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Thursday, February 13, 2014

I Found My Gloves

I missed my gloves! They were my favorite after all. I decide that I will check the lost and found at the train station to see if there was some off chance that anyone returned them. I go to the desk “Has anyone turned in a black pair of gloves?” I ask the man behind the counter.

The train station is packed due to a plethora of delayed trains and some tree hugging, granola chick is standing next to the lost and found- slash-security window.

The guy from behind the counter tells me I need to be more specific. “Black alligator leather gloves!” The tree hugging, granola chick gives me the absolute look of death. He grabs a box of gloves and throws it in front of me. There must be 50 pair of black gloves in there. “Are they in there?”

I look over the top of the box and wouldn’t you know they are ON THE TOP!!! I shriek with excitement! “Oh my god!! They are here!! That’s them!!” I tell him. I whip them out of the box and throw them on my hands while the tree hugger, granola chick stares me down. “He found my gloves!” I shriek at her.

“And an alligator died for those!” she says back to me with less enthusiasm than I have.

I did a valley-girl like “Uh huh!!” and even did the valley-girl head tilt…all I was missing was blond hair and gum! Then I walked away toward the platform of my train. I felt like saying “Yes, an alligator died for these but I don’t go around telling you that you need to wear deodorant so shut the f*ck up!” BUUUT I didn’t! I know when it’s not my place to say something and clearly, she doesn’t but we all know how f*cked I am if my inner voice ever becomes my outer voice…

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