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Friday, November 1, 2013

Get Your Suburban Panties Out of a Bunch

Oh's on the chopping block for me right now! I don’t think I ever really liked the holiday but I have always gone along with it.

Yesterday I wore my orange and black and was as festive as I could be in a professional office. Example: Wearing glow in the dark skeleton earrings was out of the question!

I took the early train home because my town posted on the Mass trick or treating site that it started at 5pm. I rushed home only to find that it had been miss posted and it actually started at 6pm. It also seems like everyone else saw the miss posted trick or treat time because the train was so packed that it was eventually standing room only…ALL THE WAY to the end of the line. Which never happens and then I sat in traffic to get out of the train parking lot which also, never happens!

What happens after I get home, I never saw coming! My husband works for a beverage company. A coworker of his says that he hands out soda and is the coolest house in the neighborhood. Everyone loves it!! My husband tells me and I think it’s a great idea so instead of candy, we hand out soda!

First of all, do kids say “Trick or Treat” anymore because these little snots just came to the door and just opened their bag? Not one word.

Then, we got a trick or treater that gave us back our soda and walked off of our porch almost in tears. The mom asked what was wrong as if WE did something to the poor kid.

The next kid got a soda in her bag and screams to the kids in the Cul De Sac “Don’t go to this house!!!!” Um, flat out rude!!! I would NEVER have had the balls to say anything like that when I was little. Not even of the house giving out fruit or Necco wafers!

We got another kid that was psyched over his soda and when he got to his parents, they scream to us from the street “You have some GUTS!!!!”

Another kid says to us “Sweet! My mom’s gonna be pissed!”

And another woman says to us “He’s not drinking that.” Then turns to the kid and says “Keep walking.” They then cut across the lawn and I secretly hoped they stepped in dog sh*t!

We got a few tweens that were psyched to get the soda and others welcomed the drink as they were thirsty from walking from house to house.

However, I never saw the rude comments coming. I was taught that if it’s something you don’t like, you take it and say “Thank you” anyways. If you don’t like it or your parents had a problem with it, they’d confiscate it at the end of the night or  you trade it with your sibling.

Do you think I told the people with Necco wafers that I don’t like them? NO! Do you think I told the people with Snickers that I was allergic to peanuts? NO… I took those for my dad! Did I tell people that I didn’t want Junior Mints? Nope! Those were for mom!

If it’s caffeine they are worried about… um there is caffeine in chocolate! If it’s the sugar, then go tell the house giving out pixy stix that they have “guts” too! Lighted up! It’s Halloween! Get your suburban panties out of a bunch!

That being said, I think the $50 bucks we spent on things to pass out will be spent on us next year instead.  We’ll stash the dog in the basement (the only place where the light isn’t seen from the road) and head to the local watering hole where we will avoid nasty parents and snotty kids.

I am officially ba-humbug about Halloween!

Oh….and Happy Friday.

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