I Was the Irritated B*tch Today

This morning was a dreary, chilly morning. Instead of walking I decide to take the T. I head down to the platform and wait for the next train at North Station. The next train pulls in but it packed so I wait for the next one.

The next train comes 4 minutes later and I board the train. I notice a gramma, mother and son trio blocking the door on the other side of the train. That’s the door I have to get out of at State. I don’t think too much of it as most people with strollers know to get the hell out of the way when people are disembarking the train.

Haymarket comes and goes and then we arrive at State. I make my way towards the door and they just stand there! They now have the kid out of the stroller so the mom is holding the son that is trying to walk off the train (the only one doing the right thing here) and gramma is standing there holding the stroller and watching like a hawk their 500-bagilion pack of Huggies that is also blocking the door. I do my normal “Excuse me.” In my polite tone and they stare at me blankly. “I need to get off the train.” They still stare at me blankly and now I am pissed. These doors are gonna close soon and I will be stuck on the T one more stop and then I’ll either have to get off at another stop and take the T back to State or I’d have to walk…which was what I was trying to avoid in the first place!

My tone now changes. I am now irritated at these f*cking idiots “YOU NEED TO GET OFF, LET ME OFF AND GET BACK ON!” The mom and son get off but leave their 500 pack of f*cking Huggies in my way. I am wearing a pencil skirt so it’s not like I can just leap over it. My legs can’t spread out enough to climb over. Pencil skirts are hot but try leaping over things and it’s all over and I wasn’t about to take a spill on the train platform for everyone to see and for my freshly cleaned outfit to get filthy!

I stare at the 500 pack of Huggies. “I NEED TO GET OFF!!!!!” I scream at them. Now people behind me are getting mad. “YOU NEED TO MOVE.” Someone screams behind me. The gramma kicks the 500 pack of Huggies off the train and I plow through along with the rest of the people behind me. “Thank youuuuuuuuu” I say as I whiz by the mom and son not even sure if they even speak English at this point.

So, people…when you are on the train, I don’t care (actually no one cares) if you have a stroller or a baby. You move! You get the f*ck out of the way of a door that is THE ONLY DOOR THAT LETS PEOPLE OFF!!!!!! And also, when you purchase things that are monstrosities, like a 500-bagilion pack of Huggies, for instance, be smart enough to not take it on a rush hour train, or if your kid is out of the stroller, throw it in there. It’s common sense people! I have brought large items on the train before but I certainly did not make it anyone else’s problem.

So, what have we learned from today’s train etiquette lesson?

·         Get the f*ck out of the way

·         Don’t carry 500-bagilion packs of Huggies on rush hour trains