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Friday, December 20, 2013

White Trash Facial on the Train

Last night was a special ride home. My friend and I grabbed a two seater facing another two seater. The seat across from us was empty until, this white trash fabulous couple (That is a combination of white trash and ghetto fabulous) sits there.  The girl has Uggs on. OK, Uggs are stupid. They are right up there with Shape Ups! No one thinks they are hot so stop wearing them…especially if they are saturated in street salt. PS, if you are going to wear them and they happen to get salt all on them, you can have them professionally cleaned at your local dry cleaners to make them more tolerable.

The girl starts picking at her face but stops after she pops a pimple. The guy on the other hand, picks at his pimpled face all the way from North Station to Anderson (and probably beyond that but I got off at Anderson yesterday because that’s where I left from that morning).

It was nasty. My friend and I are trying not to look…not for the sake of being polite, for the sake of us not losing our appetite for dinner. The girlfriend hands the guy a compact mirror and he is going to town on his face. The girlfriend then decides she can help him pop his pimple and dives in herself and starts extracting. They don’t have tissues. Just a compact so lord only knows where the “extractions” ended up. I am gagging thinking about it and can hardly keep down my morning hot cocoa as I type this.

Needless to say, don’t pop your pimples in public. The funny part is that we were right next to a bathroom. My friend and I were talking about how we wouldn’t use that bathroom as train commuters. However, as tourists, we might. Well, the white trash fabulous couple across from us couldn’t have been commuters so they could have popped in there to save us from having to look at their pimple extracted faces.

What did we learn today?

-          Don’t extract bodily fluids on the train.
-          Don’t extract your boyfriend’s bodily fluids on the train.

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