I ALMOST slapped a b*tch today.
I get on at my stop and find a seat on the end of a three seater. The middle seat was open. I put my purse and bag on my lap and scroll through my phone as we continue on to the next stop. We get to Anderson-Woburn and this girl gets on and says to me as I am scrolling through my very important Facebook feed “MOVE OVER!”
She didn’t say “Can you move over please?” She just demanded that I “Move over!”
I survey her shoes. Boat shoes! UM, I am pretty sure everyone has taken their boats out of the water this past weekend so boat shoes…officially out of season.
I look up and see her stupid mousey nose with her stupid mousey lips and just envision her nibbling on a stupid piece of cheese.
Have I mentioned I haven’t taken ONE sip of my coffee yet and I have been up since 4am because my husband’s alarm went off at that time so he could go to an early meeting?
I do my best to smile and move over.
For those of you, like her that do not know commuter etiquette, this is how this should have gone down:
Mousey-Boat Shoe Girl- “Can I sit there?” While she is pointing to the middle seat.
Me- “Sure.” But instead of getting up to give her the middle, I slide in and take the middle myself.
Mousey-Boat Shoe Girl- Act pleasantly surprised that I have given you the coveted end seat while saying “Thank you!”
Me- “No problem.”
See, simple as that and no one gets b*tch slapped or judged on their out of season boat shoes.