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Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Complaints of a Commuter Girl

This morning, I board the train and select a seat. I sit down and get situated on an aisle seat. I look up to see a woman knitting on one of the end cap seats facing me. She is wearing a skirt and her legs are spread eagle. What the heck lady! Close your legs. I don’t care if that is where your yarns path is, close ‘em up! I don’t care if you have tights on either. PLUS, it’s going to be almost 80 today. Who the heck wears tights on a day that’s going to be so nice out? I sure as hell didn’t. I am not wasting a tights day on today. I hate those things!!

Next, let’s talk about that smell…you know that smell, when all the winter sweaters come out from storage. MOTH BALLS! COME ON! Wash your damn clothes before you wear them after they come out of storage. NO ONE likes the smell of moth balls and now it’s near me on the train for my entire commute. BLECH! Gross!

Next, smokers. Jesus! You don’t smell pleasant! I don’t know how you sit with yourself all day. This guy that no-word-of-a-lie smells like a damn ash tray likes to sit near me. I try VERY hard to steer clear from him but somehow or another, he sits near me way too often. Carry some Febreze in your bag and a compact bottle of Listerine. PS, it’s 7 in the morning. How on earth do you already smell like an ash tray?

So, what did we learn today? Let’s recap:

·         Close your damn legs.
·         Don’t wear tights/nylons on days that will reach 80.
·         Wash your clothes after they have spent half a year with moth balls.
·         If you chose to smell like an ashtray, spray yourself with Febreze and swish with Listerine.

It’s very easy people. VERY EASY!

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