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Wednesday, December 9, 2015

That Ma'am-Sir is Bird Sh*t!

This morning, even though it was freezing and brisk, I was reminded of my vacation in February to the Philippines. I was sitting on the train when a woman frantically was trying to open the bathroom door. No one on the commuter train actually goes in the bathroom. She couldn’t get the door open and was starting to panic. Since I was close, I was like “Oh great! I’m going to smell something soon.” She starts asking for tissues as she is holding out her arm like a rigid stick.

A woman with a baby grabs her wipes out of her bag “Will these work?” she says.

“That’s better than a tissue! Thank you! Thank you!” the rigid armed lady says to the woman with the baby. She starts wiping her arm and turns to everyone looking at her and says “A pigeon got me! Bird sh*t all on my arm!”

And that’s when I lost it because I too have been in a similar situation (but I kept it inside because I don’t want people to think I’m crazy…and ya know…blog about me)

I was caving in the Philippines when I set my hand down on a railing that I was actually allowed to touch. I felt something goopy under my hand. I didn’t think much of it because water was leaking from all around but then I realized that it wasn’t water, it was something else. I look up at our tour guide and have this horrified look on my face while I look at my hand. In his broken English he says to me “That Ma’am-Sir….is bird sh*t!” We nearly fell over in laughter. I was no longer concerned with my poopy hand. I was laughing with the best one liner (that he didn’t even know was a one liner) from that vacation. It was a good thing too because I left the essentials in the vehicle and anti-bac was nowhere to be found. This woman on the train was lucky enough someone had wipes available to her...and I was lucky to have a silly memory instead.

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