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Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo Mothah- F*ckah!

Picture courtesy of KeepCall-O-Matic

Last night I took a Tuscan Immersions Wine class after work. I google mapped  how long it would take to get from Tuscan Immersions Wine class to North Station. My class got out at 7pm and since google maps said I’d make it to North Station in 13 minutes, I knew I could catch the 7:30 train home.

I get out of my class. Walk to Arlington to catch the green line. I get to the platform and the train pulls up minutes later. I read the side “No Service”. UGH! Really? So, it just sits there. Great! It finally leaves and another train pulls in. I hop on with the intentions of going all the way to North Station on it. However, at Government Center, it says “This is the final stop. Please remove all your personal belongings.” Awesome! I get off the train with all of my personal items and just wait. The train I just get out of throws a new destination on its screen. Riverside. Ok, that’s not where I am going so I wait some more. It is now 7:22pm. So much for only taking 13 minutes to get to North Station. I now have 8 minutes to make my train. I contemplate walking to North Station but realize that if I don’t jog, then I will never make it so I take my chances with the T.

A new train finally pulls in. I hop on and have to go two stops. When I get off at North Station I have 4 minutes to catch my train. I have to pee so bad! I mean, I just took a wine class AND had water to offset my wine consumption. I speed walk to the tracks. I enter the station and the left board isn’t lit up. I see that the Lowell train is “On Time” but no track number is assigned to it. Awesome! I can run to the ladies room and then catch my train. If they haven’t started boarding yet, I have a chance.

I walk in and head toward the ladies room and see the inside board lit up. “Lowell- Track 8- ALL ABOARD!” F*CK!!! All aboard status means that if you don’t run immediately upon seeing it, you’re missing the train. The train on the other board was the 8:30 train that was “On Time” So, so much for peeing. UGH! I get to sit on the train for the next hour uncomfortable. However, it beats the alternative which is going to the ladies room, missing my train and waiting in the station for an hour and delaying the time I get home that much more.

Once I get on the train, I find the first available seat. It’s next to a woman chowing on a Boloco burrito. Fine. Whatever. I get it. It’s late; you’re starving and just need to eat. Once she is done her burrito the size of a football, she opens a book. I have no idea what book she is reading. However, she sounds like she is having an orgasm one foot away from me. I give her a filthy look.

She stops but continues reading. Since this isn’t an express train and people are getting off, seats open up. I start to look around. As I am doing this she starts again. I look over to find her “adjusting” herself. Um, hello lady! I am less than a foot away from you! PS. It doesn’t help that she looks like the fairy f*cking godmother from Disney’s Cinderella! Gross. I hastily grab my stuff, give her another death look and move to a vacant seat where I sit by myself until my stop.

Just another day on public transit. Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo Mothah- F*ckah!

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