. I answer it and say “Oh! You must have gotten my message.” She is shocked and says she didn’t. I tell her my bathroom is flooded. She takes a look. Doesn’t offer to clean it up and says “Oh, we took a bath together and then I flushed the toilet.” Um, yes…they took a bath together at 6am! She apologized and I said “Is it flooding up there? Do you think the bath over flowed? Anything?” She claims nothing is wrong. Goes upstairs. I’d like to point out that she didn’t offer to help clean it up or see if a plumber could come out and see if it is a pipe internally. Just says “I came down to see if you could move your car so we can get the oil tank out of the basement.”

“I can’t park on the street. I don’t have my resident permit yet.” I tell her. Actually, it was on my to do list for that day because I took the day off to get things done that I normally couldn’t get done because I was at work. She tells me that she called the town and they said it was OK and to just park in front of the house.

I move my vehicle. When I get back inside I go to use the bathroom and I hit the light switch. The electricity in the bathroom fizzles and crackles and fades in and out. I immediately shut the light off. This is not only a plumbing issue; it’s an electrical issue too! I call upstairs because this is a problem from them! They again ignore my call, text and knock! I move my vehicle back to my parking space that blocks the basement. I figure they will have to talk to me if they can’t get what they need done!

Knock on the door finally happens! I tell them that this is a bigger issue than we thought. I state that a plumber needs to be out and an electrician too. I agree to move my car if she makes the call.

After I move my vehicle, I run down to my laundry room to start washing my bathroom mat and towels that got all yucky. When I go in, I realize that someone has broken into it! I look around and notice a drainage tube piped in to my basin. I am fuming at this point! I felt so violated.  I follow the tube and it is connected to their new furnace.

I tell her what happened and she says she had no idea but the plumber would be out at some point today. I wait around the house on my day off and all of my errands take a back burner including my permit!

I get another knock, they are leaving but left their door open so if the plumber needs to go upstairs, he can. While I am waiting for the plumber, I needed to hop in the shower because I was going to a party later on. I ask a friend if I am able to take a shower if I don’t turn the lights on. I get the OK and shower with a flash light and candle. GOOD TIMES!

A few hours later the plumber hasn’t come but the neighbors get home. They head upstairs. A little while later, the plumber gets there. It happens to be the plumber that installed the furnace. He goes in to my bathroom and says it is certainly not anything to do with my bathroom and then checks out the lights and gives me the OK to turn them back on. He then needed to go upstairs. He calls the neighbors, I call them, he knocks, he rings the doorbell…no answer! NOTHING! While we are waiting I take him to the basement and ask about the tube in my laundry room.

“OH ya! Nick opened that up to drain into the basin.” He says.

“Oh Nick did! Does Nick know he was breaking in to my space? That lock on the door didn’t give it away that that is not common space?”

“Umm…wellllll….” He has no idea what to say.

“Did he get permission to go in there because he didn’t get it from me?”

“Ummm….” The guy has no idea what to say!

“Regardless, what is done is done but I am not happy about this! I keep things in here that I don’t want in common space. If there is a lock and you don’t have permission to go in there…Don’t go in there! It’s as simple as that!”

He feels awful and I know he didn’t do it but his company did. He goes back upstairs to try and see if the neighbors will let him in. They don’t and he leaves! AND I am left with no solution and wasted my day at home waiting for a plumber that couldn’t do sh*t for me.

I get ready for a party and try to forget my ridiculous day. I am happy and cute and head to my car. As I am on my way, I see a police car leave and a ticket on my windshield.

I LOSE IT!!! That was the last straw my friends! Bullsh*t she asked the town if I could park out front! I follow the officer to the station. I NEVER do this! I NEVER ask for favors! I walk into the station in tears! Explain my horrible day and show him my phone with my outlook reminder to get my permit today but since I waited for the plumber all day, I couldn’t.

He is kinda irritated at first. Then he totally sees how upset I am…or he thought I was crazy and wanted me to leave. Either way, I didn’t care. He looks up my driving record. He tells me he “will take care of” the ticket. Then he gets a resident parking permit for me. Fills out everything and slides it under the glass to me. I didn’t have my checkbook but I had cash. I asked what I owed him for the permit. “You’ve had a rough day. Don’t worry about it!”

AHH! Finally a break! I left there and was on my way to the party.

PS It’s Monday and still no solution to my plumbing problem. It hasn’t leaked so I am hoping it was just overflow from two people taking a bath together! Let’s hope that’s all that is!

Thursday, November 20, 2014

I Carried a Shower Curtain Rod on the Train


So, yesterday I went to TJ Maxx in Downtown Crossing to see if I could find some Christmas gifts for some people I am stumped on. I round the corning and see this perfect shower curtain rod that I NEED! It’s the rounded one that gives me extra space AND it BOLTS into the wall! Let me tell you why it needs to bolt into the wall…

When I first moved in to my condo, the guy who lived there before me offered to take me to dinner. I accepted and he gave me pointers on the house, the quirks of the house and the down low on the neighbors! He also showed me around town to help me familiarize myself with key places like Starbucks and Whole Foods! VERY IMPORTANT to know!

During his “down low” on the neighbors he informed me that I was in a safe neighborhood except…he stops! EXCEPT for the HOME INVASION that happened NEXT DOOR! He believes it was an isolated incident. However, having moved in to a new place and I hadn’t yet installed my house alarm, it concerned me.

That night I went to bed. At about 2am I hear this HUGE bang! I grab my pepper spray, phone and keys. I read somewhere that if you don’t have a home alarm, keep your keys near you so if anything happens, you can press panic and some alarm will sound and hopefully spoof the intruder. Also, if I got the dog and myself out of the house, I could speed off in my bare feet and pajamas!  I sat in my bed looking at my big huge dog curled up next to me. I look at her and whisper “Now would be a good time to start barking!” She does nothing. “Go get ‘em! Ahhhh….Attack!” I whisper to her. Again. She stays put.

I creep in the hall way and realize, this awesome house build in 1910 didn’t have a hall way light installed. I do the next best thing and flip the switch in the bathroom with pepper spray aimed and ready. I glance in the bathroom and what do you know? Oh, the shower curtain rod fell down! Crisis averted! No home invasion here!

So, yesterday, I bring my lovely prized shower curtain rod on the train. It’s huge! I probably smacked a few people in the head with it as I walked by. I tried soo soo hard not to but it was inevitable! I just barely made the train and it was standing room only. So, guess who got to stand on the commuter rail with her prized shower curtain rod? ME! It felt like everyone was looking at me. Wondering…why on earth would you bring that thing on the train! Well…now we know! And if I smacked you in the head with it as I walked by… super sorry!!

That is all!

Monday, November 17, 2014

Damsel in Distress


Well, I guess the way to get a man is to stand on the train platform in the pouring rain with no umbrella.

This morning, I am prepared for the rain in my Hunters rain boots and my Coach Umbrella. I am standing on the train platform and this girl comes up and just stands there, in the pouring rain while her LongChamps bag gets ruined. This handsome guy comes up on the platform and immediately offers her his umbrella. She responds with “Thanks! I have one, I was just too lazy to open it.” And hops in under his with him. They start making small talk while my prepared self stands alone.

Is that all I have to do? Not be prepared and stand in the pouring rain with no umbrella to meet a man? Hmm…better work on my damsel in distress technique! ;)

Thursday, November 13, 2014

I Am Not The Only Starbucks Snob


Yesterday I had an eye appointment in the Back Bay. As I got on the T to make my way over to State Street, this guy strikes up a conversation with me asking me if Tufts used to be New England Medical Center. I tell him that they basically used a label maker to put up the Tufts stop and if he looks real close he can probably see what it used to be. He comes to the conclusion that it was New England and then he tells me that he is never on the Orange line but he was being lazy and wanted to hop on to North Station.

He then tells me “I hope there is a Starbucks there! I need a coffee.”

“No Starbucks! Just two Dunkin Donuts!” I reply.

“Are you kidding me? You can’t be serious! I can’t have Dunkin’s!” he screams.

I just look at him.

“I mean, I totally sound like a coffee snob but I am not. I just can’t have watered down, sugary crap! This is bull sh*t! OK, what I just said totally makes me a coffee snob but whatever!”

I laugh and tell him that what he just said is EXACTLY how I feel! Thank god! No one understands my deep hatred for Dunkin’s but this guy could totally relate! We were at Downtown Crossing when he started to rationalize getting off at a different stop for Starbucks.

I pointed out that he could get off at State and pop up to the one on Washington and either walk the rest of the way or hop back on the T to North Station if he had time.

Guess what…he got off at State for Starbucks! Yup! Starbucks is THAT important!

I wished him well and then went towards my building. By the time I got to my building and all that talk about Starbucks, I popped into the one at my lobby and treated myself to a lovely Carmel Brule Latte!

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Wake Up Buddy!!


Last night I got caught at the office a little later than usual so I took the next train home. Apparently day light savings time caught up to some people as many fell asleep in their seats. This includes the 300 pound man that sat next to me.

As we roll into my stop, I figure I can just tap him on the shoulder and he’d wake up. Uh, no! Not so lucky! Oh… and did I mention he has noise canceling head phones on so I couldn’t ask him to move. They announce my stop and we come to a halt. People start filing out of the train as I am stuck in my seat which was a three seater with a table on the double decker. I nudge the guy again and he waves me off. What the f*ck buddy? I have to get off the train. GRR!

I contemplate climbing over him but think better of it as I am wearing an adorable plaid jumper and would risk flashing… um no… that wouldn’t be risking, I’d 100% be flashing annnnnd there were two creepy guys sitting on the other side of the table. So, that was out.

I finally “accidentally-on purpose” slam him with my Tumi back pack and his eyes open. I point to the aisle and he finally lets me out. I ran down the aisle just in time to catch the conductor before he put that stairs back up.

Oy Vey! A commuter girls life!

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

C'est La Vie!


Last night I get on the T at State Street and there is this girl with an umbrella stroller and she is covered in muck and dirt. The kid is fine although he is screaming. A sweet woman tries to calm the baby as the disheveled crack head looking mother just sits there.

“Who is so handsome!?” The woman coos at the toddler.  

“Don’t be nice to him. I have had it with him.” The disheveled crack head says with fierce attitude.

Most of the people roll their eyes and I look at the floor. I am sick and do not want to make eye contact!

“Oh, we have all been there. I am sure it’s just a bad day.” The nice lady says to the crack head.

“No! You don’t undah-stand. He threw his bottle on the tracks as the last train came. It is his last bottle that I have. I get $300 a month to survive and have $10 until Friday. I had to miss that train, climb into the subway down below and get his bottle. I can’t afford another bottle.”

At that moment, I truly felt bad for her. I can’t even imagine not having the cash to get a baby bottle! I am so fortunate that I have never had to think about retrieving something from the depths of the subway tracks 4 feet down because I couldn’t afford to replace it.

The woman pretended she didn’t just hear that (along with the rest of the T car) and started playing with the baby who did stop crying once he received positive attention. All smiles actually.

The disheveled crack head looking mom continues her story about how horrible her life is but no one seems to be paying attention and her baby was all smiles for the next two stops. Once the woman left the train, he started crying again. I felt bad for the kid and sorry for the mother but c'est la vie! What can you do?

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Awkward Hair Touching


That awkward moment when a perfect stranger starts touching your hair on the T. When you look over they say “Oh my god! Is your hair real?!”

I reply “Yes it is real!”

They keep feeling my hair “Oh my god. You are so lucky! It is absolutely beautiful!”

Thank god for only 2 stops on the T. I high tailed it out of there pretty quickly! I guess I’ll take that as a compliment as it is 100% humidity today and I had the balls to wear it down today.

Friday, October 3, 2014

Ebola!


I get to the T this morning and it is chilly (I broke out the winter jacket today! I mean… it’s that chilly!). As I am walking down the stairs, the train pulls in. I hop on and this grungy guy with his guitar piles on after me. He could be homeless… it could be the look he is going for. Who knows?!

People on the platform start screaming in to the train “Can you just push down a little?” no one moves! They try again “Please! I am late. I see some room!”

The grungy, potentially homeless, guy screams to the people on the platform “I HAVE EBOLA! F*CK OFF!”

The people on the platform back away and now everyone on the train is laughing because HE BETTER BE F*CKING KIDDING!!!

Happy Friday everyone!

Thursday, October 2, 2014

My Hair is Stuck!


This morning, I pile into the T at North Station. It was rainy and nasty and I just didn’t feel like walking. Well, I guess everyone had that same thought too. As I pile in to the sardine packed train, I think I am the last one on. However, this lady decides SHEEEE will be the last one on.

She piles in behind me and says “I am sooo late for work. I am soo sorry!”

“No worries!” I tell her. I mean, we’ve all been in that position before. Late for work and have no choice.

She stands there with her face planted in this guys back while the door closes. It closes just fine and we all adjust ourselves to get more room when she realizes her hair is stuck in the door. I look out the window and there is her beautiful hair flapping in the breeze scraping up against the nasty, dirty, damp concrete on the other side.

She starts pulling her hair and trying to get it inside the train. It’s not budging.

We finally get to Haymarket and the doors release her hair. She breathes a sigh of relief. No one gets off so she gets off, flips herself around and gets back on. This time facing the door so her hair isn’t stuck outside again. The doors close and this time, he face is flat up against the glass. I don’t know what is worse, damp dirty hair or germs crawling all over your face. I mean, you can always wash your face and reapply make up at work, you can’t however, wash your hair in the sink at work but now she has both to contend with.

All I can say is that I am glad I wore my hair in a cute French braid today and didn’t have to face plant the door!

Ahh… good times on rainy days!

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Bird Watching Expedition


This morning I take a later train in. I find a seat next to an older gentleman with an e-reader. I sit down and he offers to put my bags up top for me. I politely decline because I just don’t like being separated from my Tumi bags! I whip out my phone and start responding to emails and texts.

The man stops reading and looks out the window once we get to the marsh area. He turns to me and says “These are rare to see! You see those birds?” I don’t have my glasses on so I take his word for it and nod saying “What a treat to see them on our way in.”

He now thinks I am interested but really I was only being polite. “Look, there is a heron! You see that?” I don’t see the heron. Again… zero glasses and they tend to blend in with the mud anyways.  I dodge and answer with “Oh, we have heron on the lake in NH.”

“Ahhh! You see the Egrets? Aren’t they just stunning?” I look out the window. I actually see them because they are huge! “Yes! They are beautiful.” I say.

“You know…why aren’t they flying south? Are they confused? It’s getting cold!” he says.

Ensue full on conversation about bird watching. He was an adorable little old man and he reminded me very much of my grandfather. It was at that point, I threw my phone in my purse and gave him my full attention. I may not have been 100% interested in birds but he made an effort to talk to me in a nice way and that deserves my attention. Sometimes human interaction trumps technology!

Monday, September 29, 2014

CVS Guy


Last week I was in CVS on Washington. This guy in line gets talking with me and before I know it, he is ending the conversation with an awkward hug! Well the hug may not have been awkward for him but it certainly was for me. I mean, I go to CVS expecting to be in and out of there and before I leave, a stranger is hugging me. I mean really!?! After the hug, he asked if he could take me shopping with him but I nipped that in the bud and said I had to get back to my very busy work day (Not lying actually! I really did!)

I hop on the sardine packed train this morning and who do I see? CVS Guy! He is two people down from me. I am actually grateful that it’s a S.P.T. because that means he can’t make his way over to me. I don’t have my phone out of my purse because it’s so packed so I can’t pretend to be busy so I flip around as best I can so we can’t make eye contact. When we get to State, I start making my way to the door. So does he. Clearly he works near me. UGH! I try to sneak in behind him so he can’t see me but it’s too late. He sees me and eye contact is made! SH*T SH*T SH*T! I quickly look the other way and HOPE he gets the hint that I am not interested! He did! He quickly turned the other way and headed for the other exit! FEW!! No more awkward hugging!

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Crotch in A*s


I know I haven’t written in a while. It’s not because I didn’t have ammo… it’s because I flat out didn’t have time. I wish I could have posted my mishaps and my new daily characters that I see on my new train. More on them another day!

Today, I board the T at North Station. It is a SPT (Sardine Packed Train)!! Big time. I make my way on and am the last one on board…well I think I am but NOPE, this guy decides that he has places to go and people to see and hops in behind me. Yup! That awkward moment when some strange guys crotch is in you’re a*s! Oh, and to make it even more awkward… he whispers in my ear “I’m sorry!” Oh yes buddy, that little “I’m sorry” made it that much more tolerable that your crotch is touching my a*s! No problem pal!

I stood there plotting my exit while I sipped my pumpkin spice coffee with my free hand. Two stops and I was free!

Happy Fall People!

 

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Drunk Lady and Her Ripped Jeans


A few weeks ago, I board the 5:15pm train home and sit in an aisle seat on the double decker. The two seater next to me has an aisle seat open and a business man sitting at the window. This woman, totally slurring her words comes up behind me and starts talking to the business man.

“Where are you getting off?” she slurs

“Ipswich.” He says.

“That’ll do!” She slurs some more. “Wait, can I sit down?” Clearly she isn’t a normal train commuter because we don’t ask to sit. We just sit! Open seat is anyone’s game.

“Sure! Sure!” he says while he grasps desperately to his Kindle!

“HEY!! Did you know someone pushed me out of the T! PUSHED ME! See my knee! Ripped my new jeans! SEE? OH MY GOD!! IS THAT BLOOD!!!!!” She starts screaming.

I am TEMPTED to get a Band Aid out of my purse since I have some BUUT think better of it since I have a half hour to go and don’t want to get stuck talking to her. I burry my head further into my book!

“Oh my! That is terrible.” The guy says while trying to be nice.

“This train is packed! You do this sh*t every day? Every day! Where are you going? How long is that?” She slurs on.

“Ipswich.  It’s not too bad.” He says and returns to his reader.

“Did I tell you someone pushed me out of the T! Look! Ripped my jeans! IS THAT BLOOD!?” she repeats her story!

He whispers “I think you may have had a bit too much to drink.”

“Drink!? NOOO! I gave up drinking!” she says in a very matter of fact way.

The guy remains silent. If she isn’t drinking…what is she on I wonder!

“Have you seen my knee? Someone pushed me! Pushed me from the T you know!”

AND it went on and on until I finally got off! Poor guy had a few more stops with her, her ripped jeans and her bloody knee!

Monday, August 18, 2014

80 Degree Sardine Tin on Wheels


Oh  Hello Monday! This morning I get to the train station and the train is running late. Since I have 2 dozen cupcakes in my cupcake carrier and a coffee in my other hand, I neglect to look at my phone to see any MBTA updates. I just assume it’s running the few minutes behind that it usually does. The train pulls in and I board. That my friends, is when I realize that there are no seats available! NONE what so ever!

I walk down the aisle and figure that I can try the next car but I stop abruptly half way down the aisle. Everyone is packed into the aisle and not moving. I now, have to stand in the aisle holding my work bag, purse, two dozen cupcakes and my coffee! I am less than thrilled!! The conductor closes up the doors and we begin rolling and that is when I realize, there is no A/C!! It was sweltering in there!

I drink my coffee quickly so I can stash the cup in my purse and free up a hand. It was a good thing I freed up a hand because the train conductor instructed us to lean to one side as he went down the aisle to look at passes. Someone said he couldn’t possibly and he showed him that yes…yes he would plow down the aisle and check everyone’s passes.

I reach my one available hand into my purse and dig for my pass. It takes me a second but I manage to get it out without whacking or elbowing anyone! As the conductor gets to me, he sees my cupcakes. I got a “ ‘Sup! How you doin’?” from him.  As everyone looks at me. AWKWARD!!

After he passes me, I get curious as to the temperature of the train. I have an app for that! I dig out my phone and one handedly get to my app. 80 degrees with a 65% humidity! It really is sweltering and I can’t even take off my cardigan  and thank god I didn’t waste my time curling my hair today!

We finally roll in to North Station and I can’t wait to get off the train…let alone, revive the feeling in my arm that has been carrying 10 pounds of cupcakes for the last half hour!

When I get to my desk I see a slew of MBTA updates! Oh, the earlier express train was canceled and therefore, everyone from that train, was on my train. I wish I had a free arm at the platform, had I known that, I would have waited for the next train. I don’t mind standing but I do mind when I am holding extra items and it is an 80 degree sardine tin on wheels!

Happy Monday everyone! I hope your week started better than mine!

Monday, August 11, 2014

WRONG TRAIN!


Welllllllll, I did it! I did it! I did it! I did it! I got on the wrong train (and if you are my friend on Facebook, you already know that)! Last Friday, I got to leave work early. I left at 4:06pm and was aiming for the 4:20 train. I power walked my a*s to North Station like a champ! I get to North Station, look at the board and see the Newburyport line is now boarding on track 6. When I was by the board near that tracks, I never looked up to double check and then when I entered the track, I never looked to triple check, I just kept running!

Every single day I triple check the boards because you never know! As I ran down the track towards the train I see my old conductor. Nope, that didn’t give it away my friends because I figured they hop around on different trains and since this was an earlier train, I had thought nothing of it. I get on, grab a seat and am all cozy when all of a sudden I hear “WEST MEDFORD!” I let out an “Are you f*cking kidding me?” which I think is under my breath but maybe not because everyone around me looked at me like “Did she just say that?” Um, ya people, I just did! And while you’re at it…move out of my way because apparently this is my stop now so that I can turn my a*s around!

I hop off the train and find a lovely bench. It was a great day for site seeing as my friend pointed out. Yes, I sat on the bench and site saw the Medford Dunkin Donuts. Such a delightful little spot.

The train back to Boston finally arrived and I hopped on. I got back to North Station just in time for the 5:15pm train to Newburyport…my normal train.  So much for getting out of work early but at least I wasn’t delayed on getting home any later than I usually do.

So here is my theory:  I must have looked at the board during mid-change where they take one train off and move all of the other ones up. This has happened before to me but because I double and triple check, I never got on the wrong train because of it. So, lesson learned! No matter how much of a hurry I am in, triple check!

Thursday, July 31, 2014

That Awkward Moment When...


That awkward moment when the balding, 50-something year old man next to you starts crying his eyes out. He leans over and puts his head between his knees. I look over to see if he is ok. I am not sure what to do. Do I ask him if he is ok? Do I just keep quiet so I don’t insult his manhood? All I wanted to do was offer him a tissue and a mint. Don’t ask me why I felt compelled to give him an Altoid but I thought he might want one. Sugar always makes me happy so maybe that’s why I wanted to reach for the tin.

His phone went off. It wasn’t on silent. It was like a bomb sound. I looked at caller ID (Um, how do I not when it’s right there sounding like a bomb and my book totally does not have my interest anymore?) It said “The Office”. He didn’t hit ignore. He just let it ring until it went to voicemail. He then dives back into his knees and starts choking. Ah, HA! I knew I my mints could come in handy. I start ruffling through my bag and he pops up and gives me the meanest look possible. I stop rummaging and burry my head in my book and fake read. FINE buddy! You don’t get a mint and tissues! Not after that look.

I sit and try to now ignore what is going on next to me until I get off. Of course he gets off at my stop!

Holy awkward!

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Lost 2 Monthly Passes


So, for all of you monthly pass holders that are on an automatic replenishment system, you will certainly be able to feel for this guy.

The other night, I hop on the train and sit down in a packed train. The conductor comes through and I hear someone say “What do you want me to do? I lost it!” The conductor ignores this and walks by. A little while later he comes back and I hear the guy say to the conductor “Both of ‘em went down the crack! My July and my August!” (August passes just came in the mail) I look over and he flashes his lanyard that is missing the clip.

Everyone from that 3 seater gets up while the conductor tries to locate the passes that fell down the crack of the seat. This turns in to quite a production. Then the guy says “Well, maybe they aren’t down there. Maybe they fell off before I got on the train.” The conductor is pissed “You mean to tell me you aren’t even sure if they are down there?” The guy meekly says “Noooo” The conductor walks away with his hands up and everyone sits back down.

Sucks to be that guy though! It isn’t even August and he lost his August monthly pass that I am sure cost a pretty penny. This is why I keep my passes zipped in separate compartments when I get my new monthly pass and still have a few days left on my other pass.I haven’t lost my pass ever but this would absolutely suck! To replace my pass, I could have purchased two pair of nice shoes instead…and I always need (want) new shoes!!!

Monday, July 21, 2014

Walking and Texting


So, last Friday, there was a dead bird on the platform at the train station. Well, it was still there this morning too. I was fortunate enough to have noticed him/her on Friday and avoid it. I also remembered this morning while walking on the platform that he/she was there on Friday and checked to see if he/she was picked up. He/She was not and I avoided he/she for another time. However, this one girl came walking up on the platform with her face in her phone guess what she did?

Yup, she stepped on the dead bird… in flip flops! Ya! That happened. So people, get your face out of your phone while you are walking! Seriously. Pull over to the side of the sidewalk if it is that important because otherwise, you slow people up, walk into things, walk off of things, fall into things!

Recap- Don’t walk and text at the same time. It’s not as easy as walking and chewing gum at the same time!

That is all!   

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Oh Don't Worry....


Oh don’t worry buddy, that’s just my shin you are stabbing with your massive golf umbrella. It’s ok. I don’t bruise easily or anything!

Yesterday, as I am darting to the train, it was raining only lightly so many people were carrying their umbrella’s closed instead of open and over them. Since mine is a compact Coach umbrella that fits adorably in my oversized  Tumi work purse, I could conceal mine. However, this a*shole in front of me had a huge a*s golf umbrella that he was carrying horizontally. While carrying horizontally, he was swinging his arms back and forth as many do while walking. It was crowded so we are all in the herd of sheeple together. Each time he moved his arms back and forth, his lovely pointy umbrella poked-jabbed my shin. My very skinny-bruises-easily-shin! I can’t afford bruises as I may have upcoming photo shoots that need my shins happy and healthy so I am quickly annoyed.

I dart out and around him on the opposite side of the platform and give him a little stare down while I pass him to save my lovely porcelain shins from more abuse!

Quick Recap:

·         Don’t carry huge a*s oversized golf umbrella’s, while walking in the herd of sheeple, horizontally!

THAT IS ALL!

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Bad Hair Day


Today everyone on the train had bad hair… including me! Well, that’s debatable depending on how you look at it. I am not sporting my usual barrel curled coif which I am not happy about! No no my friend! I am sporting a slicked back ballerina bun! It is SUPER cute! Actually, while I was boarding the train, people were staring at me so much that I assumed I had something stuck on my face. I whipped out my phone and threw that sh*t on selfie mode to check my face…nope! Nothing stuck to my face so it must be cute! I don’t think I have sported an actual slicked back ballerina bun since my gymnastics days but all of a sudden once I had the bun in my hair, I felt like I should be in a leotard charging down the vaulting runway or preparing for my next tumble pass. I also noticed that while waiting for that train, my toes kept finding themselves in a ballerina position. Funny how something just brings you right back.

Anyways, back to bad hair! Every girl had their hair in some version of a bun or pony tail today. It made me feel better about my decision not to fight with my coif and just succumb to the fact that the humidity is obnoxious but the humidity can go away any time now and I will keep gaging my bad hair days among the rest of the commuters.

Monday, July 14, 2014

And That's Normal


This morning I hop on the T at a different car than normal because I have to go to CVS to grab something before I head to the office. Two girls pile in next to me and one says to the other “I had a mental break down on Friday.” The other girl is dumb founded and just looks at her. “I don’t know what happened. I just lost it.” The other girl still has nothing to say but the mental breakdown girl keeps going. “I just have a lot going on I think and I just snapped but I’m ok now. Right…I’m ok now? Right?” as if she is asking her friend (acquaintance maybe?) if she seems back to normal today.

Happy Monday people! What have we learned today?

·         Don’t talk about your mental breakdowns on the train. That might be TMI!

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

I Just Might Choke Someone...and I Saw My Favorite Conductor


A few days ago, I found out that the Middlesex court did not change my name as I wanted and because I had moved out of the county before they were done processing it, they “couldn’t” finish processing it! I was BULL SH*T! They told me it would take four weeks to process; I left the county at exactly the 4 week mark. I called Monday because it had been 6 weeks and guess what, they shredded my application, all forms I left with them and my checks! I was told I had to go REAPPLY at my new county!

So, I do. I go there with all of my paperwork. I go to whip out my check book and as I go to make out the check, I am told that they no longer take personal checks! This is how it goes down:

Court Lady-  “We don’t take personal checks.”

Me- “ Your website states you do.”

Court Lady- “Too many bounced checks. We don’t take ‘em. Get a money order.”

Me- “I have a great credit score and I have never bounced a check. You’re really not going to take a check from me?”

Court Lady- “No! Money Order.”

Me- “Cash?” (Don’t ask me why I had this much cash on me but I did for some reason.)

Court Lady- “No!”

I leave and head to the post office with tears rolling down my face. I have HAD it with Massachusetts and their bull sh*t!

Roll into the post office. This goes down:

Mail Lady- “And who will you make this money order out to?”

Me- “Essex Probate Divorce Court”

Mail Lady-“ Do you need anything else?”

Me- “Yes! Do you have lovey dovey heart stamps? I need a book for my sisters bridal shower invitations!”

Mail Lady- “ OH! The irony!”

Entire line of people behind me laughs…not sure if it was with me or at me!

Head back to the court and walk up to the counter with my paperwork. A different girl is behind the counter. I whip out my check book where I stored my money order for safe keeping and she grabs a stamp and says “If you need to write a check, you can use this stamper for the “to” portion of the check.”

I just about jumped through the glass! I wanted to just choke someone!!! BUT I held it together because that’s what I do and I didn’t want my paperwork getting ‘lost in the shuffle’. I just want my god damned name back!

Anyway, I book it to the train station as I am super late for work as it is. I hop on the 1050-ish train. I am stewing in my seat with anger when all of a sudden, I hear my name! It’s Joe! My favorite conductor! He has one train a day that goes out my way in my new place and it happened to be the one I jumped on! He sat and chatted with me the rest of the ride in. I didn’t mention my day, I just said that with the move I had to update info and he trailed off on a tale that made my day seem minimally bad. It’s always nice to see a familiar face and after chatting with him, I felt much better.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Train Schedule!


I have GOT to learn the train schedule. This morning, I got up and got ready. Since it is going to be hot and sticky today, I paid extra attention to my hair! That being said, I look at the clock…which I don’t have many of in my new place for some reason and panic when I see that it is 7:34am and I know my train comes at 7:41am. I give my dog a kiss on the head, grab my coffee and scoot out the front door. I figure seven minutes is enough time to walk two blocks but the second I shut my front door, I hear the train pull in.
I start running down the street and round the corner. It is right in front of the station. As I am running, I realize my coffee is splashing everywhere. I hold it as far away from my body as possible because I am wearing my brand new Armani Cashmere shell and like hell am I getting coffee on that! I contemplated putting my coffee down on the sidewalk and picking up my to-go cup later but thought better of it since I don’t want my new neighborhood peeps to think I liter.
As I get closer, I see the train pulling away. However, it’s pulling away in the opposite direction. I ran for nothing! I put my Armani Cashmere shell in danger for nothing! I had heard the outbound train and not the inbound train. I guess I just had to jump start my day with a nice morning jog!
Note to self: The outbound train will arrive slightly before your inbound train! Got it!

Monday, June 30, 2014

First Day of School


 
 
Today was my first day at my new train stop! I was so excited. I got up early and took the dog for a walk. I’m trying to get her back on a schedule after a little confusion and chaos thrown into her life.

After our walk, I came home and grabbed the outfit I set out. It was like the first day at school or a new bus stop. I needed to look my best. I put on my Lilly Pulitzer dress for the occasion (It’s business casual this week at work so I could do that!). Once I was done getting ready, I scooted out the front door and WALKED to the train station! I didn’t drive! This was awesome! 6 minute walk and I was there!

As I was waiting on the platform, an express train flew by kicking up the wind and sand just flew everywhere. This is usually not a problem. However, I decided to use the Body Shops body butter on my legs today since my legs took a beating this weekend while I moved in. I also used Honey Trap lip balm on my lips from Lush. Um, well, when the train comes by and kicks up sand it’s more like “Sand Trap” lip balm. My goodness! My legs and lips now had little tiny granules stuck to them.

I hope this train doesn’t whiz by daily like that because I need to wear lotion. As I found out while packing, I have enough lotion to last me for the next 10 years and while unpacking my mother told me I am not allowed to by lotion ever again! SO, as you can see…it is mandatory for me to wear lotion every single day to justify my purchases of lotion. If I can’t wear lotion every day… well, I will then have enough lotion to supply me for the next 20 years! AND PS: Bath and Body Works just had their HUGE sale and I got their emails DAILY advertising it and it took ALL of my will power to stay at my desk and not run down the Down Town Crossing and grab as many sweet smelling lotions as I could buy! Yup! Absolutely KILLED ME! So, another reason to wear lotion every single day and apply it morning, noon and night… I get to go buy MORE!

Anyway, aside from that sand sticking to my lotioned legs and glossed lips, my new commute was smooth sailing! 

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Yup! I Lost My Car!


Last night I went on a fabulous harbor cruise. (Or as we locals call it “Habah cruise”). I had a few glasses of wine and finished the evening off with a Bombay Sapphire Sparkler Martini. It was delicious. After the cruise I walked over to North Station and caught the 9:40pm train. Meanwhile, the place was swarming with police and ambulances. Didn’t know what was going on and didn’t feel like asking or getting in the way since I was almost hit by a police SUV in the crosswalk on my way in. Ya, that really happened and when I was standing their totally blown away I go “REALLY! Did that really happen?” and the officer on the other side of the street just shrugged.

Once I got in the station, I googled who was at the Garden and low and behold it was Avicii. On the way in this morning, I heard on the radio while stuck in traffic that several people were taken into the hospital due to heat exhaustion, alcohol and drug abuse. So, that explains all the commotion.

Anywho… Last night, I get off at Anderson-Woburn and there are hardly any cars in the parking lot. I look in the general direction of where I parked and I do not see my car at all. I start thinking to myself “Did you get on here this morning? Did you park somewhere else? Was it stolen? Please don’t be stolen, I just want to go home. I didn’t drink thaaat much. Am I losing my mind?” I keep walking in the direction of where I am pretty sure I parked because I don’t want to look confused to the other people who got off. My pepper spray was on the bottom of my purse and I didn’t want anyone to see that I could be a confused little target!  

I see a huge SUV where I am pretty sure I parked. I look below the SUV to see if I can see the tires of my small SUV and I don’t see them. I panic! Then… I hit my panic button on my key chain to see if I could hear my car! This has worked several times during the holiday season at the mall!!

All of a sudden from behind the huge SUV I hear my little SUV crying out and see the lights flashing like crazy! AHH!! Panic is officially gone and now everyone else in the parking lot sees my car freaking out. Oh well! I definitely won’t be a confused little target now. No one wants to go near a car with the alarm going off.

So, technically I did lost my car…but it was found! Two more days to go and then I’ll totally throw a wrench in things… I’ll have to learn a new train line! Who wants to take bets I hop on my old train line before I get into the swing of things…maybe I just set an outlook setting until I am in the habit of not getting on the Lowell line….

Monday, June 23, 2014

Traffic Can Suck It!


It is a miracle I made the train today! Oh wait… I’d like to congratulate myself for making it an entire week without losing my car! We all know how when you get in to a routine, it’s easy to just be on autopilot for that routine and changing it can throw a wrench into things! So, Yay for me!

Ok, back to miracles and making the train! Good lord! The traffic coming from NH this morning was crazy! It must have been all the people enjoying their NH getaways an extra day because even in NH, I saw a sea of MASS plates (myself included) heading south!

I tried very hard to cut people off so I could get ahead of things but I was surrounded by motorcycles and 18 wheelers and…well… you don’t cut off 18 wheelers because that is their room they left themselves to stop and you don’t cut of bikes. Period! End of story and if you cut off a bike, well then you’re just an a*shole.

So, stuck in my little spot with my windows down and some Calvin Harris blasting, I tried not to stress out. I finally got off the highway with 4 minutes to catch the train! Yup. 4 whole minutes to get through a stop light, go about a about three quarters of a mile, pay the parking attendant, park (PS- the only spot available are in east bum f*ck of the parking lot so that was awesome), run to the train and get on the platform before 7:38!

No pressure right!?! WRONG! I got off the highway and flew through the green light and toward the train station. I grabbed my sparkly shiny dollar coins left over from my previous train station parking needs, pulled up to the attendant with the windows down and practically threw my sparkly shiny dollar coins at him while grabbing the parking pass from his hands. I sped off to the most awesome parking spot I could find and ran two-tenths of a mile (I have an app for that!) to the platform. As I got on the platform, the train pulled in and ensue…miracle! I made it!

Happy Monday!

Friday, June 20, 2014

Dude! Where's My Car?


This morning I get on the train and I see the conductor that I usually see on my way home. He looks at me funny as I walk by to board the train at my new stop.

As he is checking passes, he leans in and asks me “What is the most important thing to remember today?” I look up and go “Hmm…What?”

“I am not going to be on the 5:30 train to remind you of this but the most important thing to remember is get off at ANDERSON!! Write it on your hand! Do you have a pen? If you get off at North Billerica, you are going to be upset because your car will not be there!”

I looked up and go “I’ll put it in my Outlook!”

“You better!” he says “It’s Friday! You don’t want to waste this day trying to search down your car!”

I had to laugh! I am impressed. He is a good conductor. Not only does he recognize me, he knows where I typically get on and off!
I am also impressed with the fact that, if I...rephrase...WHEN I get off at Anderson today, I will have gone one full week without losing my car! Let's hope for two weeks in a row!!

Happy Friday everyone!

Thursday, June 19, 2014

I'll Smoosh You!


So, last night while getting off at my new train stop, the door from the new double decker wasn’t latching open so as we walked through, we each had to hold the door open for ourselves. As I walked through, I got ready to pass off the door to the girl behind me. She just kept walking through as if I should hold the door for her. UM, NO! That is not how this works. I let go of the door and it smacked into her pretty hard. I thought to myself “Woopsy B*tch! Pay attention and hold the damn door for yourself.” BUT I didn’t say that. I just turned around, shrugged and smiled. Now she knows for next time…

Quick Recap:

·         Grab the door if it’s not latched open while you walk through it otherwise some b*tch (me) will slam it shut and smoosh you!

THE END!

Monday, June 16, 2014

New Hampshah Girl

So, for the next two weeks, I am back in New Hampshire. Getting up at the crack of dawn to head to my new train station…well it’s not new. I have driven through it every day on my way in and out of the city because it’s on the same line as my old train station stop…which could pose a problem you see.

Getting on there isn’t exactly the problem. It’s remembering to get off there that will be the problem. Who wants to place bets here?

A.      Will I be a Forgetful Jones and  get caught up talking or in a good book and completely forget to get off the train two stops prior to my old stop to go to my car, get off at my old stop, realize my car isn’t there and then have to take a train back two stops to get to my car?

B.      I make it the full two weeks without forgetting to get off early and get to my car with no problems to head back to NH.

We shall have to wait and see…

Friday, June 13, 2014

Watah Bubblah


This morning I was tempted to take a later train in so I could get a little packing out of the way before the weekend and my big move. I thought for a second and decided to take my normal early train in because I’d be taking time out for closings and shouldn’t piss away my time out of work on packing.

I get to the train station on time and that’s when I read the scroll that my train had been canceled! Awesome! MBTA didn’t feel like emailing me that alert apparently. Thanks for that! Apparently I signed up for email alerts so I am apprised of the situation as it’s happening instead of being warned in advance as it’s supposed to do but whatever…MBTA does what they want.

I head inside because it’s raining and stand by the watah bubblah (That’s a water fountain for of you who are outside of Boston). I figured if I stood there I’d be out of the way. BOY was I wrong! Do you know how many people asked me to move so they could get to the bubblah? A ton! I honestly thought those things were like payphones…there for decoration!

When the later train pulls up, which is the express train… ya know, the one I was going to take so I could pack but instead I stood by the watah bubblah for 45 minutes instead, we are told that it is no longer an express train and they’d be making all the stops. AWESOME! So, I left my house at 7am and got to the office at 9am. This was a very productive use of my time this morning. I guess I should just always trust my intuition because had I just stayed home and packed, I would have caught the same train anyways.

So tell me… do you use a watah bubblah or are you just as grossed out by them as I am?

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

And the Bad Day Continues


Oh, and the bad day continues. Well, it didn’t technically continue but the effects from that day carried over into another day. So, maybe it did continue…

Yesterday, I had my fire safety certificate inspection in the morning since I am selling my home. I had to wait at the house and therefore take a later train in.

The fire department came and checked out all 50 million detectors needed in my home. The alarms went off just fine and the dog freaked out the entire time. At the very end, the department needed a hammer and screw driver. I came out with a flat head that I had lying around in a drawer. Well, they needed a Philips. Then I remembered, I have a tool set of my very own and it’s a good thing I didn’t put it in storage. I ran to the garage, grabbed my pink tool set and came back up. They laughed at me but hey… it got the job done right? Much better than using my stiletto as a hammer…which I may or may not have done before.

Anyway, they leave at 10am and I have just enough time to make it to the train station for the 10:23am train. I pull in one parking lot. It’s totally full so I head to the next one. THAT one is totally full too so I say “Screw it! I’ll invent a spot!”

I invent my spot and tell myself I’ll just have to pay the $10 fine when I get back. THEN it dawned on me If it happens again, we’ll tow you. That’s $100.” F*CK! I put my keys back in my ignition and thank my lucky stars I remembered that because I would have LOST IT if I came back and my car was gone!

I try to figure out what parking lot has ample parking and start driving towards it. I hoped I’d catch that same train just a little further down the line. I get off the highway at Anderson Woburn and am SO close I can taste it and just before I go to pay to park, the train comes and goes! It is an hour until the next train comes. I decide I don’t want to sit for an hour so I drive by the parking attendant booth and leave. My options are Target (I avoid that store like the plague! Too many obnoxious kids!), PetSmart (If I buy anything in there for the dog, I will only have to move it.), Petco (Same problem-o) Bob’s Furniture (Ding Ding Ding).

I stop at Bob’s. I am generally NOT a fan of Bob’s as it is discount furniture and I don’t do chincy cheap stuff. It’s about quality! BUT I look around for ideas for my new place. I am surprised at what I see. There is a cute bar I like and a nice fold out couch with a “Bob O Pedic” for my guest room… just the word “Bob O Pedic” makes me cringe. I see a cute chair and ottoman for my living room too. This is hard because it all LOOKS good but will it last? The nice lady is trying to get me to buy them that day. I tell her that I can’t purchase anything right now as I am being watched like a hawk by my mortgage company while I try to buy the place so once I can spend my own money, I’ll be back. Plus, I didn’t have that much time, I had to go back to catch the train.

Silver lining… I missed my train and had to drive to Woburn and miss my train again…but I got to get some cute ideas for my new place. It’s up to me though to figure out if it’s worth the gamble of buying at Bob’s!  

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Mea and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Days


Two… Yup TWO consecutive horrible days. It all started when I went to the Social Security Office to get my maiden name back. I had all my paperwork ready and was going to catch a later train in. I wait in the waiting room with two thugs sitting next to me talking about how easy it is to steal parts off cars! I cringed the entire time I was there and hoped that they don’t need any Jeep Wrangler parts since I am most likely going to still be in the waiting room when they leave.

I am finally called and the clerk tells me that I have the wrong paper and that a box needed to be checked and that I have to go BACK to court because something must have gotten lost in the shuffle and the paper I needed with the box that I needed checked wasn’t there. I was heartbroken.

I call the court to see what they can do for me. I had to go in…but she takes lunch from 1pm to 2pm so don’t come then.

I head to the train station to catch the 11:23pm train in to the city. If it’s on time, I can make it before 1pm. I get to the parking lot and there aren’t any spots. I park in one that is just barely a spot. I also decided I don’t want to lug my work bag around with me so I grab my book and a snack out of my bag and leave it in the car.

I head to the platform to eat my snack. I am flustered and you can probably see the pain in my eyes. There is a homeless guy sleeping on the bench so I lean on the cement wall and eat my snack. The homeless guy wakes up and immediately starts talking to me. I don’t know why they all talk to me but they do. We start talking about food and he reminisces about his child hood in the Bronx.

As we are talking, I open up my liter of Seltzer. Yes, I have 1 liter of Seltzer. I like to stay hydrated. He stops me before I take a sip “You haven’t had any yet right?” I shake my head no. “Can you pour some into my cup please?” So, of course I did. It kind of caught me off guard a bit but why not give him some… I had an entire liter!

As the train pulled up he said to me “Ya know, I bet the worst you isn’t even bad.” It’s an odd statement but it stuck with me.

While on the train, it decides to die on the tracks! While we are dead on the tracks, my realtor calls and says that the seller of the house I am moving in to would like to extend the closing date. My heart sank some more. GREAT! Now, I can extend MY “homelessness” while I am in between houses. Although, my “homelessness” involves staying at my dad’s lake house with a boat and a hot tub so, I mean… I shouldn’t be complaining but still, having no “home”  and living out of a suit case really stinks.

I get into North Station and am waiting for the Green line while cursing the Commuter Rail for being an entire half hour late. I realize there is no way I am making it to the court house by 1pm. I head to work on the Orange line to wrap up a few things and then head over to the court house later.

The woman at the court house was harsh and there I was, in court, fighting for a name I never wanted to give up. She finally says something that struck a nerve. I don’t even remember what she said but I have held myself together this entire time and now, standing in court I get all teary. The second I have tears in my eyes, the lady changes her tone and offers me jelly beans and a tissue. I accept the tissue.  As I do I hear in my head “Ya know, I bet the worst you isn’t even bad.”

I leave court and take myself shopping. Retail therapy! AHH! Even if I am only looking at washers and driers for my new place…it was still helpful. (Then I made my way from Sears into the Galleria and found a cute top to go with a new pair of shorts that I got…Making an outfit that is SUPER perfect for a day time date!)

After shopping I manage to catch an early train home and meet up with my friend on the train. My day is getting better…until…

I get to the train station, back to my car and I have a ticket! A f*cking ticket! I grab the envelope off the windshield and stomp my little high healed feet in to the station (No commuter shoes that day. I wanted to look good while in court!)

The guy is in there and I ask him “What’s this?! To refresh your memory, I have the Wrangler!” He says “Oh, your tire was in a tow zone. That’s a $10 fine. If it happens again, we’ll tow you. That’s $100.” My reply was “Well, if the guy next to me didn’t take up one and a half spaces, I wouldn’t be in the tow zone.” He shrugs. I grab a $10 bill from my purse and throw that and the envelope at him. I again hear in my head “Ya know, I bet the worst you isn’t even bad.” But realize that I probably shouldn’t throw things at strangers…although it was only paper and doesn’t hurt so whatever.

I go home and relax and play outside with my dog. I figure things can’t possibly get worse.

The next morning, the commute in was nice. My friend got the same train as me and we chit chatted all the way in and the train was on time! Great start to my fresh new day…until…

I get to my desk and have to take a call where I am blown away at the stupidity and selfishness of people! Just… blown… away! I have to leave my desk and hide in our freight elevator bank while I pull myself together…NEVER cry at your office! NEVER!! So, while I sat in the freight elevator bank, where I know, no one from my office will enter, I  try to grasp what the f*ck is wrong with people? I heard the man again in my head “Ya know, I bet the worst you isn’t even bad.”

That homeless man I met on the platform will never know and I will never see him again but he got me through my worst two days I have had in a long time because he is right…if this is the worst for me, then that’s not that bad. I know everything will iron itself out eventually and I will be “Mea” again. Things could be much much worse.

Monday, June 2, 2014

Explosion at Haymarket T Stop


 Friday my friend and I got together and were going to walk to North Station. However, it started to sprinkle out and it looked like it could potentially down pour so we decided to catch the T at State.

We board the T and head to the next stop. The doors open, people get off, people get on and then the doors close. We go about 2 feet when we hear a big bang and the train stops dead. The doors fly open and we hear over the loud speaker “Ladies and Gentlemen! We must evacuate the train!” I am nonchalant about this as I have had to evacuate before and it’s usually nothing. However, my friend gets out of the train, looks to her left at the first car and sees smoke and people stampeding their way over to us while screaming. She motions for me to run and I do. She books it up the stairs and someone walking slowly is stuck in front of me. I dart around the girl and she says “What is going on?” I tell her “I don’t know but hurry up!” I don’t think I have ever run up three flights of stairs so fast in my LIIIIIFE! Good thing I had my commuter shoes on!

My friend and I finally make it out of the station and regroup as we walk quickly away from the building. We had absolutely no idea what was going on. All we knew was that there was smoke and people running in all directions screaming. It could have been anything…a bomb, a shooting, a fire… we just kept on going away from the building. We finally got about a block and a half away before we heard the sirens.

When we got to the commuter rail, we tried googling to see if we could find out what it was…nothing was posted yet but I am pretty sure it wasn’t as bad as we thought it was because the T-Alert that I got stated that there were 'minor' delays due to a disabled train at Haymarket but go ahead…ask me if I took the T this morning on my way in to work! Negative! However, on Wednesday when it’s raining, I may change my tune!

Friday, May 30, 2014

5th Graders and I was Quoted!


This morning I board the train and snag a seat all to myself. It seems like it is going to be a pretty quiet day on the train today until… Anderson/Woburn! Yup! An entire class of fifth graders, their chaperons and their siblings boarded the train and sat where… NEXT TO ME!

A woman not part of the class sits with me in our three seater and then she scoots in to the middle seat which allows someone from this class to sit. Wouldn’t you know it’s a mom…with two young kids…who wish to both sit on her lap so my three seater turned into a five seater! AWESOME! I try to continue reading while I was squished up against the window but they keep talking and I swear to GOD if I heard “And he huffed and he puffed and he blew the house down.” One more freakin’ time, I was gonna choke someone! My coffee, which is vital in the morning to me, had not kicked in yet and I couldn’t take it!

We finally pull in to North Station and the lovely mom on the end of the seat with the two kids lets me and the lady next to me out first so that we didn’t have to be stuck with her crew. How thoughtful and I very much appreciated it.

I darted to the T and hoped that I wouldn’t be on the T with them… and PS if they tried to go on the T during rush hour, they’d lose everyone. There is no way a crew of that size would get on in one shot. Sooo, I lucked out and they didn’t get on the T. YAY!

Then, while I am waiting for the train a guy behind me goes to a girl behind me “Let’s take the Green line. This one is going to be what the Train Girl calls ‘Sardine Packed’!” YUP! FOR REAL made my day!! I didn’t say anything because I try to be inconspicuous but I was glowing inside and that one line made up for my entire train ride of the Three Little Pigs!

Happy Friday Everyone! Enjoy the weekend!

Thursday, May 29, 2014

I'm the Boo


This morning my 9 year old Pointer had a lot of energy so I took her on an extra-long walk and caught a later train in. Well, I just barely caught the later train! As I dashed through the parking lot to the parking pay machine I made eye contact with the conductor. Eye contact is key! Then they feel mean when they leave without you! (Most of the time anyways)

I pay with my “sparkly shiny dollar coins” and hop on the train. As I walk by the conductor I say a heartfelt “Thank you!”

I find a seat and take out my train pass. As she makes her way by me she says “Thanks Boo!”

AWW! She called me Boo. I just thought it was so cute. Much more endearing than the usual “Tha-Que, Tha-Que, Tha-Que” I am used to...which most of the time it sounds like he is saying "Fah-Que, Fah-Que, Fah-Que." He very well could be saying "Fah-Que" but i don't want to believe it!

Friday, May 23, 2014

Got Wet on the Train



Oh it’s raining and you want your umbrella out of your way. Well, let me tell you where it doesn’t go! It does NOT go on the overhead rack while it’s soaking wet so it can dry out and drip on my f*cking head! That’s where it doesn’t go! I use an umbrella outside to prevent this from happening so guess what? I don’t want to use it in the train to prevent it from happening because while in the train, I should not be getting soaking wet!

That’s it! The End!

Happy Friday Everybody!

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Identity Theft and Flowbee Haircuts


This morning, as I am waiting for the train, this woman gets a phone call and opens up her cute little wallet-slash-phone holder to pick it up. She then folds her wallet flap over the back of the phone and starts talking.

As I am standing there I can see her credit card numbers and her license with all of her personal info on it. How stupid can one be? I mean, she is lucky I am an honest person and would never try to take her identity…plus, she has a hideous flowbee hair cut…so no thanks to that identity.

Anyway people, let’s get one thing straight, when you are on public transit… or anywhere for that matter, you are among people from all walks of life including bad people SO here is a lesson for today because it is sh*tty to have your identity stolen: Don’t put your credit cards and personal info on something you wave around in public for all to see.

That is all!

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Velcro Shoes and Fashion Police!


 
 
OK, I am pretty sure everyone knows that wearing double Velcro shoes past the age of 2 is just flat out wrong! Okay…Okay, I will admit that I have a pair of LaCoste Velcro shoes but…they are freakin’ LaCoste! OK! Wearing the double strip Velcro shoes obtained only at…Wal-Mart is just offensive.

This morning I missed my normal train and took a later express train in to work. This guy comes up next to me with “dad jeans” on and double Velcro Wal-Mart shoes. I mean REALLY buddy! Who wears that and do your kids know you are walking around in public like that? I assume you have kids because you have “dad jeans” on! I would NEVER have let my dad walk out of the house like that…never!

As I sit and wait for the train I start racking my brain and if memory serves me right… and it usually does, this guy sported Napoleon Dynamite Moon Boots this winter so I mean maybe he is just stuck in an era. However, WHAT era was it where it was acceptable to wear double Velcro shoes or Moon Boots with “dad jeans”? UM, NEVER!!

Luckily, while packing, I found my “Fashion Police” tickets! I will have to stash that note pad in my purse for future occasions!