Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

Thursday, December 29, 2011

"I'm Going off the Rails on a Crazy Train" -Ozzy

Since this week has been an easy commute, I have been arriving at the office a good 10 minutes early which means at the end of the day, I can leave a bit early to catch the early train home. Well, yesterday I was well on my way to the 510pm train. I was so excited I was going to make the early train. I hopped on the T and was on my merry little way. When I got off the T at North Station I saw what is usually the popcorn stand filled with crazy flash light gear… the kind that are only sold at… wait for it… kid shows! I walk out of the T station and into the train station to find people with programs to some Disney on Ice event. The event JUST got out… just in time for the 510pm train. Awesome. I board the train. 80% of it filled with kids under the age of 5 jacked up on cotton candy and soda. Just great!

I take my seat with what looks to be a commuter in a 3 seater. Another commuter asks me to slide to the middle seat so she can sit. Even though I am in a seat full of commuters, the kids are surrounding us sprinkled with parents and/or chaperones.

Before the train leaves North Station, these people break out into a chant of Hakuna Matata! I know I’m in for it now!!

After Hakuna Matata, a fight breaks out over the middle seat:

“You told me I can have the middle seat. You said! MIDDLE MIDDLE MIDDLE!!!” claims a Whiney Brat
“We’ll take turns.” – Chaperone and/or Mother
“Fine. I’m hungry. I said I’m hungry.” States Whiney Brat
“Who wants raisins?” – Chaperone and/or Dad
“I do.” Shouts a chorus of kids
“What do you say?” Chaperone and/or Mother
“Thank you!” screams a chorus of kids
“Oops. I dropped it.” Says Whiney Brat
“Don’t touch it. Leave it on the floor!” Chaperone and/or Mother
“There is one more. Who wants it?” (Now there’s a Dad who has no idea what he is doing…one more and you have how many kids? This is when you eat the damn raisin yourself and call it a day)

Finally another commuter hisses “SHHHHHHH! Shhhhhhhhh!”

There is quiet for a short period of time!! Thank goodness!!

The Dad starts talking again. “I was deeply disappointed in Jasmine. Such a disappointment.” What was Jasmine his fantasy princess? What grown man is disappointed with Jasmine on ice skates?

The fight for the middle seat continues. “Amanda it’s Layla’s turn.” States the mother. Amanda clearly is not ok with that and states that she was there fiiiiiiirst! (Amanda must be “Whiney Brat”)

The mother is interrupted by a text “Oh I just got a text from work that Friday is wear your pajama’s to work day”
“My version of pajamas and what you actually wear to work are two completely different things.” States the Dad
“HAHA As she shows up to work in a Teddy.” Giggles the dad’s friend (This brings us to the TMI Etiquette train rule- did not need that visual.)

Another kid from the back screams “Oh look! They have monkey bars on the train mom!!” The mother panics and grabs her kid down. “Get down!! Those are not monkey bars! That is for luggage!”

And just around now is when we land at Anderson-Woburn and I have arrived at my stop! Thank goodness. I couldn’t take that any more. As I left the train I gave a sympathetic smile to the conductor and he smiles back and says “At least you’re getting off now. I have another hour!” Poor guy!

No comments:

Post a Comment