We Have A Cruise Director

Last night, I left the office a little late. However, with just enough time to catch the 530 train, if the timing on the T worked out perfectly, I’d make it.

I went to State to wait for the T. While I am waiting, the platform is packed!! A train pulls in and hardly anyone gets on. Some girl pleaded with the people on the train to let her on so she could catch her commuter rail. No one budged.

The next train came in and it was a mad dash to get on. People packed on like sardines. I was lucky enough to stand in the crook of some guys arm pit for two whole stops. (He was SURE! Not Unsure! Thank god!) Before I happily landed in the crook of his armpit this unfolded:

There isn’t any more room on the train. Some huge man weighing in at maybe 300 pounds decides he is going to squeeze on. I mean, the space he was trying to fit into was a space I would barely fit in and I am a third his size. This girl notices him trying to squeeze in and she screams “This fat guy in the red jacket is trying to squeeze on. Apparently he has places to go. Can we squeeze in so he can fit because we ain’t going anywhere until he is on… he is not givin’ up people!”  The guy looks up at her she continues “Yeah! You! You think you’re getting on here? Let’s see about that.”

She starts barking orders to everyone “You sit in that empty seat, now you move down, you can fit there…” her boyfriend tries to quiet her down and she turns to him and says “If I don’t play cruise director, we aren’t leavin’ this station. This guy thinks he can fit!” The guy in the red didn’t seem embarrassed and just stood there with the door getting stuck on his backside while the train conductor yelled over the loud speaker for him to fit inside or get off. He didn’t move!

Finally we all settle into our places (I like to equate this to when I fill my sugar and flour jars. You shake the canister to make it settle in and then you can top it off and add more…shake and repeat!) The fat guy in the red jacket fits on board and we start moving.

From the crook of some guys arm pit, I hear this girl yell to the guy “You can thank me now!” the guy in the red says nothing and looks at his feet…or his stomach…covering his feet.

Good times on the T!