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Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Shut The F*ck Up & Pop A Better Breath Mint

This morning, let me preface this by saying, I had a pounding headache. So, I get on the train and hop in a seat that has no one in it. Immediately, someone sits down next to me. Some chick that had THE worst morning breath I had ever smelled in public! She sits down and to my dismay, is breathing. I hold my breath for a while and she pops a tic tac. One tic tac! I start to breath again and realize that this chick didn’t just need a tic tac, she needed a curiously strong mint! I try sipping my coffee because I know it will relieve my pounding head but instead I start gagging because this girl is, god forbid, still breathing!

To top it off, some guys phone rings and he picks it up and starts catching up with someone and trash talking this one guy they both know in common.

“Oh my god! I would never name my kid after me after what Jimmy did to his parents….”

“I know! He was using his dad’s credit cards and checks. He told me that once the police tell his dad that it was his son using his cards and check book that his dad will most likely drop the charges….”

“Ya, he bought an iPhone with his dad’s credit card and then hawked it to get his boyfriend out of jail. I called the number and the girl that bought it was like ‘Um, I don’t know Jimmy. He just sold me his phone to get his boyfriend out of jail.’ And then I was like ‘Sweety, he bought this phone with stolen money and sorry to say this but the police are going to take your phone now.’ And she was like ‘OMG’!”

“Ya, and then when he was with me, he was complaining that he missed his clothes so I drove him all the way to Cambridge to get them at 4 in the morning and he never said thank you. NEVER SAID THANK YOU! Can you believe him? So self centered.”

And this guy just kept going on and on for the entire 45 minute train ride. He hardly took a breath…probably because he was smelling the less than stellar breath near by. He just had a bad case of verbal diarrhea. I wanted to turn around and b*tch slap him and say “Shut the f*ck up!” The more I thought about it, I am pretty sure I was in the quiet car too! It’s 7:30 in the morning, I am not awake enough to listen to the drama! Especially of someone else’s bull sh*t!

My husband wonders why I can’t relax on the train…this is why. People think it's ok to be stinky and people do in this space, what they should be doing in their own space.

1 comment:

  1. I get that there is not much you can do about he bad breath lady, but if you were in fact on the quiet car, I would have asked him to end his call.