Meet El-Creep-O

This morning I had to do something that I haven’t had to do in a while… Run for the train! I got stuck at a traffic light which held me up just enough to screw with my usual perfect timing. As I was running with a few others, a brave man stood on the platform to hold up the train. He wouldn’t board and the train had to wait! Thank goodness for him. Otherwise I would have had another human popsicle moment waiting for the next train to come.

In my rush to get on the train and get seated, I mistakenly sat near “El Creep-O”. Let’s take a minute and meet El Creep-O shall we?

El Creep-O (Person)- A man that I see on a daily basis. He gives me the creeps hence, why I named him El Creep-O. He seems like the strong silent type. He dresses in business-casual every day, has thick black wavy hair that is always groomed impeccably, and has perfect posture. El Creep-O always seems to find his way over to where I am. He manages to always find me no matter how often I try to “change it up”. Even though he always finds me, we have never spoken aside from “Thank you.” and “You’re Welcome.” He always is chivalrous and lets me go in front of him to get on the train. I say “Thank you” he says “You’re welcome” that’s it. I wonder if he thinks those are the only words I know and that I am some Russian foreigner like the people at the airport thought I was the other day…Anyways…..  I have recently discovered he drives a Kia with a Jesus fish plastered to the back of it (Not that there is anything wrong with that. I just don’t want a Jesus fish on my car). Now, every time he looks at me with his beady brown eyes and smiles, I envision him thinking “I’ll pray for you.” This confuses me that he is a devoted Christian because in the evening I have seen him at North Station with various girls shamelessly flirting. This makes me confused because now I can’t tell if he is a womanizer or if these girls are thinking “Oh it’s just El-Creep-O. He means no harm. He goes to church every Sunday and has a Jesus fish on his Kia”. We’ve all been there… the guy you think is completely harmless when he in fact… isn’t!

So, now that you have met El Creep-O, you know why I hate sitting anywhere near him on the train. It’s a half an hour of grueling self consciousness. Not because I care what he thinks, because he stares at me the entire ride. It’s annoying really!  

Since Christmas already passed, I am thinking of getting him this hat for Easter! HUH!