This morning when the commuter train pulled in the station, everyone was absolutely ready to board. It was freezing cold and we needed to hop on the train quickly. This time, the train pulled in with a double decker train car. I walked in and almost went on the bottom floor but decided that it’s not every day that I get to ride into work with a higher point of view. It was pretty neat. As the train took off, I felt like I was in a movie where they film the person riding solo on a train escaping their troubles and reflecting upon what they will do next and that is exactly what I did.
My view improved tremendously being on the top car and I saw into the little towns instead of the normal street level view I had. It did actually give me time to reflect and reevaluate. It was pretty neat because I really needed a reality check. I came to the conclusion that my generosity with my time and money will be coming to a complete halt! It will be hard for me since I love to give. However, when my friends aren’t willing to be there for me when I need them the most, it has been a complete wake up call and I have decided I will no longer be a door mat. You do something nice for me for a change.
I am glad to have had that time on the double decker because had I been on my normal train ride down below, I would have buried my head in a book and not giving myself a chance to think. This is good. I am starting to see who is really there for me and who is superficially there for me. I am weeding out the good and the bad and it’s a wake up call I needed.