Butterflies and Unicorns

Pictrues Courtesy of FanPop

Recently, I got a comment on here about how terrible of a person I am. I just want to set the record straight here. Clearly this blog is for entertainment purposes. Most of my posts are written pre-coffee. I am an overly nice person in real life and in fact, my husband yelled at me the other day for being “too nice” because people tend to “walk all over me”!

This blog is a way for me to vent because it blows my mind what people do in public spaces. I sit there and usually don’t say anything! I think I have only snapped ONCE in two and a half years of being a train commuter, on someone on the T and that was the other day when I seriously thought I was going to miss my stop because they were too stupid to move out of the way of the ONLY door that lets people off the train.

Clearly I am irritated that I have to sit with people that smell like cat piss, peppers, curry, onions, salami, hang-over-smell and so on. Clearly, I hate when people pluck their f*cking eyebrows next to me and dispose of them…on me! Clearly, I hate it when people have troughs of popcorn and spray it everywhere and get popcorn grease on my suede jacket and ruin it. However, I bite my tongue though because I am TOO NICE! This blog is my outlet and so many of you click on this blog because you can relate and I appreciate that you continue to see what I have to say!

It is obvious that I’d rather hop in my new Barbie Jeep and head into the city with my radio blasting and the top down. However, the traffic is horrendous and the price of parking is outrageous. So, in order to have spending money and get in and out of the city at a reasonable time, I have chosen to take the train with the good and the bad. Mostly it’s good but there are times that it’s bad and those times, get posted on my blog.

I have had some heart touching moments on the train. I write about those too. The blind leading the blind. A blind man took a visiting college student and showed her were to go! He made a great point, if he didn’t know where he was going he’d be lost in the dark! The violins at North Station in the winter time are great! I love them. The fact that I have made friends on the train and am now considered by fellow train riders “Charlie’s Angels”. However, I’d say 95% of the time, this blog is complaining. It’s sarcastic. It’s my outlet that fellow train commuters can relate to.

If you don’t take the train, you probably think I am a whiney b*tch. Or, you don’t believe me that people actually do this sh*t in public. Ohhh, but they do and that’s why I can write about it. You can’t make this sh*t up! You just can’t!

So, to those of you who read my blog and can relate to my silly experiences and can laugh at them: Thanks! I appreciate the love!

To those of you who think that I am an awful person: Life (and public transit) isn’t always butterflies and unicorns and when it’s not, I am going to point it out.

But it's an Expensive Bag...

For those of you who remember my post on Various Seat Hogging Tactics, here is a perfect example of- The Bag Lady! To refresh your memory,

• The Bag Lady

Or bag man for that matter. Either way, this maneuver is for amateur train riders and is an old stand by for tried and true train riders. The subject places their bag on the seat instead of in the over head rack or on the floor by their feet. Subject hopes that people boarding see that obviously the bag is sitting in the seat so they in turn can not sit there. However, I on the other hand, will ask them to move their bags and sit anyways. I will make you move your bag before I stand in the aisle.  We all paid our train ticket and I don’t believe your bag did. (MBTA is looking into ticketing people who have their bags on seats and I honestly hope they do it.)

This morning on the train the conductor is coming through and there are a lot of people standing in the aisle with no seat. The conductor comes to a seat with a girl and an oversized hand bag in it. The conductor “Miss, you will have to move your bag. There are a ton of people in the aisles. Put it on the floor, on your lap, on the over head but it needs to be off that seat so people can sit.”

This girl looks up and says in her best Paris Hilton voice “But Sir, it’s an expensive bag.” The conductor is not amused.

“Then put it in your lap.” He says.

“Then how am I going to read?” she says continuing the Paris Hilton voice.

“If you don’t find a place for that, you will be standing in the aisle holding your bag and not reading and two people will get to sit.”

She grabs her purse in a fit and puts it on her lap. I might add that she was able to still read with her oversized purse in her lap and someone got to sit. I am glad the conductor said something! I have an expensive purse and an expensive back pack. The expensive back pack goes on the floor by my feet. You can’t get emotionally attached to a work bag when you are a train commuter. It’s going to get dirty and/or ruined and for my hand bag, I keep it on my lap and it remains pristine. Get over yourself girl, because everyone has expensive things and we all just deal with the fact that we are in a public space and it could get damaged.