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Friday, September 27, 2013

Keep Your Damn Germs to Yourself!

Soooo, this morning, I sit down on the train and open my book. I am reading all nice and quiet when this woman behind me starts hacking up her lung. I mean big, juicy, flemmy, nastiness. I mean gross! I can’t even concentrate on my book. All I can envision is her gross nasty spray settling on my hair. Is there antibacterial spray for hair? If so, I need it. All I want to do is take a shower. I can feel the bronchitis/pneumonia settling in and making its home in my lungs right now. Every year around this time I get pneumonia on top of bronchitis on top of asthma. It’s lovely really! I get to feel like I am dying and can’t breathe. It’s getting to the point where I got to the Dr.’s office and say “It’s like last year. Give me a steroid inhaler, codeine and some antibiotics.” They sign the script and I am off to CVS in fifteen minutes flat. However, if people didn’t cough all over me and spew their nasty flem cough on me, this wouldn’t happen.

Keep your germs to yourself people! I don’t want them! Mark my words. I’m getting sick soon. Mark my words! GRRRRRRRRRRR!

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Falls on the Tracks

This is truly remarkable! This is at North Station where I go every day. Where this guy falls, is where I stand to wait. I only hope that if anything like this happened to me, that the people around me would act the same way. This restores some of my faith in human kind!

Friday, September 20, 2013

I am a Fighter Pilot Today

Picture Courtesy of LibertyLadyBook

Today, because the train pulled into the station and stopped at a different point, I landed myself in a different car. I find an empty seat and sit down. It happens to be four empty seats all to myself. Two, two seaters facing each other. The train pulls in to Anderson-Woburn and a guy wearing his ear buds under his shirt and sprouting out of his collar sits down. He is blasting rock music and all I can hear is angry metal. I continue reading my book with little attention to him.

We then get a couple stops further and this older gentleman gets on the train. He asks to sit with us. He looks at me and says “You look like a fighter pilot today. Ya, know… A Tiger!” I look down at my outfit. I guess I do look like a fighter pilot. I am sporting black and brown riding boots with brass buckles, a khaki skirt and a brown leather jacket with a Sherpa collar. The only thing I was missing was the brown “Elmer Fudd” hat.

I look up and close my book. “I guess I do!” I said to him.

“Ya know, Tigers. John Wayne did a movie about it. It’s a great movie.” He stops and thinks for a second. “Ok, I just dated myself!” he says and laughs.

After this interaction, the guy across from us, hits pause on his angry metal and is listening. From there the conversation goes all over the place. He says to me that people his age are usually retired but he still goes in to work. He says “What am I gonna do? Go to Dunkin Donuts with the rest of the retired people and talk about ‘The Good Old Days’? No, I’m still alive. I am gonna continue living. Continue the adventure. I can’t stop movin’. ” He tells me.

“So, you can’t stop moving. What do you do to keep busy?” I say to him.

“I’m in an eighteen piece swing band.” He tells me.

“What instrument do you play?” I ask. For some reason I feel like I already know the answer.

“I’m a drummer.” He says proudly. “I started playing at church and then my grandmother put me in private lessons because I was good and ever since, I haven’t stopped.”

OK, I did know the answer!! The second he said he just can’t stop moving, I knew it because Drummers just don’t stop moving.

At this point we are pulling into North Station. I am so inspired. This guy is in his late 70’s I am assuming and he just couldn’t stop living, can’t stop moving. He works every day. Takes the train every day and on the weekends is in an eighteen piece swing band. Very cool!

Happy Friday everyone! I hope your day started out as nicely as mine did.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013


It’s a darn miracle that I made it to my train on time this morning. I was running behind as it was. I turn on to the main road that gets me to the train station and there is an officer in front of me directing traffic. DETOURED!

OK, my husband and I moved to this town just about a year ago and I know how to get to:

A.)  The Highway
B.)  The Train Station
C.)  The Grocery Store
D.)  CVS (But that is in the same plaza as the grocery store so maybe that doesn’t count.)

It’s not that I haven’t ventured out and explored my new area. It’s just that I hop on a train and spend about 12 hours of every single day in the city and don’t need to do much in my home town other than grocery shop, hit the drug store from time to time and leave it (hence high way knowledge)! Therefore, a detour is just not gonna work for me.

I dig through my console to find my GPS. I find it but realize I don’t know the actual address of the train station. I throw it back in the console and I decide to follow the Prius in front of me. He should know where he is going. We go left then right then….he turns into a parking lot. DAMN! He wasn’t on a detour. He just happened to be going in the same direction as the detour. SHOOT!

I drive a little further and start to recognize some things. OK, all I have to do is go straight and I am pretty sure I will get to the train station. Mind you, I am already running behind so catching the train is almost out of the question.

As I come by some houses I see the train station! Woohoo! I found it without a GPS and without following anyone. I decide to head to the inbound parking lot. I pull into the first spot I see along the back. It’s gonna suck when I get home because:

A)    I will probably forget I parked on that side and will wonder around in the outbound parking lot for a bit.
B)    Once I get to my car, since I pulled in, I will be stuck there because NO ONE lets you back out in to traffic. Sometimes I just want to throw my car in reverse and say “F*ck it” BUT I don’t want to cause accidents.
C)    I will have to wait for the whole line of cars to pass before I can even leave.

However, aside from all those crappy things happening later… I am pretty damn impressed with myself that I did in fact make the train by the skin of my teeth. Yay for making it to work on time!

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Don’t Push Pregnant Women

Picture Courtesy of SpreadShirt

Ok, so this has been a long time coming but my week has been crazy so I apologize. Last week on one of our random last-hurrah-heat-wave days, my friend and I get off the train. It’s hot. She is pregnant and doesn’t want her ankles swelling any more than they already were. I don’t want my hair any frizzier than it already was. SOO, we decide to take the T.

As we get down to the platform we decide that the T is packed and we will wait for the next one. The next T arrives and there is about enough room for one more person. I tell my friend to hop on and I’ll take the next one so she doesn’t have to stand another 5-7 minutes. She says she will wait with me.

As she is saying this, this guy wearing ear buds (who clearly didn’t hear us saying we’d wait), runs in front of my friend and pushes her out of his way so he can get the last spot. He gets on and is looking down. I wish it was because of shame but he has no clue he just pushed an almost full term pregnant woman out of his way to get that spot.

1st- had he not had his ear buds in, he would have heard we were waiting for the next one and could have walked like a normal human being on to the T to fill that last spot.
2nd- You don’t push pregnant women out of your way.
3rd- Just don’t push people out of your way…on a train platform no less! I mean JEEZ!

While he did get the last spot on the T, it just sat there idling for a bit. My friend saying “Did you just see him? He just pushed me out of the way.” Me saying loudly “Who the hell does that? Pushes a pregnant woman out of the way.” People on the T start staring at him. Not sure if they were staring or if it was the fact that they were packed in like sardines and had nowhere else to look. Since the doors were still open, I wanted to pummel him with my purse BUT, I’d look like a psycho and I’d be the one in trouble so I didn’t. Needless to say, this guy probably got to his office on time not even knowing what he had done but in my eyes, he’s burning in hell forever. So, there!

Happy Tuesday.

Friday, September 13, 2013

Trek in the Pouring Rain

This morning as I wait in the pouring rain for the train, I see the train approach us. We all get in to our respective lines and wait for him to stop. He doesn’t. He stops like two cars beyond where he is supposed to stop. We get to now trek, in the pouring rain two train car lengths to the doors.

As we are trekking, I hear someone say “What an A*shole!” I hear another one say “He knows where he has to stop. He is just messing with us…on a Friday…in the pouring rain. NICE!”

By the time we make our trek to the doors, many are soaked. There were people waiting in the building that were just planning on coming out and walking 10 feet to the train but instead they walked about 150-200 feet. Lovely! Happy Friday everyone!

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Update on My Fancy-Spandex-Pants Train Mate

Yesterday as I am getting off the train, I notice that she, Miss Fancy-Spandex-Pants is standing a few feet from me. I look at her outfit. She is wearing a very nice button up lace shirt. It’s very pretty. I then notice that she is wearing a black wife beater over her pretty lace top and it is acting as a vest. Um, NO! If you do, for whatever reason, man or woman, wear a wife beater, they are for under your shirt. They are not meant to be your actual shirt. They are not meant to act as vests. They are meant not to be seen…EVER. That is all!

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

It's A Terrorist Thing

I usually hop in the second car. However, this morning the train was down a car and where I ended up entering was the first car. I take my seat and read on my way in. When we get to North Station, we pull in and everyone is in the aisle. One guy is facing the wrong way. We were closer to the front exit if we faced forward but we all had to exit out the back of the car.

 A woman gets up and says to the man facing the wrong way “We have to go out that way even though this way is closer.” Making her respective pointing gestures toward the doors.

The man responds “Why is that? You know?”

She says in a quiet voice “It’s a terrorist thing.”

The man responds shocked and yelling “It’s a TERRORIST THING? REALLY?”

I take it with a grain of salt because I was close enough to hear this conversation. Everyone else gasps!!!

“We can’t exit out that way because it’s a terrorist thing.” He screams to everyone. He then whispers to the lady “Why is it a terrorist thing?” then he returns to his scream “I did not intentionally say the T WORD. I repeat, I did not intentionally say the T WORD!!!”

The woman explains to him in a hushed tone “We can’t go out that way even though there is an exit there because the engineers’ seat is there along with all of the operations.”

“Oh ya. Oh ya. That makes sense. Ya!”

After that you could have heard a pin drop. Clearly we weren’t in trouble but droppin’ the “T Word” on public transit is certainly a no-no and he realized that the second it came out of his mouth.

Monday, September 9, 2013

God Forsaken Nylons

Picture Courtesy of

So, I almost missed my train today. I made it by the skin of my teeth! I blame Nylons! Yes! Nylons!

It’s my first day wearing nylons after a blissful summer without them! I purchased some Givenchy nylons this year and paid through the nose for them in hopes that I could wear them longer than two days without getting a run, whole, snag and so on. (I’ll let you know how my theory of over spending on nylons works out).

Anyway, I am tall. My legs are long so even though I look tiny, I have to buy the large nylons. I have to go by height and not weight on these. I grab the large Givenchy nylons and figure they’ll be fine. Well, I go to put them on this morning and do you think it’s easy? NO!

I make sure my nails aren’t going to snag. As I am putting them on, I don’t want to put a run in them so I don’t stretch them to their capacity and when I think that I am all done, I realize that they are to my knees and not going any higher. I have to pull them off and start ALL over! This time, I pull at them a little more. They don’t want to stretch as long as my legs. These are a large. Probably the only thing I own that is a large and they don’t want to fit. BUUT it’s 44 degrees outside and I can’t give up.

I finally, after the third try get them on. I throw on the rest of my outfit, fluff my hair once again and spray perfume as I fly out of the bathroom. I put my boots on, motion for my dog to come with me and head down stairs. The dog isn’t happy about being torn from her thrown (AKA my bed) and goes down the stairs at the pace of a snail as if to say “Is this really happening? Are you really making me go down stairs to my own memory foam bed and down throw? Your bed is bigger and better!”

I throw on a jacket, throw things into my work bag and scoot out the door. The clock reads 7:15am! My train comes at 7:26am. 11 minutes to make the train. I am not sure it can be done but I try. I race to the train station, park on the inbound side to maximize my sprinting capabilities and as I park the train arrives. I grab my things, grab 4 shiny Sacagawea coins and head off the parking payment machine. I throw my shiny Sacagawea coins in there and turn around to board the train. I made it! PHEW! Now, I just have to get used to wearing these god forsaken nylons again.

Happy Monday!

Thursday, September 5, 2013

My Butt is Numb!

I got one of THOSE seats! You know the seats. The ones that are newly reupholstered and look all nice and smooth and cushy but when you sit down on it, it’s as hard as a rock! Ya, one of those! I sat and read my book and tried to get comfy but by the time I got to North Station my butt was numb! That is all.   

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo Mothah- F*ckah!

Picture courtesy of KeepCall-O-Matic

Last night I took a Tuscan Immersions Wine class after work. I google mapped  how long it would take to get from Tuscan Immersions Wine class to North Station. My class got out at 7pm and since google maps said I’d make it to North Station in 13 minutes, I knew I could catch the 7:30 train home.

I get out of my class. Walk to Arlington to catch the green line. I get to the platform and the train pulls up minutes later. I read the side “No Service”. UGH! Really? So, it just sits there. Great! It finally leaves and another train pulls in. I hop on with the intentions of going all the way to North Station on it. However, at Government Center, it says “This is the final stop. Please remove all your personal belongings.” Awesome! I get off the train with all of my personal items and just wait. The train I just get out of throws a new destination on its screen. Riverside. Ok, that’s not where I am going so I wait some more. It is now 7:22pm. So much for only taking 13 minutes to get to North Station. I now have 8 minutes to make my train. I contemplate walking to North Station but realize that if I don’t jog, then I will never make it so I take my chances with the T.

A new train finally pulls in. I hop on and have to go two stops. When I get off at North Station I have 4 minutes to catch my train. I have to pee so bad! I mean, I just took a wine class AND had water to offset my wine consumption. I speed walk to the tracks. I enter the station and the left board isn’t lit up. I see that the Lowell train is “On Time” but no track number is assigned to it. Awesome! I can run to the ladies room and then catch my train. If they haven’t started boarding yet, I have a chance.

I walk in and head toward the ladies room and see the inside board lit up. “Lowell- Track 8- ALL ABOARD!” F*CK!!! All aboard status means that if you don’t run immediately upon seeing it, you’re missing the train. The train on the other board was the 8:30 train that was “On Time” So, so much for peeing. UGH! I get to sit on the train for the next hour uncomfortable. However, it beats the alternative which is going to the ladies room, missing my train and waiting in the station for an hour and delaying the time I get home that much more.

Once I get on the train, I find the first available seat. It’s next to a woman chowing on a Boloco burrito. Fine. Whatever. I get it. It’s late; you’re starving and just need to eat. Once she is done her burrito the size of a football, she opens a book. I have no idea what book she is reading. However, she sounds like she is having an orgasm one foot away from me. I give her a filthy look.

She stops but continues reading. Since this isn’t an express train and people are getting off, seats open up. I start to look around. As I am doing this she starts again. I look over to find her “adjusting” herself. Um, hello lady! I am less than a foot away from you! PS. It doesn’t help that she looks like the fairy f*cking godmother from Disney’s Cinderella! Gross. I hastily grab my stuff, give her another death look and move to a vacant seat where I sit by myself until my stop.

Just another day on public transit. Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo Mothah- F*ckah!

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Labor Day in the City

Picture Courtesy of Dreamstime

Oh Labor Day! The Friday before Labor Day brought stupidity out in the tourists. On my way to the train on Friday, I overheard a tourist say to another “Now you can say you have visited the capital of New England!” Yup! That really happened. I know Boston is the capital of something but pretty darn sure it’s not New England!

After I overheard that precious gem, another tourist asks me how to get to Government Center. I tell her “Go to the next block. You’ll head up a huge set of stairs on your left.” I follow her because I have to head that way anyways. She power walks off and I’m trailing. She crosses to the next block and then, to my dismay, she turns right and heads into the cross walk toward Faneuil Hall. What part of LEFT and  HUGE set of STAIRS wasn’t clear? O’well! I laughed to myself as I flew by the crosswalk that she was already in.

Tuesday! Ahh, it’s like the first day of school for grown-ups! Everyone is back at the train station. It’s no longer the small crowd of people boarding. It’s everyone! They were all dressed in their new fall fashions. I however, took my dog for a walk this morning and realized the humidity is insane today so I decided against my fall fashions, even though I bought a hot pair of riding boots for the fall/winter and REALLY wanted to wear them!

After I board the train I over hear many people saying the same thing “My kids now understand why they have a bed time.” “My kids were dragging this morning.” “So and so didn’t want to get dressed this morning so that was fun.” “So and so refused to eat breakfast today.” “We almost missed the bus this morning.” Geez! If I had even a quarter for every time I overheard a parent complain about their child’s lack of bedtime/morning routine, I could have bought myself a pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks by the time I got to Anderson-Woburn! And that was just one stop!

Welcome back to reality everyone!